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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sapiosexual - AIBU to think this is bisexual by another name?

82 replies

Flippetydip · 19/09/2019 13:05

Apparently the new thing is sapiosexual - to be attracted to intelligence before gender. Surely that is just bisexual - why does it need another name?

OP posts:
Drogosnextwife · 19/09/2019 14:26

I want to know who is appointed the task of coming up with all these labels. It must be taking up a great deal of their time, whoever it is.

EagleVisionSquirrelWork · 19/09/2019 14:29

Is this the new definition of being a woman?

Original poster
Flippetydip · 19/09/2019 14:42

Sooooo many labels. I've no idea what I am other than bloody boring - married, 2 kids, dog. Is that a thing? I need to make myself appear for more interesting!

OP posts:
VladmirsPoutine · 19/09/2019 14:47

Suburban housewife? Though that might not suit you if you don't live in Suburbia, nor if you have a job. You might be able to get away with it if you have a white picket fence or indeed a driveway to your front door?

I'll consult with some 'woke' kids and get back to you by the end of the day!

MisunderstoodMaleficent · 19/09/2019 14:47

@flippertydip you could be commitmentsexual? Marriage, kids, dog and a home are all big commitments to make to someone.

WitsEnding · 19/09/2019 14:55

I'm very attracted to clever men regardless of looks/size/age, and had this on my dating profile for a while. I also specify a minimum education level equivalent to mine.

I believe it's a preference which doesn't take priority over sex/gender. The reason we need labels is because that's how dating profiles (or any profiling) works.

Chloemol · 19/09/2019 14:58

YABU to not understand what you are posting! Bi sexual is attraction to make and female and nothing to do with intelligence before gender

Purpleartichoke · 19/09/2019 14:58

It has nothing to do with gender.

When I these labels started, I found it funny that was the one that best matched me. I am only interested in highly intelligent, arrogant, men.

MisunderstoodMaleficent · 19/09/2019 15:00

Being attracted to intelligent people is a type not a sexuality though isn’t it? Is there a sexuality separate from gay/straight/bi for people attracted to blonde people/people with tattoos/people who are tall/people with Italian accents/people with muscles/people with peachy bums etc etc

MarshaBradyo · 19/09/2019 15:02

Ridiculous so you now need one for blondes, dark hair, height, any quality that you’re attracted to

Ferretyone · 19/09/2019 15:05

@FlaviaAlbia

Grin
verticality · 19/09/2019 15:09

It is a bit of a silly label! Smile

I do think it is a thing though. I will probably get flamed for this, but I genuinely don't feel attracted in that sexual way to people who aren't really intelligent and highly trained to use that intelligence in focused ways. (There IS such a thing as being highly intelligent and totally untrained - educational opportunities are often not meritocratic).

It's not that I don't appreciate other qualities: I actually believe that being intelligent is far less important than being kind, caring, giving to others etc. And most of my friends are people who aren't super intelligent, but are really fantastic in other ways. I'm just not attracted to them in that way as a partner. I feel guilty about this, but it is what it is.

Hedgehogblues · 19/09/2019 15:11

It's hardly knew, people have been labeling themselves it for at least twenty years

MisunderstoodMaleficent · 19/09/2019 15:11

@verticality - I don’t think you should be flamed for that, you can be attracted to whoever you want for any reason. I still think it is a type though and not a sexuality.

Hedgehogblues · 19/09/2019 15:12

new not knew

SapphireSeptember · 19/09/2019 15:14

Yeah, my friend was going on about 'coming out' as 'demisexual' the other day. Luckily it was on Facebook so she couldn't see how hard I was rolling my eyes. (It's someone who only becomes sexually attracted to someone they have a deep emotional connection with.)

I'm a holosexual! (Which I know used to come up as a different meaning to what it is now, but I can't find that definition anywhere anymore! Coined in the early 1900s I believe, but do you think I can remember who it was? Nope!)

JaneJeffer · 19/09/2019 15:19

people attracted to blonde people/people with tattoos/people who are tall/people with Italian accents/people with muscles/people with peachy bums etc etc
Aryansexual
Inkysexual
Howstheweatheruptheresexual
GInosexual
Popeyesexual
Bootysexual

Zaphodsotherhead · 19/09/2019 15:19

Would love at first sight be immediosexual?

verticality · 19/09/2019 15:20

@MisunderstoodMaleficent Yes, you're probably right about it being a type! I definitely don't feel the need for the label - it's something I'm embarrassed about and therefore not likely to want to talk about in anything other than an anonymous forum.

stucknoue · 19/09/2019 15:21

It just means to value their brains over their looks, can identify with that! I need someone I can talk to, my idea of a good weekend away is a book festival.

leaserspottedmummybird · 19/09/2019 15:22

I've never heard of this before 🙄🙄

easyandy101 · 19/09/2019 15:23

YABU to think it's got anything to do with gender

1forAll74 · 19/09/2019 15:23

Yes get a grip, and all put on a space ship,to some far distant planet.and see if the aliens will like all the crap speak.

JaneJeffer · 19/09/2019 15:24

It just means to value their brains over their looks like zombies do

species5618 · 19/09/2019 15:25

Mark Ronson has announced himself as sapiosexual .......... although he didn't know there was a word for it. The irony.