To be annoyed at DH?

[Drivenmad80]

We were all out playing with the kids in the garden with some friends. The children had been making water balloons so there was a little bit left in the thing you use to fill them. I playfully squirted it at him and a tiny bit hit his leg. He got really mad. Later on I was sitting down and he purposely threw a ball at me (revenge for the water) it hit me on the side of the head and it actually really hurt me. So I said ow and that hurt and the rest. What bothers me is that instead of just apologising for hurting me he just goes off on one about he didn't throw it that hard and why am I so angry. One of the things we try and teach our DC is even if you didn't mean to hurt some one you apologise. Surely a grown man can do the same!! Grrrrrr

The difference is that he threw a fairly solid object at you whereas a squirt of water on a day of good weather (it was pretty warm here earlier on) will not do any harm. DH and I have often squirted each other around the garden like this.

Sports injuries do occur when people's heads come into contact with balls, even though footballers do header them. He shouldn't have done it.

yanbu. he sounds like fun...Not!

What bothers me is that instead of just apologising for hurting me he just goes off on one about he didn't throw it that hard and why am I so angry

Ah yes OP. This loosely translates as:

"You offended my sense of masculine dignity with the water squirt, & instead of growing a sense of humour I have chosen revenge. My revenge was OTT, but instead of admitting that, I am going to blame you for feeling pain, & will now make my point even more strongly by denying the force of my action & going off in an angry sulk."

Hope he's feeling more human when he's finished boiling his head.

Thanks for replies. He's currently not speaking to me because of how I spoke to him in front of our friends. I called him an absolute dick. Not my finest moment but I was shocked as it really hurt!! There's an actual lump on my head and he's still saying I'm overreacting and he didn't throw it that hard. I'm his wife and I'm telling him he really hurt me so why isn't that enough??

Because he's a dick.

Because he's an ae?

He sounds bloody horrible and you are not angry enough. He decided to hurt you on purpose as a punishment - it wasn’t accidental, he threw something at you with force in retaliation for a transgression on your part. Is this typical behaviour?

Well he was being a dick so he can't be that surprised that you reacted like that.

What did your friends say?

Wow. He deliberately hurt you. He was being a dick!

I would day that the squirt of water thing is only fun if you both are laughing though, so I possibly would have apologised if it was misplaced and he didn't like it.

Obviously now he's decided it is ok to start being physically abusive I would not apologies ever!

So you squirted him with water and he’s purposely attacked you by throwing something at you in order to hurt you. What an abusive dick.

If you call someone a dick in front of others he’s not going to apologise is he
But he was unreasonable to hurt you to start with

Sorry, he threw an object at you so hard that you have a lump on your head, and somehow you are the one in the wrong? I don’t fucking think so, sunshine.

Incredibly poor decision on his part and I would be seriously considering whether I wanted to be in a relationship with someone who deliberately hurt me and then tried to gaslight me that it wasn’t that serious

What a fuckwit

Dick

Sorry pressed send too soon. YANBU

Has he seen the lump on your head? How does he equate that with you overreacting?

Annoyed? That’s an under-reaction if ever there was one.
Is he usually an abusive arsehole or is this a new fun thing?

I’d sit in the main room with an ice pack ostentatiously held to my head injury. Make the kids bring you treats, drinks and a hand drawn ‘feel better soon’ card. Keep it up for a couple of days.

Wait for a proper apology, from your seperate bed. Dignified silence till then.

Yes ice pack.

What a dickhead. Silent treatment to get you to make the apology.

YANBU at all.

@NearlyGranny arsehole -we're all grown ups no need for ***

OP did you apologise for squirting him? Ok it didn't hurt but not everyone wants to get wet. HIBU for sulking and throwing a ball at you hard enough to cause a bump. I was going to say YABU for calling him an absolute dick in front of friends, but to be honest I would have said something similar, and possibly more offensive. Also he is being a dick.

What a twat.

He's a dick.

He was violent towards you. And hurt you.

Aaarrrgh it’s so depressing reading thread after thread from women struggling with absolute nasty abusive arseholes, struggling to accept how bad they are!

He’s a dick, he was violent, he hurt you physically, he is now sulking. Get the fuck rid of him.

So you squirted him with water in front of his friends and it embarrassed him? And he retaliated by forcefully directing a ball at your head, in front of his friends?

I think the behaviour he should be concerned about is his own, not yours. What a prick.