To opt for 2 embryos to be put back? (I want twins from IVF)

[AliceAbsolum]

34 years old. Trying for 4 years. 3rd and final cycle.

Dr in Cyprus is keen to put back 2 (if we even get 2) because I have never seen a whiff of a positive test.
I think they want their success rates to stay high (they report by pregnancy not live birth rates).

I've always opted for 1 before. But now I'm mulling it over I'm starting to think maybe it is worth the risks. Miscarriage rates are higher, babies in the NICU, health problems. 2 newborns! The financial and emotional impact... Its really scary. BUT people do it all the time don't they?
The thought of completing our family in one go just sounds amazing.

DH is concerned but happy to go along with what the Dr is saying.

Thoughts?

Very little sitting staring lovingly into their eyes, I was going to say - it's a lot more of having to be organised and find odd ways to get them both to sleep and stuff, it's not very relaxing, put it that way. Twin mums are the only people who welcome toddlerhood because it's easier than the baby stage

It would depend. At your age if you get 2 good quality blastocysts I wouldn’t.
If the embryos don’t look so good or you were older, I might.
Personally I was 34 when I had my treatment and SET was very strongly advised. I had one blastocyst put back and he’s now 7. I had placenta praevia (more common in ivf) which would have been even more risky with twins.

I had 3 frozen dodgy quality embryos put back 16 years ago. Resulted in twins at 39 weeks (6lbs 12 and 6 lbs 13) just coming up to 16th bday. Go for 2.

In your situation I probably would. I have a DS through IVF, single embryo transfer and it's HARD. Personally I would not want twins if I had a choice but realise it's potentially your last ditch attempt at having a child/children so would definitely consider 2.

With apologies to parents of twins, it wasn’t right for us

No apology needed! I would definitely not have opted for twins if I’d had any say in the matter - they are my whole world but it has been absolutely brutal. Of course we’ve had a different path than most given that both of ours have disabilities, and just having one disabled child would be hard enough.

Some of my friends with twins have had no concerns with either. Most have had at least some developmental delay, generally speech (not uncommon with twins, although that can mask actual issues). A fair few have neurodeveopmental issues, vision issues, mild CP, hip dysplasia, a couple have needed helmets etc.

I know two sets of twins that were born very early - one set is doing well although one of the them has needed multiple heart surgeries already. The other had hers via IVF and went into labour at 25 weeks - one twin spent almost 8 months in hospital and has profound disabilities.

I’m not trying to scaremonger or say that having twins inevitably means problems - in fact I know a few twins who are miles ahead of the curve, extremely advanced, doing great. But I’ve also seen the other side too and how hard it is to deal with when you have two at the same time when at least one has any kind of health or developmental issue. I constantly feel guilty that I can’t give either 100% of my focus which is what they need to thrive.

I realise this all sounds horribly depressing, I love my boys to death and am so glad I have them. But honestly even when I was pregnant with twins I don’t think I really grasped the risks, or the risks associated with prematurity.

I agree with @Cattenberg - there is a big difference between a 2-day embryo and a 5-day blastocyst. Don't make the decision until you know the quality of your embryos.

I had 2 put back twice on day 3, one singleton healthy baby and then healthy twins. 2 other cycles resulted in miscarriage (both blasts). Big decision but I'd listen to your Dr and as its your third cycle perhaps try something different. Very best of luck OP