To think raising a child was much easier for previous generations?

[wondering7777]

For my parents and certainly my grandparents’ generation, bringing up children must have been so much easier.

Mortgages were a hell of a lot cheaper for starters, but now the average home costs something like ten times the average salary. As a result, in most cases both parents have to go out to work whether they want to or not, and pay extortionate childcare costs to keep a roof over their heads. In the “old days” mothers were far more likely to be able to take time off work and the family could pay the mortgage on one salary.

In addition, my grandparents’ generation were much more likely to have family living nearby and a more close-knit community to help raise the child.

Judging from what I read on Mumsnet, there’s also a lot of competitive parenting these days, and a lot of parents feel they have to put their child at the centre of their universe, which causes stress. Children from my grandparents’ era were left to their own devices and would play out for hours.

There was no technology then so no angst about children accessing the internet and the reams of inappropriate content that is readily available at the click of a button.

Uni was free so parents didn’t have to save up to send those kids who did go, and jobs were far more readily available when children left school.

Also, the cartoons were better

AIBU?

yep. let them play out all day, wallop them now and then. No regard for nutrition (boil the hell out of veg) no regard for safety (terrible cars, no car seats) No regard for emotional wellbeing. One parent could be at home, better lifestyle and bigger house on less money... etc.

Are you serious? Had my first baby in 1987. Mortgages rates increased to hugelyand our mortgage tripled we nearly lost our home twice. The choice today are amazing. But I do feel v sad when i see welparents on their phones constantly instead of talking to their children. And all the horrendous freely available internet porn. I think porn is having a hugely negative affect on life

Houses were cheaper? How ignorant! Salaries were also a lot lower. It's all relative. I'm one of 6. My mum had no washing machine. Sheets were trampled in the bath. Get real. Deal with it.

There are some whopping generalisations going on here .

God no. My Nana had a disabled child, they didn't know what his problem was. Just that he didn't progress. He couldn't walk or talk etc. (( Probably cerebral palsy ))

He received no medical care for his health needs, she was advised to put him in a home and shunned by some because she refused. He had no therapies, no special equipment other than the little, wooden cart my grandad made for him so he could be pulled up and down the street by his siblings, the wind on his face would make him laugh so they'd run up and down for hours...... He had no financial support like we have now and I've received for my own DC who have SN.

. He died aged 5 when she was giving him a bath one night, they never knew what was going on inside but I'm guessing his heart gave out.

No grief counseling for her or her children. He was buried in a paupers grave as there wasn't the money for a proper burial.

I do think people were kinder then, his death broke my Nana and she used to take little boys home from the park and say they were hers. The other mums would just go round and collect their kids and that would be that. I don't think she'd be treated with the same kindness now. It's more likely people would be whipping each other up into a frenzy on social media and organising a baying mob.

Of course salaries were lower but property was still affordable to the working classes. DH gf was able to buy a house in west London in the 1930s on a skilled working class salary.

Housing was comparatively cheaper, and perhaps more importantly, rentals more secure. My parents generation largely rented from the council (70s) then bought those properties at reduced prices (80s). On the other hand food, clothes, electronic goods were all more expensive. We grew up with a rented TV because buying one was beyond the means of our parents until we were maybe 8 and 10.

Central heating was much less common. Far fewer people had access to a car. Holidays abroad were an expensive luxury beyond the reach of most. Oh, and violence was much more prevalent than today which wasn't great.

Swings and roundabouts really.

Well let’s see...

Before ultrasounds were available my twins would likely have died. The rare endocrine disorder DT2 had wouldn’t have been treatable. It’s very unlikely their ASD would have been diagnosed and I would likely have been blamed for it anyway.

I’ll stick with now, thanks.

It’s very unlikely their ASD would have been diagnosed and I would likely have been blamed for it anyway.

This would apply for me too. My sons would have been considered naughty or badly behaved, wilfully ignorant, slow learners, etc. I'd probably be advised they need a good hiding, a firm hand, to lock them in their rooms at night so they stay in bed (actual advice given by the HV to our neighbour when I was a child and her son didn't stay in bed!) and so on.

Houses were cheaper? How ignorant! Salaries were also a lot lower.

I think you're the ignorant one in this instance unfortunately. I'm sorry but no one will be able to convince me that it was harder/more expensive to buy a house for my parents' generation than mine. Because it's total and utter rubbish!

The average house prices were still ten times salary then. I am a grandmother in my sixties. My first monthly salary was £50 and my first house cost £16,000 so it was all relative!

I think some people are getting hung up on the fact that baby boomers could get on the housing ladder more easily and could find good jobs with fewer qualifications, and children played out and weren't ferried to as many activities. On the other hand medical treatments were less developed, if you had a child with ASD that was because you were a "refrigerator mother". Women's rights were less developed. It was considered your job to keep the family together in all circumstances. Police didn't respond to domestics etc. Further back a majority of people lived in overcrowded poverty and a proportion of your children would die in infancy ( you would likely have a large number). Doesn't sound easy to me. YABU