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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I am offended. (ok rabbit, yes, petty, self indulgent etc)

118 replies

Boco · 10/08/2007 22:08

Well not really that offended. A little taken aback. Too tired for actual offense.

So, Dp has a friend he hasn't seen for a couple of years come to stay. They were flat mates before i met dp, they have lots and lots of hilarious anecdotes that are mostly about special brew, falling asleep in skips, Ralph Maggio, stuff like that.

Lovely dinner tonight - but children a little excited. dd1 did talk about bogeys, was was a bit loud, and bossy. DD2 did prance through wearing my bra, while dd1 lay on the floor giggling hysterically, and then farted.

Apart from that it was going well, until he looked at me and said 'don't worry, i'm a teacher, i'm used to appalling children with parents who can't control them'.

I laughed. He didn't, he was really serious. They're only 2 and 5, they're just a bit noisy and giggly. And they think 'poo on my head' is a really really funny joke.

Are people going to come and tell me to get a grip and some perspective now then?

OP posts:

WendyWeber · 10/08/2007 22:47

wannabe:

littlelapin · 10/08/2007 22:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pan · 10/08/2007 22:51

just want some of Boco's cheesecake now. That's all.

fiddlemama · 10/08/2007 22:52

Wannabe, They're 5 and 2!!! Bogeys and Poo are hilarious when you're 5 and she didn't fart at the dinner table, she farted on the floor....... after giggling hysterically. And if he can't stand a 2 tear old climbing up for a cuddle, he can't like children very much. Wonder why he became a teacher?!!

Wonder if he farted in his skip?...........All that Special Brew!

fiddlemama · 10/08/2007 22:55

Grr.... two year old! (I swear these keys keep shuffling themselves )

LyraBelacqua · 10/08/2007 22:56

Wow, what a rude thing to say to your face and in your own home. He has no right to judge your children and then tell you how "appalling" they are.
I'd be very very if this happened to me.

MrsJohnCusack · 10/08/2007 22:56

what age does he teach?
maybe he is expecting too much from preschoolers?

Frizbe · 10/08/2007 22:58

Are you sure he's not got a weird dry sense of humour?

Original poster

Boco · 10/08/2007 23:49

I suppose he could have a weird dry sense of humour - but i think that involves saying it how it is. He teaches big kids, not used to small ones. Dd didn't mean to fart, she was just laughing too hard, and the unexpected fart made her laugh even more. That can happen to anyone really, couldn't it?

Feel a bit bad now - he came and looked over my shoulder as i was reading the replies and asked me about mumsnet. I think he just isn't good at talking to women as someone said. i'm going to be nice.

OP posts:

Pan · 10/08/2007 23:52

Be nice Boco. And condescend a little..if it's in your heart to...

ahundredtimes · 11/08/2007 00:00

Good plan. I think he just got it massively wrong.

He was a bit surprised to have them there (like Cod says) and when you're single is IS extraordinary the things children do - it is easy to forget that I think.

It came out wrong basically.

Don't make him another cheesecake though, unless he really proves himself worthy tomorrow.

Original poster

Boco · 11/08/2007 00:01

I can condescend, yes, and be nice, and patient with the socially odd.

OP posts:

BBBee · 11/08/2007 00:02

tosser

ELF1981 · 11/08/2007 00:03

'ffing 'anker

Clean your toilet with his toothbrush it will make you feel soooo better

Pan · 11/08/2007 00:04

..and save me some cheesecake...

Dior · 11/08/2007 00:04

Message withdrawn

BBBee · 11/08/2007 00:05

tosser meaning him not you boco.

I agree when you don't have them children can be a bit annoying and irritating but to be a sanctimonous smug git is hardly supportive.

I think he probably was hoping that him and dp would have a good old times like the old days and he is getting all knickers in a twist because it is no t the way he thgouth.

Rise above it and then next time they are telling a funny skip story laugh so hard you fart.

WendyWeber · 11/08/2007 00:05

But if it was someone's aged parents behaving oddly (as they do, and as I fully intend to in due course) would he have said "I'm used to appalling parents whose children can't control them"?

Be saintly, boco dear.

EscapeFrom · 11/08/2007 00:05

Now then - culd he have meant "Don't worry, I'm used to appalling children whose parents can't control them"... with an unsaid and presumed instantly realised ... "So yours certainly aren't going to bug me as they are nothing like that!"

EscapeFrom · 11/08/2007 00:07

Because that's the way I would have taken it, boco.

ahundredtimes · 11/08/2007 00:07

But he didn't think he was being a sancitmonious git you see.

He wanted to be with his mate drinking and talking about skips, and he was annoyed they were there. So he said that, but it came out a bit strong. And then later he felt guilty about it.

Boco's had this before. Single friend houseguests do not make for the best weekend.

pointydog · 11/08/2007 00:08

He's over controlling and entrenched in a bachelor life.

Be sweetness and light but tell dp to take his marvellous mate out of your face next time - they can go to restaurant/pub together.

NadineBaggott · 11/08/2007 00:09

he's a teacher?

what did dh say?

(please don't say 'he didn't really mean it')

unknownrebelbang · 11/08/2007 00:09

Was it Boco who had the friend she thought she may have passed nits on to?

Or am I thinking of someone else?

NadineBaggott · 11/08/2007 00:10

you know its a bit crap when you come to a thread late, can't be arsed reading 98 posts and have probably missed everything

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