To not tip when eating out?

[JemimaPuddleDucksPuddle]

Saw a thread on another board that mentioned tipping when eating out and whether or not you should. The majority of posters seemed to think of a person as being tight fisted or ungenerous if they don't tip. I disagree and don't tip as a matter of routine, only if the service is exceptional. AIBU?

I tip anyone who provides me a personal service, where it is ethically acceptable to do so. That discounts nurses and the like. But whenever my husband is in hospital I always take baked cakes the nurses like.

I do it because it's a token of gratitude. It's nothing to do with how much people are paid for me.

I agree with you OP. I tip for exceptional service. I don't engage with posters who make it personal. We have NMW now, if the big-mouths here feel so strongly about the taxation issue, how about changing that by lobbying businesses and only supporting the ones who pay properly.

'Lady bountiful' springs to mind with some of the posters here. It's a bit pitiful and embarrassing.

I don't understand the distinction between waiters and bar staff or shop staff. Or the trolley guy on the train, or the bus driver, or the guy who delivers your Amazon parcel, or the teaching assistants at your kids primary school.

I've worked as a waitress in a big restaurant and as a cashier in a large supermarket chain and I'd rather waitress any day of the week. But I guess all you tippers are slipping a fiver to the woman on the till at Sainsbury's too???

Ffs only in the world of mumsnet is tipping rude. Its really mean and tight not to tip. I'd 100%judge someone for not tipping.

I've honestly never come across anyone who doesn't tip in a restaurant, and yes I would think it really mean spirited if I came across it. Also tip taxi drivers, bar staff, hairdresser and nail technician. Actually can think of a multitude of situations where I've tipped. We got a minibus to take us to and from an event at the weekend and we all chipped in for a tip for the driver for instance.

To those saying they wouldn't date/marry a person who doesn't tip, what would you do if your spouse changed their mind about tipping once you're married and decided not to do it anymore? You aren't going to divorce them over that surely? Because people change and someone who once tipped might genuinely decide not to anymore, I think a few PP said they've changed their opinions on tipping

To those saying they wouldn't date/marry a person who doesn't tip, what would you do if your spouse changed their mind

I think if you have a generous nature that just doesn't change. The same way that a tight person won't change. I think the only reason DP would change his mind about tipping is if circumstances meant we were on the bones of our arses. Unlikely to be going out for many meals in this scenario anyway.

My ex was a tipper and he was a right cockwomble of the highest order

Tipping does not = holier than thou

Rude and ridiculous lol. I’d still rather be me and that by your standards, and be decent to people who serve me in restaurants than a tight miserable git seeking solace in the comfort of similar miserable tightarses

The only comeback the non tippers have is to accuse us of virtue signalling and Lady Bountiful. Not at all. I’d never have started a thread saying how great I am for tipping. I only posted to add balance as the thread was already here. It’s just something I do when I’ve gone for a meal as a wee thank you for good service. I don’t make a big deal of it because it isn’t. But maybe I get good service which merits a tip because I don’t have an attitude where I think wait staff are beneath me, as some definitely do.

I’d cringe so bad if I was out with someone who didn’t tip. Awful.

I tip 10%, more if the food and service was exceptional, or very good value. If the food was lousy or the service poor, or if there was a service charge added to the bill then no, I wouldn't tip but otherwise, yes of course.

I am amazed at the number of frankly tight-fisted posters here! I would judge you so hard if you didn't tip if I was eating out with you. Literally none of my friends would consider not tipping unless for a very good reason - If you refused to chip in for a 10-15% tip, I would not want to eat out with you again, and quite probably not remain friends with you, in all seriousness.

I tip waiting staff, hairdressers and taxi /Uber drivers. It's just how things are.

@57Varieties Exactly! Tight fisted bunch...

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe excellent point. And I don't respond to them either, I was raised to ignore bullies and let them wallow in their cowardice 

@cccameron I think it depends on your definition of generosity? There are many people I know that don't tip that I would describe as generous, and many who tip but are 'showy' and not very nice people. I think similar to romantic relationships, what may be a deal breaker to some people is simply not a deal breaker to others.

@57Varieties Are you not able to contribute to a debate without personally insulting people ?

Yet you are accusing another poster of being 12. Oh, the irony.

@RandomFactor I mentioned previously that when out with friends who want to do a group tip I always chip in and contribute. It's just plain awkward otherwise. However not all of my friends tip, neither do most of my family.

FWIW, if I ever went to the US I wouldn't even dream of not tipping given it's compulsory and incredibly rude if you don't. And I think it's in Japan that it's considered rude so I wouldn't do so there. Here, we have a choice and I exercise that accordingly.

My 16 year old DS earns £4.35 an hour as a waiter, a small tip does make the world of difference on that wage (assuming he’s given good service).

@BackforGood and this is the same person painting my character in a negative light for not tipping  @57Varieties is another one getting a disengage and bye bye from me

@JemimaPuddleDucksPuddle Nothing in my previous post was aimed at you specifically!

I agree there's a social context and know tipping in Japan is considered rude. But we're not in Japan, we're in the UK (or at least I am) and the prevailing social convention is to tip the person who waited on you.

Not tipping is seriously poor form IMO.

I do tip, I would be a hypocrite if I didn't considering I gladly accepted them when I worked in the casino.

I admit to finding it strange we tip servers but not retail etc when they can be on similar wages. But yeah I always tip I dont think I could walk out without doing so, unless it was awful service.

@RandomFactor my mistake!

I do it because it's a token of gratitude. It's nothing to do with how much people are paid for me.

Bingo

I tip if the service was good and they went beyond just plonking a plate infront of me. I also tip the cleaners in hotels because I think their job must be horrendous at times, you couldn't pay me enough to clean up the mess some people must make.

In general I think they are paid to do their job, they agreed to the wage when they started, if it's not good enough for them they shouldn't have taken the job. If they don't like the job or the pay they could look for another job. No one is forcing them to work in that particular job.

I'm currently in the states and was told this afternoon at a fast food restaurant that a minimum of 15% tip was compulsory! Fast food! We literally took our food and drinks from the counter to the table ourselves! Outrageous!

I'm currently in the states and was told this afternoon at a fast food restaurant that a minimum of 15% tip was compulsory! Fast food! We literally took our food and drinks from the counter to the table ourselves! Outrageous!
Were they having you on?! I’ve never come any fast food ‘restaurant’ where you’d be expected to tip, especially not 15%. Sometimes they have that stupid iPad screen to pay where there are tip options but the options are usually $1 or $2. I’ve also never eaten anywhere where tipping is actually compulsory although of course it’s always expected here and 15-20% is the typical amount. Where was this??
(I live in Chicago and eat more fast food than I’d care to admit)

@ShinyButtons
The one exception I make is to tip hotel cleaners. I agree with you. I do tip taxi drivers too.