Should he pay childcare?

[roxhizsox]

I am a single mum with a 18 month d ds. I split up with his father when I was pregnant but we have a good relationship and he sees ds regularly.he pays money every week and probably more than he has to if we went to court which I won’t do as everything is good. I have recently started volunteering with a local charity, a lot of the work can be done from home but as I’m becoming more involved, it’s taking up more time. I hope to get a paid role at some time in the future but it’s not guaranteed. Here is my AIBU. I have asked my ds dad to pay towards childcare so I can continue to volunteer but he has said no. I think this is not fair as he can work whenever he wants without having to worry about childcare. Also volunteering is good for my self esteem and might lead to earning money. Should I keep asking him for money for childcare or AIBU?

Ex said no isn’t obligated to so irrelevant what anyone else thinks . I agree with the pp. don’t mess up what is working over money when he is already paying over the required amount.

Totally missing the point. If he is responsible for the child on those days, he could quite easily have them in the evening too.

No, you’re totally changing the point! We’re not talking about what could easily happen. We’re talking about NRPs having no responsibility to pay for their own childcare.

He pays for his childcare, you pay for yours. Presumably you don't work because that enables you to look after your child, so then wanting to put them in childcare anyway is your cost.

He pays for his childcare, you pay for yours.

Except he doesn’t pay for his childcare.

Presumably you don't work because that enables you to look after your child, so then wanting to put them in childcare anyway is your cost.

So sahps of young children should not only provide free childcare for non resident parent but when it comes time to return to work, pay for all the childcare themselves. How is that fair? Why are NRPs exempt from childcare costs?

So sahps of young children should not only provide free childcare for non resident parent but when it comes time to return to work, pay forallthe childcare themselves. How is that fair?

Would most resident parents be happy to split access 50:50? I imagine not...

I think YABU.

You've already he says he contributes more than he would legally be obliged to.

I think also, the childcare is needed during your time with DS so it is your responsibility to sort and pay for that.

That's not at all what I said. But presumably the OP could return to work should she choose?

But presumably the OP could return to work should she choose?

Isn’t that exactly what she’s trying to do? She volunteering in a role that will hopefully lead to an employed role. Volunteer work that she can fit in around her child will be a plus on her CV when she is applying for paid roles. Her NRP ex chose To work, but gets to choose not to pay for childcare. Why the double standard?