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Original poster

To ask what 12 year old boys do if they don’t game

72 replies

Somethingsosimple · 21/09/2019 07:55

We have decided to take our sons Xbox (year 8 at school) away for a while because he is becoming quite obsessed and withdrawn. I know it is a way of communicating with mates but I feel like he needs a break. He plays badminton and table tennis out of school but we live in a rural area so he needs lifts to visit friends. I’m always happy for him to have friends over but wonder what they would do if there is no gaming. I so miss the days of Lego etc. When he has friend over we usually drop them off at the cinema or bowling but when they come to our house afterwards gaming is usually involved. Anyone got any other suggestions or aibu to remove his xbox. At the moment I feel like i wish we had never bought it.

OP posts:
PutOnYourDamnSocks · 21/09/2019 08:01

Things my 12 year old does when not gaming.

Lego technic, Programming (Sphero) or hour of code,Walks the dog, Reads books, Cooks, music practice and whines at me to be allowed back on the Xbox.😉

Metempsychosis · 21/09/2019 08:04

Read, build Lego, make computer animations or film Lego stop motion films on a smartphone (either of the last two can drift into gaming if not supervised though). Paint warhammer models. Cook/bake.

RoyalChocolat · 21/09/2019 08:04

My 12-year-old plays the guitar and is into speedcubing (that's Rubik's cube for us mere mortals).

WaterSheep · 21/09/2019 08:04

I think you'll struggle to keep them busy and stop them asking for the XBox. Also anything you offer will be more expensive, and require more input and effort. However, here are a few ideas

Den building
Nerf guns
Science experiments
Lego with power functions to create moving parts

Metempsychosis · 21/09/2019 08:05

Oh, and draw comic strips.

PutOnYourDamnSocks · 21/09/2019 08:05

So I don’t allowing gaming before 17:00 provided all homework and music practice is done.

I think it is probably a little mean of me but DC1 is very obsessive in what he does and so wouldn’t develop any other interest if he was allowed to game whenever he fancied.

It works well for us, DC1 gets why, he still gets about 3 hours (with a break for dinner) to play it at the weekend - which I think is enough.

OhioOhioOhio · 21/09/2019 08:06

Omg. This is worrying. I have, so far, avoided the gaming. I guess real life will be expensive.

EdersonsSmileyTattoo · 21/09/2019 08:07

Following this with interest as we have just removed DS Xbox permanently (it’s actually DH’s but was in DS bedroom).

He has football training three nights a week, tennis training once a week, he enjoys cooking and baking with me, during the holidays he comes to the community project that I volunteer at and helps out, he also goes to the gym and swimming and sees his friends.

He’s a different, and dare I say it, nicer child without that Xbox, no more ranting and raving and banging things about anymore!

Mintjulia · 21/09/2019 08:09

Cycle on the common, play chess, read, build dens in the woods ( this summer’s obsession), make pizza, walk the dog, climb the local big hill with his friend. Eat Smile

00100001 · 21/09/2019 08:11

Read
Cook
Fishing
Out on bike/skates
Football
Draw
Painting
Making models
Lego
Listen to music
Watch TV
Puzzles
Board Games/Pokémon type card games
Swimming

CecilyP · 21/09/2019 08:12

To some extent, your problem is isolation rather than gaming. Does he have no local friends that he can go out and about with? It seems like all other activities have to be planned and organised and that gaming is the only thing he can do indoors on his own.

flowery · 21/09/2019 08:17

We don’t have an Xbox or anything. DS1 plays games on his phone at weekends and is also allowed his phone while on the bus to and from school. Otherwise during the week our sons have no screen time. (This is a new rule for us this term and I am now absolutely evangelical about it. The transformation in their behaviour is incredible.)

So during the week with no screens, DS1 will do music practice, homework, play football in the garden, do some of our Lego Hogwarts we currently have on the go, read, play games.

DtPeabodysLoosePants · 21/09/2019 08:22

Good on you OP! At that age we were out exploring the woods, playing on bikes, taking it in turns to choose a 7" single to put on my older brothers turntableGrin, watching a film, making homemade pizza, baking, making tapes of our favourite songs, board games, cards (I used to play solitaire loads age 14 and played rummy with my dad from age 8 or so), domino rallies, dens, obstacle courses.

There's no imagination now as most kids seem to think free time equals screen time. It's sad. Childhood is so short and they are missing it.

Milicentbystander72 · 21/09/2019 08:29

I think I may have the one if the only 12 yr old boys in the U.K. who does not gave an Xbox or PlayStation and has never asked for one.

Believe me, I have nothing against gaming at all. All his friend do it. He plays on them when he visits, enjoys it etc. It's just when I ask if he'd like one himself he just goes 'meh'.
At times it has put him off inviting his friends round because he can't offer them a game. He goes round to theirs. My ds is very protective of his own space and his own room so I'm not sure if he likes it this way.

My ds spends hours playing with Lego, making comics, drawing and making small animations on his phone. He loves watching comedy sketches in YouTube. Out of school he does Drama and Scouts which keep him busy.

2cats2many · 21/09/2019 08:30

My son isn't allowed any gaming during the week. He reads, draws, makes origami, walks the dogs, practices his musical instruments, plays Lego, watches TV, chats to me, rides his bike. That kind of thing.

SweetSummerchild · 21/09/2019 08:34

Mountain biking. That’s all he wants to do - all day, every day.

We live on the outskirts of a town. DS and his friends usually arrange to meet up somewhere on their bikes and they then spend the day exploring the area and building dirt jumps. During the school holidays he would be out from about 10:30 until about 6. He has a debit card, so will sometimes buy his own lunch.

I can’t drive, so lifts anywhere are out of the question.

WaterSheep · 21/09/2019 08:35

At times it has put him off inviting his friends round because he can't offer them a game. He goes round to theirs

This is what I suspect will end up happening for the OPs son. Especially after the clocks go back. It's much easier to find things to interest a 12 year old on their own, but when it comes to their friends it's more difficult. I suspect they'll refuse to come over as they won't find it interesting without the console.

Neolara · 21/09/2019 08:36

Shoots his little sister with nerf guns.

ForalltheSaints · 21/09/2019 08:37

Well done for removing his xBox. If you have a dog, walking the dog seems a very good idea, reading is another definitely.

Tilltheendoftheline · 21/09/2019 08:41

OP, your son will just end up going round to his friends all the time.

I donr find removing games consoles, completely is a good idea. I think limiting it is.

But I have 2 one almost and adult one a bit younger than 12.

The younger doesnt game that much. But the older one ( at this age) would help cook dinner, walk the dog, watch a movie, play lego with the younger one. Go visit friends of family, go to the cinema with friends and played rugby 2 nights a week and one weekend morning.

Danglingmod · 21/09/2019 08:41

My ds doesn't game (never has). At 12 ( and still now at 18) he would spend his time reading, drawing, writing, lego, going for a walk and taking photos, watching TV (mostly documentaries or box sets), spending time with us, then obviously studying for school and doing chores.

Danglingmod · 21/09/2019 08:42

Oh and scouts.

Tilltheendoftheline · 21/09/2019 08:42

Shoots his little sister with nerf guns.

Yes this was another one. Take out the nerf guns with the younger one and run around the park with them, that's at the front of the house.

ILiveInSalemsLot · 21/09/2019 08:45

My ds friend organised a pizza and board game session. Ds came home having really enjoyed it asking if we could buy some board games.
It was a game about a virus or something.

My dcs are used to our no xbox rule now and always find something else to do. Homework, chores, music, tv, plus football and scouts.

Morgan12 · 21/09/2019 08:48

Taking it away is a bit extreme. Limiting would be better. I know too much screen time is bad etc but its 2019 and this is how the kids communicate these days. All his friends will be online and he will be left out. That also can't be good for him.