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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what 12 year old boys do if they don’t game

72 replies

Somethingsosimple · 21/09/2019 07:55

We have decided to take our sons Xbox (year 8 at school) away for a while because he is becoming quite obsessed and withdrawn. I know it is a way of communicating with mates but I feel like he needs a break. He plays badminton and table tennis out of school but we live in a rural area so he needs lifts to visit friends. I’m always happy for him to have friends over but wonder what they would do if there is no gaming. I so miss the days of Lego etc. When he has friend over we usually drop them off at the cinema or bowling but when they come to our house afterwards gaming is usually involved. Anyone got any other suggestions or aibu to remove his xbox. At the moment I feel like i wish we had never bought it.

OP posts:
Hopesorfears · 21/09/2019 11:59

I have to say the presence of another dc of a similar age and interests in the house must help enormously.
I have two but the younger one is still very into young child toys and the 12 year old would not partake of these at all.

WaterSheep · 21/09/2019 11:59

There's never been any gaming here either. My 12 year old does word searches, knits & reads voraciously

That's brilliant, but these are more solitary pursuits and would be difficult to do with friends.

FaFoutis · 21/09/2019 12:08

does word searches, knits & reads voraciously

Is this child happy at school?

MrsCalypsoGrant · 21/09/2019 12:26

Very happy at a great school. He & his friends like to be out in the fresh air, when he's at home he plays with his sibling, or the dog, or chats to us, or does the aforementioned activities

FaFoutis · 21/09/2019 12:48

I suppose it depends on the friends being similar.

Danglingmod · 21/09/2019 17:01

Why would that poster's child be unhappy at school? Hmm Weird question.

sadwithkiddies · 21/09/2019 18:13

I am struggling now to limit screen time in general. Boys 14 and 12...no phones as school doesn't allow.
But the constant request for tv or computer is driving me mad.
14 yr old plays a lot of lego
12 yr old moans a lot about boredom...but will play board games.
Neither can go out alone due to their disability....but will scooter up and down if I stand and watch...

No idea how to amuse them...but the screens are not helping behaviour....they are becoming obsessed sadly.

Think I may return to weekends only after reading this thread!

ILiveInSalemsLot · 29/09/2019 15:31

Thanks OrigamiWarrior for the Forbidden Island recommendation.
We really enjoyed that.
It’s a bit more complicated to figure out than the rolling the dice and move squares that I’m used to but thank goodness for YouTube instructions Smile

HoomanMoomin · 29/09/2019 15:33

My 14 year old eats, sleeps, rolls his eyes and groans. Hmm

mummmy2017 · 29/09/2019 15:34

Tell them to go out and play.
Skateboards, bike, cricket, football.
All the things your husband did as a child.

hoxtonbabe · 29/09/2019 15:46

Every now and again mine asks for a PS and he gets the same response each time which is when you can afford to buy it yourself, then you can have one.

My eldest DS1 has a PS ( that he purchased himself) but my DS2 doesn’t badger him for it.

Mon-fri he is allowed 1.5 hours per day of phone time after which the whole thing gets locked accept for calls to and from me/DS1 and 999. He tends to amuse himself with Warhammer,Lego, and his guitar, although we are currently looking for a child friendly warhammer club for him to join as they do not do it at his current school.

AdelaideK · 29/09/2019 15:51

Mine goes out on his bike, chats and argues with his older brother, plays Lego, plays board games with us, goes on the trampoline, goes to scouts, watches television. He also loves films so watches a lot of them and makes up scripts.

AdelaideK · 29/09/2019 15:54

Mine does go on the PlayStation but he's allowed on set days. It's wed eve, Fri eve and Sat morning so there's no moaning at other times.

MonChatEstMagnifique · 29/09/2019 17:22

I don’t just think it’s better, I know it is. The difference is incredible. I don’t feel we’re being too harsh because we still allow it on the school bus, and at weekends, but during the week once they’re home, that’s it, and it’s amazing. They take more care with their homework, they are a lot less stroppy and short-tempered, their general attitude is better, they are more pleasant to be around, they interact better with each other and with us, they spend more time outside in the fresh air.

For your kids but all kids are different. Both my children manage to game and still behave well, do their homework/revision, interact with us and have time away from gaming to do other things.

TeddybearBaby · 29/09/2019 17:23

My 12 year old plays basket ball, football, goes on the trampoline.... he quite likes films and he’s discovered Louis Theroux. He watched his documentary on autism.

missyB1 · 29/09/2019 17:35

rides his bike
rollerskates
Watches airport / plane documentaries
admires (and plays with) his model plane collection
reads
bounces on his trampoline

Notquiteagandt · 30/09/2019 03:24

@FaFoutis Lara Spencer is that you?

Sorrybutyourewrong · 30/09/2019 03:48

11 yr old ds reads constantly. Also lego, plays out with friends, draws. Has iPad and plays minecraft and watches YouTube stuff at weekend mornings. I think with reading you need a constant supply of new books so we go the the library on a Saturday every few weeks and get heaps.

pinkstripeycat · 30/09/2019 04:57

When my ds friends come round they always go outside. Once they have their friends they’re not interested in tech

PhilCornwall1 · 30/09/2019 05:41

Our 12 year old is a busy chap for sure. He does have an Xbox and his laptop, but isn't welded to them. Things he does:

  1. Out with friends on his bike, down the beach or pier jumping if the weather is good and the tides in.
  2. Was on a sleep over on Saturday night, so they happen occasionally.
  3. Someone mentioned the Lego stop/go animations. He was doing this this weekend with his F1 Lego sets.
  4. He's busy spending his time making an Airfix lifeboat at the moment and spends hours at the dining room table building and painting (it's lovely to see this and occasionally help when he wants it).
  5. During the week he does after school clubs, fitness and engineering club. I want to do that one! They are building an electric F1 car and entering a competition. Also does Army Cadets and a kids club on a Friday evening.

Since being at Secondary School (year 8 now), his circle of friends has really grown. Very often at a weekend he's gone for the day. We always know what he's doing though and always "checks in" with us on his phone, even if it's a simple WhatsApp message.

We are amazed he has time for sleep.

FaFoutis · 30/09/2019 21:58

@Somethingsosimple
Please don't @ me with your nonsense.

Missingsandraohingreys · 30/09/2019 22:46

Lego
Pokemon cards
Reads Grin love it when he reads
Fights his brother
Eats
You tube
Skate park
Football
We don’t actually have much Xbox time but his happy place is screens and its very draining

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