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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To opt for 2 embryos to be put back? (I want twins from IVF)

82 replies

AliceAbsolum · 19/09/2019 20:33

34 years old. Trying for 4 years. 3rd and final cycle.

Dr in Cyprus is keen to put back 2 (if we even get 2) because I have never seen a whiff of a positive test.
I think they want their success rates to stay high (they report by pregnancy not live birth rates).

I've always opted for 1 before. But now I'm mulling it over I'm starting to think maybe it is worth the risks. Miscarriage rates are higher, babies in the NICU, health problems. 2 newborns! The financial and emotional impact... Its really scary. BUT people do it all the time don't they?
The thought of completing our family in one go just sounds amazing.

DH is concerned but happy to go along with what the Dr is saying.

Thoughts?

OP posts:

MuchTooTired · 19/09/2019 20:59

I had two put back, expecting one to stick if I was bloody lucky.

My DTs were born at 36+5 due to me having pre eclampsia, great weights and didn’t require any stay in scbu etc.

If you’re happy with the prospect of twins, I’d definitely have two put back. Good luck!

NoCauseRebel · 19/09/2019 21:01

Risk of premature birth with twins is higher anyway - even naturally conceived ones, although I do know that this is one of the reasons why UK clinics have largely changed their stance on this. In fact it used to be that they would put back three embrio’s, then it changed to two and now it’s generally one.

If this is your last cycle and you only have two embrio’s left then I would have both put back. You literally have nothing to lose here as if you don’t put them back you’ll be having them destroyed anyway presumably.

Yes the stats are worth having a look at but IMO not necessarily being a deciding factor. The chances of two embrio’s splitting into two sets of identacle twins is incredibly rare even if it is statistically higher.

My SIL had twins through IVF, they were born at 38 weeks and both healthy weights. And ironically there were two other sets of twins on the same ward, all born at term and one set weighed 9 and 10lb respectively. .

Just because something could happen doesn’t mean that it will. Weigh up the risks vs the potential possibilities and make your decision then.

heynow12 · 19/09/2019 21:02

I had 1 embryo transfer which resulted in my DD who is currently 7MO. I had the choice of transferring 2 but opted for 1 based on increased complications with twins. I'm so glad that I did because my DD was born at 27 weeks and spent 10 weeks in NICU. Had I opted for 2 and they had both taken I think the outcome could have been very different. I practically lived at the hospital and I saw sooo many twins in there with various health issues. The chance of having twins prematurely is high, I just think it's something to bare in mind. Just prepare yourself with the facts and statistics, that's my advice.

Butterfly02 · 19/09/2019 21:04

I had iui 2 eggs released discussed with drs they said let's go for it (5th attempt) my view was 1 baby is preferable to two (less risk), but 2 is better than none. I had healthy twins at 37 weeks, natural delivery, both 6lb + and home after two days.
Having twins is hard work, but worth it. The pregnancy was harder, I had to finish work earlier (was size of full term pregnancy at 20 weeks). Newborn twins were no problem, but 9 month old twins off in different directions were hard work and bad for my back! Twins are more costly - double pushchair, two car seats, double childcare but if you can go for it. Mine are the best of friends, always have a someone to play with, talk to and bounce off! Best wishes.

Original poster

AliceAbsolum · 19/09/2019 21:07

Ah such different opinions. Weighing up risks is so difficult.

OP posts:

EmJay19 · 19/09/2019 21:09

I was just like you, third cycle and dr suggested putting two in. Both me & DH were up for twins. 7 week scan showed 2 heartbeats although one was quite small. Had another scan couple of weeks later and the smaller one had caught up then 12 week scan showed smaller baby measuring 11 1/2 weeks with no heartbeat. I seriously wish I had kept my emmy safe in the freezer instead of putting it more at risk of failure in twin pregnancy. I do understand how you feel though so do whatever you think best. Best of luck xxx

AstridAsterson · 19/09/2019 21:18

Personally, I would.

And I'm not someone who would ever choose twins. But I'd give it a go.

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 19/09/2019 21:21

Really hard choice OP but I have twins and it is fine. DS was oxygen deprived and has some developmental issues but they are increasingly looking less and less serious so I would say do it. Twins are fab 😍😍

mrscee · 19/09/2019 21:22

I'd get 2 put back. I had a FET with donor eggs 10 years ago and my twins are currently 9 years old. The best and hardest thing I have ever done m.

Whatsername7 · 19/09/2019 21:26

Ive nothing useful to contribute. Good luck I hope you get the result you want x

Itsallpetetong · 19/09/2019 21:26

It was always 2 back when I had all my cycles.

I did have a twin pregnancy, lost one at 8 weeks. The surviving one is now my teen. If there had only been one back maybe my teen wouldn’t be here?
All the others were m/c around 6 weeks or bfns. I would do two again anytime.

A friend who had ivf around the same time also always two back had one child then (lucky her) twins but, out of the 7 people I know with IVF babies, who all had 2 back, she is the only one with twins.

Good luck

sleeveofstickers · 19/09/2019 21:28

I had 2 put back after 3 failed single embryo transfers and one stuck. I think the chance of twins is pretty low (or so I was told)

Okmama · 19/09/2019 21:32

Have you heard of the crozier quads? They’re bloody gorgeous, 4 girls. Mum had 2 eggs implanted & they both split resulting in 2 sets of identical twin girls. I love seeing her posts but not sure if cope! It’s a real risk. But personally, if it were me in your position on 3rd attempt it would be a no brained - id go with 2. Good luck!

thewalrus · 19/09/2019 21:35

I did IVF back when putting 2 back was standard practice in the UK (I think it changed shortly after).
I did two cycles like this - first one resulted in a single pregnancy. Tricky pregnancy initially with big bleeds around 12 weeks, then all straightforward, easy birth, healthy baby.
Second pregnancy resulted in twins. Tricky pregnancy with lots of bed rest but twins born at 38 weeks, no health problems. I know that makes us statistical outliers and very lucky.
It's such a difficult decision. I think you just have to go with your own instincts - you'll never know if the other decision would have had a better or worse outcome, so you have to go with what you'll be able to live with. I wish you a successful cycle whatever you decide.

Girlwhowearsglasses · 19/09/2019 21:39

OP I have twins
They aren’t IVF, but for what it’s worth:

Y experience of a pretty straightforward and complication-free twin pregnancy to term is that a) the human body is incredible and valiant and b) if there was any physical reason for your body to find it difficult to keep a pregnancy going, then to have two to deal with isn’t going to make your body any more able (quite the opposite).

Having two babies in your body is a lesson in the physics and biology of keeping a body going- double the volume of blood in your body for a start. For me it was a taste of being a very old lady who can’t walk far, breathe well, sleep, eat...

As I said I was very lucky with no real problems and babies to term - and

MissSmiley · 19/09/2019 21:45

I put three frozen ones back on my fifth go and got one baby, put two frozen ones on my 7th go and had one baby and then had two put back on my 9th go and got twins
Then two years later conceived naturally

Only you can decide how you feel about the risk

MissSmiley · 19/09/2019 21:46

Ps 5th cycle was 18 years ago!

Claphands · 19/09/2019 21:49

I was told ( in the UK) that putting 2 in doesn’t increase the chances of a successful pregnancy, my friend is also going to Cyprus to have IVF and they’ve suggested that they put 2 in to her.

bigfatmoggy · 19/09/2019 21:51

Yes - do!! We were told (Barcelona) that every embryo sends signals to the womb to make it ready to let them implant, and the more you put in the more likely you are to get a pregnancy. Obviously overall success depends on age and viability of the embryos etc.

My DH wanted all three put in but the Dr said he would never recommend doing anything that could result in more than twins - the medical profession are very anti apparently. Ours were graded so a 10 had a good chance of being viable and a 5 less so, etc. We had two 9s and an 8 I think - he said if we had had two 9s and a 3 he would have put all three in as the chance of a pregnancy would be increased but the third would would be very unlikely to develop. But we put in the two 9s and now have two lovely DTs.

So I do think if you get two, definitely go for it. Why wouldn't you want twins anyway? - built in playmates for life.... Good luck!

beckymum · 19/09/2019 21:54

When I was 34 and had had 2 failed IVF in Uk, I had 3 embryos put back (tx in Turkey) and had one gorgeous daughter. Then when she was 6 months I had 5 frozen embryos put back (ridiculous i know, but some were poor quality, and I didn't want to leave any behind) and BFN
Happily several naturally conceived babies since!

bigfatmoggy · 19/09/2019 21:57

Sorry - just re-read my previous post and it sounds as though I might have been up for risking triplets as per DH's suggestion! No way! (twins are fab although mine were a bit prem, but nothing to worry about - but I only have two hands! How does anyone manage with 3...?)

iolaus · 19/09/2019 21:58

I remember talking once with an embryologist

His opinion was if you have one embryo which is head and shoulders above the rest - just do that one

If you have no outstanding embryo but a few who are good put back two

Krazynights34 · 19/09/2019 22:01

I had 2 put in (my only IVF cycle). None took. BUT it’s very likely my DH and I have genetic issues as I had two miscarriages and now a (wonderful) seriously disabled child. I would have loved twins. Still think about it. I’d say go for it though maybe talk it through with your specialist if it is your last go. I should add I was 41 when I did mine..

RedPandaFluff · 19/09/2019 22:02

I'm with @Windydaysuponus and @rainylake - I believe that one embryo at a time will give you your best chance. There are studies that suggest the uterine lining will start to shed if there's a failing embryo (taking a successfully developing one with it). Also, so many variables have to be right in order for an embryo transfer to be successful - spread your bets.

I realise this is anecdotal, but I had three unsuccessful cycles where two embryos were transferred, then on my fourth cycle I had a single embryo transferred and I'm now 26 weeks pregnant.

Whatever you decide I wish you so much luck 💐

Krazynights34 · 19/09/2019 22:04

I should add I had loads of eggs collected for my age and 11 potential embryos- they took two highest grade embryos. I later conceived naturally (less than 3 months later). I’d do it all over again..

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