To ask if SAHM on benefits also have it hard

[Tryinghardereveryday]

I am not generalising, making assumptions or trying to offend.

This morning a was taking LO to nursery,
Which costs me a fortune. I am considered to have a good wage and I work FT. I own my own home.

A woman was walking her dog with her children. She lives in a council house, Her home is identical to mine.She’s single and doesn’t work. I am assuming she is in receipt of benefits.

I thought what’s the point of working so hard... I get limited time with DD whilst she gets to see her children full time. If I don’t work my home gets repossessed. I pay council tax, childcare fees and receive no financial help with anything.

Am I better off than those who have financial help? Does working FT provide me with a better lifestyle? This woman is not struggling. She also claims free childcare. A part from my annual holiday away (which I am grateful for) I don’t think I have anything more than she does and I don’t think that’s completely worth it.
The good thing about working is the contribution to my pension. But poorer older people also get additional assistance. Very few of us will get to pass inheritance to our children as our equity (anything above £23000) will possibly be used to pay for our care in old age.

I’m just feeling down and thinking what’s the point in working so hard. This is not an attack on this woman. It’s at the government, we live in a country where sometimes working does not pay for middle rate earners and we are constantly told it does.

Graphista Yes I agree with you there.

you dont want to be in her situation.when your living off nothing.you might go out for a walk.but the fear and dread in your stomach from the moment you wake over finance and secruity can be horrific.and it hovrs over every single part of your day.she might be walking the dog.it might be her only respite for the days worries.dont ever think someone on benefits has it better.the fear never goes.

A lot of people in work have money worries too. Mainly due to costly and insecure housing. Also 0 hours contracts.

How can you know someone spends every day in fear about money, and how can you possibly know that someone in work doesn't have that kind of fear too? I refuse to believe that everyone I see on the school run is living in fear, though I can easily see that some may be. Are the rich sahm living in fear that their dh leaves and they have nothing to go back to? You could say this about almost anyone. Walking the dog - I can't afford a dog as since I work I would have to pay dog walkers as well as food, vets etc and I can't manage that. Getting to be at home with dc until they went to school is a luxury I wish I'd had, and OP can't help but compare that part of her life with this mother she sees. It's the future that will be shakier, but 5 years with my dc would have been lovely. It would be better to improve childcare, flex working and general work life balance for everyone that making it such a stark choice between working and being at home.

I also live in the SE and my social housing rent is £880 per month. I’m just lucky it’s not more.
Actual council housing is nowadays very old and not in the best shape. The new houses you see that are HA are rent to people at 80% of the market value

Here, "affordable" rents are set at the LHA rate, so £237.?? for a 3-bed. The benefit cap is £384.62, so someone entitled to 3 bedrooms will be left with less than £150pw to cover everything bar their rent.

DP and I have no children and live in a 2-bed house with no mortgage. Our bills, plus food, come to the best part of £1k a month. Admittedly, this hypothetical benefits family will only have to pay 20% of their council tax, which will save them nearly £120 a month, and probably won't be paying out for car tax and insurance, but I still don't see how a family can have anything resembling a decent lifestyle on £150 a week before bills.

I agree that it's unfair that people with children are often worse off in work, but that's because wages are so bloody low, not because benefits are too high.

@DifficultSituation19

Please check the earnings limit for carers allowance. I have a horrible feeling your earnings might be above it.

www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/universal-credit-mum-left-898-20131233

"Universal Credit mum 'left with £8.98' loses High Court fight against the DWP
The ruling is a blow to almost 200,000 self-employed people on the benefit - who could have been affected if 34-year-old Charmaine Parkin had won her case"

How can you know someone spends every day in fear about money, and how can you possibly know that someone in work doesn't have that kind of fear too?

Oh, I know that plenty of people in work are just as strapped. I have a lovely colleague who earns around £24k a year. She privately rents a flat, which is £750 a month (not high for this area) and has to run a car as she is an essential car user. No kids.

She is just at the point where she doesn't quite qualify for any help with anything. She is constantly anxious in case her landlord wants to sell and she won't have the money for rent in advance, deposit and fees, or what the hell she will do if her elderly car fails its MOT or needs an uneconomic repair. She puts away £15 a month for the £150 the robbing letting agents charge when they issue a new tenancy each year.

But again, it's not because benefits are too high, it's because wages are too low, especially in the south where rents are so high. My colleague would get the same sort of wage for the same job if she lived somewhere where rents are half what they are here, but all her friends, family etc are in this area. And the competition for jobs in areas where housing is cheaper would probably be much stiffer, as there are fewer of them.

@Mackerz raised a great point regarding zero hour contracts. I was on one while at uni and they're absolutely shocking. Luckily it didn't matter so much if I was only working two nights a week because it meant I could study/socialise and I had a student loan anyway, but I can't even imagine the stress of having to rely on them. The management was atrocious- anyone could get fired at any time (aka we won't ever put you on the rota again), and they constantly flitted between giving you barely any shifts to live on so you had the worst pay day ever, or they worked you into the ground 6 days a week and then begged you to cover on your only day off.

I do not miss those days. Not one bit.

If I wasn't a student, I don't know what I would have done. They're the absolute worst way to live. Not one ounce of stability.

0 hours contracts have their place - mainly for people who do top up jobs whilst at Uni/college. They’ve always been around because they worked for both parties. The issue now is that they are so prevalent for adults trying to support a family.

It’s deliberate. They work for employers.

Have a look into Atkinson’s Flexible Firm.

It’s a 1984 model of employment. Very common now. Interestingly it came about during the 1980s when union power diminished. I’m derailing another thread.

HOWVER I KNOW THIS ISN'T THE CASE FOR EVERYONE BUT IT WAS PERSONALLY FOR ME A FEW YRS AGO

I was the same... between tax credits, child benefit & income support I was bringing in over £1,500 a month & getting full housing benefit for my £600pm 3 bed semi private let in a nice area so around £2,250 (inc the HB & CTB) as a single SAHM with £350 a month maintenance on top.

Working part time I was bringing in roughly the same but as a working full time single parent my income is £1,100 & I get around £350 per month in tax credits & child benefit... I now pay full rent (£370pm) & council tax (£92pm) for my 2 bed HA flat in a half decent area - with a huge drop in maintenance as he's had 3 other kids & shacked up with someone with 3 of their own.

While I'm glad I work as the benefits would have stopped eventually as the kids grow up I do sometimes wonder if it was worth it - no one should be financially worse off working full time than being on benefits irrespective of their family circumstances.

Absolutely, living on benefits should always make you worse off than working.

I can see why some people play the system when it doesn’t. Not blaming the players, I’m blaming the people who put this system in place.

Can we rephrase "benefit" as...."tax-payer hand outs"....which is what they are. I hear your pain and I feel it too.

Single (divorced) mum here. I can say things may not be as simple. I earn a goodish salary, work a stupid amount of hours, have a lovely house but... there was a time when I was unemployed and at that time I got the princely amount of... £24 a week in benefits.

We survived, because of my savings and the child maintenance my ex pays. But I admit to have spent 5 weeks sofa surfing because our boiler broke at some point and I couldn’t afford the repairs. Food wise, as long as there was enough food in the kitchen (and by that I mean a 60x40x30cm cabinet filled to half capacity) I was at peace. I stopped eating protein to ensure the little we could afford was consumed by DS, my health deteriorated to the point I had a foggy brain, a lot of cramps and could faint easily (everybody thought I looked great and I was spending hours in the gym... I was just hungry all the time).

We continued to have a social life, but we managed because we never went out to restaurants, the cinema, play areas, etc. We just spent a lot of time in parks or walks were we could bring a packed lunch. All our clothes came from charity shops, and stuff from the carboot or even skips.

I’m not sure if I was walking the dog or the dog was walking me. I found being out of work so depressive, staying at home all day was driving me crazy.

So don’t judge, you don’t know what struggles these women are going through and what efforts they are making to look as if they are living a dignified life.

"Absolutely, living on benefits should always make you worse off than working"

Family carers will be very touched by the sentiment im sure.

Ditto disabled people who cant work due to the nature of their disability or those who are ill.

I thought what’s the point of working so hard... I get limited time with DD whilst she gets to see her children full time. If I don’t work my home gets repossessed.

Well you're perfectly entitled to stop working and look after your DD if you want to. Assuming you sell your house, you would be entitled to claim benefits.

Our benefits system allows for one person to look after children who are under 5.

So it's totally up to you op. If you want more time with your DD then go for it. The choice is yours the same way it is hers.

Selling the house will not get you benefits, unless you are in negative equity. People in benefits are not allowed to have more than a relatively small amount in savings before benefits are discounted pound by pound.

People on benefits pay tax too, you know.

I don’t live in the uk. So not working would leave you much less secure housing options as although there is some welfare available, social housing is for the disabled only. So if unemployed you would have to share with people, you couldn’t afford to have your own home.

We are a 2 income household and only cover our living costs due to the high cost of living and I’m happy with that. I’m a little concerned for the future as I don’t think I will ever retire and as I don’t own a home I wouldn’t be able to rent if I didn’t earn. But I try to be calm and positive and maintain my friend and family connections as I most likely will have to share with them, whilst working part time if I am am able to (so help me god), when I enter my twilight years.

But in your situation I think I would stick it out and look at the positives within your own life as with brexit who knows how the welfare situation will fare?

Can I be honest, I'm a UC Claimant in full time employment and have been a sahm. I was better of not working. Even though it was tough but I didn't need to worry about childcare,extra petrol cost. Now that I'm in work, and with additional cost. I'm struggling. I privately rent and top up my rental with the help of HB. UC doesn't offer much,and the more I make The more they take. I've visited the food bank twice since starting work again this year. This is just my personal experience. But even though its hard, I take pride in the fact that I wake up each morning and make something of my life. Being an active participant in life. After all you can't profess to our children to follow their dreams if we ourselves aren't. You're in a better position actually, even if you don't see it now. All the best and keep your head up.

You need to be in work to get free childcare. It is an incentive used to get single mothers back into work when their child turns 3. SAHM’s with working husbands and a permanent home in social housing? It sounds great to be honest, and I’m not benefit bashing as I have been a single mother in a council flat myself. I’d love the security of having a ‘forever home’ and not having to worry about the LL selling up. I will never get social housing, despite living in a house with government categorised hazards, am pregnant with a 3yo and am being harassed/abused by my next door neighbours. This is private rent for £600 a month, the property has had these hazards during my entire 3 year tenancy. My LL has also tried to evict me since I got a EHO involved so every day I am waiting for that Section 21 to come through the door. My bedroom is pretty much uninhabitable due to black mould, damp and excessive cold (no insulation, cracked windows, attic room) so I have no idea where I will be able to sleep with a newborn. My bed will not fit in the other room and my daughter’s room is too small to legally class as a bedroom. It doesn’t even have a window! There’s no storage so I can’t rearrange anything to make it work. I look on social media and get quite upset at people I know who don’t work and get given a decent, large semi with a drive and big garden. Some even make goady posts with a picture of them and their baby in front of the door captioned ‘just got the keys to our new home!’. It really makes you feel like shit. I will more than likely end up homeless before my baby is born which I have been through before. Single mothers/fathers relying purely on benefits however do not have it easy, everything I’ve just said is aimed at couples and not single parents. If it’s a couple with children then the man is able to work

I certainly wasn't better off on full benefits. I got £60pw child tax credit, £70pw income support, £100 a week housing benefit and £20 a week child benefit. Total £250pw.

I work PT now. I get £175 a week wages, £135 a week working and child tax credits, £20 a week housing benefit and £20 a week child benefit. Total £350pw. So I am much better off working, albeit part time.

I'm not sure what the difference would be if I worked full time. I currently have no childcare costs as I am one of the lucky ones that found a school hours job.

Threads like this always end up bashing people on benefits.

@Acidburn I am a sahm. My baby is 8 months but, at three, I will be using the 15 hours. It will enable my child to socialise without me. Of course I might be back at work then, but no immediate plans.
Why shouldn't we claim it as a family? We get f**k all else... No child benefit, high tax bill etc. Also, I paid into the system for many years.