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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To opt for 2 embryos to be put back? (I want twins from IVF)

82 replies

AliceAbsolum · 19/09/2019 20:33

34 years old. Trying for 4 years. 3rd and final cycle.

Dr in Cyprus is keen to put back 2 (if we even get 2) because I have never seen a whiff of a positive test.
I think they want their success rates to stay high (they report by pregnancy not live birth rates).

I've always opted for 1 before. But now I'm mulling it over I'm starting to think maybe it is worth the risks. Miscarriage rates are higher, babies in the NICU, health problems. 2 newborns! The financial and emotional impact... Its really scary. BUT people do it all the time don't they?
The thought of completing our family in one go just sounds amazing.

DH is concerned but happy to go along with what the Dr is saying.

Thoughts?

OP posts:

Josephinebettany · 19/09/2019 22:06

I would do it

ElizabethG81 · 19/09/2019 22:27

I had 2 embryos put back on my 1st try, against doctor's advice and I had to sign a disclaimer. They were blastocysts and I was told that if I got pregnant there was a 60% chance of twins. I did get pregnant, it was twins, and they were born very healthy at 37 weeks, very good weights. Purely anecdotally, the women I know who've had easier twin pregnancies have been taller women, there was just more space for the babies to grow.

Twins are amazing, and they are also fucking hard work. As someone else has said, the very rare times you get to spend with one twin are an absolute doddle. They're more than double the work of a singleton, and also can't be compared to having two very close in age, IMO.

I read the One at a Time website prior to my decision to have 2 embryos put back and found it extremely one sided, you'd think no healthy twins are ever born. For me, it fails to acknowledge the emotions involved with infertility and doesn't recognise the reasons why people may go against the advice.

Sorry for the rambling, it's a mixed bag because there are risks involved and even if/when you carry healthy twins to term it is very hard. But, I'd do the same thing again in a heartbeat.

shesgrownhorns · 19/09/2019 22:32

No idea but good luck!!!

Yellowpolkadot · 19/09/2019 22:33

Preemie babies are scary, BUT if you have a good support network you don’t realise quite how terrifying until after everything has settled down. DD was a preemie and I look back now and wonder how we managed. But we did and a large part of that was down to our families pulling us through. If you’ve got a good support network work with the stats and do whatever is best for you❤️

SarahBeeney · 19/09/2019 22:35

A good friend has spent the last 6 years going through IVF. They definitely didn't want twins so only had one embryo put in. She was also told that putting in two does not increase the chances of success.

LadyLannister · 19/09/2019 22:36

Definitely have 2 put back OP. It’s not massively more risky carrying twins. We had ICSI, had 2 put back on first cycle and it failed, had 2 frozen embryos put back a few months later and ended up with twins.
Carried them until 37.5 weeks when I was induced, both brilliant weights, not that hard looking after 2 babies at once when that is all you’re used to. They’re absolute joys and I’m so glad I had 2 embryos put back. Good luck with whatever you decide.

eurochick · 19/09/2019 22:38

I'd trust the U.K. hfea on this. They recommend one in all but a few extreme circumstances. I had for ivf cycles. I only ever wanted one put back. On my second cycle we were convinced to have two poor quality embies transferred. I was terrified through that tww and relieved when it didn't work. I'd seen my bestie struggle through a twin pregnancy (also ivf - a single embryo that split) and knew I didn't want to put myself through that.

IceCreamConewithaflake · 19/09/2019 22:41

There is quite a high chance of identical twins from IVF anyway as it's more common for the blastocyst to divide. Put 2 back and you might end up with triplets or quads! Put one back and you might end up with identical twins!
I think nowadays antenatal care is very good and if you did end up with twins there is a very good chance of a positive outcome.

sweetheartyparty · 19/09/2019 22:47

I had 2 put back and wish I hadn't. I have a healthy DD but miscarrying the twin was a frightening and anxious time.
I often think that the other embryo might've survived if it was not competing.
Good luck with what you decide

ElizabethG81 · 19/09/2019 22:58

While there is a greater risk of identical twins after IVF, the overall risk of a multiple pregnancy following a single embryo transfer is about 1.6% (compared to 0.4% in "natural" conception). While triplets and quads do sometimes happen following a double transfer, the odds are low.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 19/09/2019 22:58

I know someone who had two embryos put back and ended up with triplets.

Hennysmommy · 19/09/2019 23:10

I always have 2 put back.. shitty embryos that don't get to Blastocyst. I have had one live birth 5 yrs ago and will testing tomorrow after current frozen embryos transfer it's been a every long two week wait. I would always recommend 2 transfer as you cant guarantee both or one will take. Good luck what ever you decide.

AlliKaneErikson · 19/09/2019 23:13

I had two put back (back in 2006-that was the norm then but I think things have changed a bit since then) and one went on to be a very healthy baby (now 12!). Sending good wishes your way!!

Osirus · 19/09/2019 23:18

I was 33 when I had IVF in the UK. They put two back in, and got pregnant with one baby. I would opt for two again; if we hadn’t chosen two, I may not have my baby girl.

YoMummaWasASnowblower · 19/09/2019 23:23

We had two good quality FET put back in (UK). Both took and one didn't develop. We had a gorgeous healthy baby. Previous attempts were more cautious and unsuccessful. There was no history of twins in our family (relevant to risk of one/both embryos splitting). We were happy to risk twins if that was the outcome. Now we are so fortunate to have one child, if we went through it again with one of our stored embryos, I'd only have one at a time even though we have lots of good quality.

YoMummaWasASnowblower · 19/09/2019 23:25

Same as pp if we had put one back and it was the one that failed to develop, we wouldn't have our child. So anecdotally it was right for us. Statistically I think your chances are slightly lowered by putting more than one in but I'm not sure about the science behind it.

flumposie · 19/09/2019 23:45

Go for it. I had 2 embryos and one became my daughter.

Cattenberg · 19/09/2019 23:53

I think the chance of twins would vary depending on whether you had two early stage embryos or two blastocysts. I’d ask the doctor about this. I had blastocysts and was strongly advised to have the best one transferred and the others frozen. The embryologist told me that transferring two would only slightly increase my chances of pregnancy, but would greatly increase the chance of a multiple pregnancy.

Although I’d like two children, I’d be wary about a twin pregnancy because I know the added risks to mother and babies are real. I met a lesbian couple who had two twin pregnancies following fertility treatment. One ended happily. The other ended in the twins being born at twenty-something weeks and sadly, neither made it. I suspect that as the twins were born alive, they would appear in the clinic’s statistics as successful live births.

You’re right to do some reading now, even if you may not be able to make a final decision yet. I had to make my potentially huge decision when my bladder was full to bursting and I could barely concentrate enough to sign and date the consent form. Good luck, whatever you decide.

cinders15 · 20/09/2019 00:15

We had IVF at Hammersmith 21 years ago, and had 2 implanted as we had a very good result - it was recommended to us as it was very likely that the 2 may not go full term.
I was 39 at the time and tried for years.
At the first scan we saw 2 heartbeats and I was overjoyed and scared! At the second scan there was only one - upset st losing one, but willing the other one to hang on in there!!
She is now in her final year at Winchester university and I couldn't be prouder!!

Nat6999 · 20/09/2019 00:17

My brother & SIL had 2 embryos put back after a failed first attempt & had twins born at 35 weeks weighing 4lbs & 4lbs 5, only stayed in hospital just over a week, no special care needed. They are 12 now.

Teddybear45 · 20/09/2019 00:21

There is some evidence to suggest 2 embryos help each other (or the weaker helps the stronger) to implant. Everybody I know, including myself, who had a double transfer got a BFP. Mine was after 3 failed singleton transfers

Catsandchardonnay · 20/09/2019 00:24

Definitely go for it. If you’re happy with twins, it’s well worth the risk, but also quite likely not to be twins. The 2 times I had embryos of a good enough quality to give it a chance to work they put 2 back each time, and each time only one took. Good luck

hopefulhalf · 20/09/2019 06:12

I haven't had twins but have worked on SCBU. Twins are higher risk, having said that I have seen some lovely " ready made" families where they put 2 back and got 3 . If the most important thing is a healthy baby I would go for 1. Why is time running out if you are only 34 ?

PancakeAndKeith · 20/09/2019 06:22

I had one put back.
The slight extra chance of a pregnancy wasn’t worth the risk of twins to us. (With apologies to parents of twins, it wasn’t right for us)

toomuchtooold · 20/09/2019 06:25

You need to do some research and figure out which course of action gives you the best chance - there was a big review came out in 2012, don't know if there's anything more recent than that - and you need to consider whether you would be in a position to do a subsequent transfer from frozen, or is this the last time? What quality are the embryos? Get your doctor to explain why he wants to transfer two, check his assumptions are the same as yours.

For me, I had two transferred and I had twins - bit different for us, we did PGD for a chromosomal abnormality so everything else worked OK and we had two "excellent" quality embryos so they were pretty clear that it was going to be twins. There are increased risks with twins but the risks are still small - it's when you go up to triplets that it really becomes risky.

But yeah, twin babies isn't a walk in the park either. There's very little sitting

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