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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed about a baby name?!

61 replies

MintAeroBubbles · 18/09/2019 19:18

My friend just had a baby and for her whole pregnancy was disappointed she was having a girl so never thought of any baby names! I’m due in Jan with a girl and we chose her name a few weeks ago (via WhatsApp as my husband had a lightbulb moment at work!)

My friend has used this name and I’m really annoyed as she couldn’t be bothered to think of a name for a whole 9 months as it wasn’t a boy and now has chosen the very name I’ve chosen. Yes she didn’t know so it’s totally fluke but I’m hormonal and annoyed!

We aren’t that close as friends and have no common friends so no one would know they have the same name but as we live in the same road they are likely to go to the same school and be in the same class!

OP posts:
Applejack5 · 18/09/2019 19:21

YABU

I can see why it's annoying, but she didn't know you'd chosen that name.

SachaStark · 18/09/2019 19:21

It’s a shame.

If it were me, I’d either use the same name anyway, and just not worry about it. I’m a teacher, there are kids every year in every class who have the same name. It honestly doesn’t matter.

Or, I’d think of a similar name. What is the name? We could think of some suggestions.

FrancisCrawford · 18/09/2019 19:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Passthecherrycoke · 18/09/2019 19:23

I would totally use the name. Who cares if there are 2?

ColaFreezePop · 18/09/2019 19:23

They will probably go to the same infant school but one if you is very likely to move when one is in junior school or when they are secondary age, so don't worry about giving them the same name.

Incidentally my DD has the same name as about 100 girls born that year. There is a girl nearby who is a few months older with exactly the same name. They will unlikely be at the same school as we will be moving before then.

Original poster
MintAeroBubbles · 18/09/2019 19:27

We were thinking of just using the name anyway because why not, she’s been acting so unreasonable lately I doubt we’ll be friends much longer anyway!

She’s complained about her midwife as breastfeeding is taking a while to establish and she’s refusing to give the baby formula and the midwife has told her the baby is getting zero milk so she has to do something! I told her to bring formula just in case as not everything always goes to Plan, but she said she’d get it free at the NHS and refused to take any! I have no time for unreasonable twat-ish behaviour as I only had my son a year ago so do have some idea what I’m taking about! Sorry off subject just needed to rant

OP posts:
Original poster
MintAeroBubbles · 18/09/2019 19:28

Don’t really want to put the name in case she reads this lol! Doubt she will but could do without an arguement today! I have another name in mind but hubby doesn’t love it as much as this name!

OP posts:
vanillaicedtea · 18/09/2019 19:33

YABU to be annoyed, purely because you admit she had no way of knowing that you'd chosen that name, so you can't be annoyed at her because she didn't do it to spite you/out of laziness and wanted to copy. I'm not sure what 'her not being bothered to think of a name for a whole 9 months' has to do with it though; if you've only thought of your child's name, surely you also hadn't been bothered to think of your child's name for a whole 4 and a bit months? See what I mean? She probably was still trying to find a name throughout her pregnancy, but none stuck, and like your husband, had a light-bulb moment and was like "yes, I like that name! Finally!"

I understand it's irritating, and I'm sure if someone had chosen my DDs name while I was pregnant, I'd have been irrationally and hormonally livid, but if she's not a close friend I'd probably go ahead and use it anyway if you're set on it. If not, maybe this was the sign you needed to realise you actually aren't 100% set on the name and were settling due to having no other luck so far. You very may well find a name you love more Smile (I speak from experience, I thought we'd settled on a name for about 3 months and then we sat down and looked at names one more time, ended up choosing a different one and now we look back and can't even imagine calling her the first one).

Use it as a way to test whether the name you've chosen is the right one for your DD, or whether it's a gateway to finding something that suits better.

Soontobe60 · 18/09/2019 19:34

She's right about the breastfeeding issue!
If you weren't close as friends how do you know she didn't think of any names?
You're just pissed off that she has used a name you wanted. You come across as a bit mean.

ariamontgomery · 18/09/2019 19:36

YABU about the name and also to lecture your friend about her feeding choices and then get annoyed when she doesn’t take your unasked for advice! Hmm

Original poster
MintAeroBubbles · 18/09/2019 19:38

I’m not being mean at all. She’s always asking me for an opinion on something and then ignores it. She does it to everyone. It’s very grating!

OP posts:
vanillaicedtea · 18/09/2019 19:39

TBF, a fed baby is the most important thing. If BF isn't working and baby is literally starving, formula is much better than air. Sometimes things don't work out, but it's how you deal with them that's important. Maybe she'll be more reasonable once the anxiety about feeding has been fixed through BF picking up or changing to FF and realising she did the best she could.

BarrenFieldofFucks · 18/09/2019 19:39

I suspect your experience of one child doesn't hold much weight tbh. If her child ks is very young then she's right, she needs time to establish feeding. And let's be honest, that's absolutely none of your business.

Yabu about the name too.

siratcha · 18/09/2019 19:40

You sound like hard work. She probably didn't want your stupid, unsolicited advice on feeding.

Good on her for persevering.

Original poster
MintAeroBubbles · 18/09/2019 19:40

She asked me about taking formula into hospital hence why I told her to take some just in case! Wouldn’t bother giving this one any advice that wasn’t asked for!

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 18/09/2019 19:41

I agree that as she didn’t know you had picked that name, you can’t really be annoyed

Must be a popular name for two people to pick without any discussion

Russell19 · 18/09/2019 19:41

What does she mean by she will get formula on the NHS? In hospital? My best friend was in hospital after birth and struggled breastfeeding and the midwives told her there's a Tesco over the road!

Soubriquet · 18/09/2019 19:44

Different hospitals obviously have a different way

When I gave birth to dd, I had to bring in bottles but they supplied the formula. They wanted to see you sterilise the bottle and then make it up with the formula provided.

With a different hospital I had ds in, they provided ready made milk in little glass bottles with a latex teat. You could choose which brand of milk you wanted too as they had them all in

vanillaicedtea · 18/09/2019 19:45

@Russell19

In my hospital they had cartons of formula (SMA and Cow and Gate) available for mothers, as well as one use teats for each carton. You didn't have to bring anything else, you just had to ask and you got as many as you needed throughout the day. I think it was to take the stress away from people having to make up powdered feeds with their own stuff while mothers were recovering. Your poor best friend, that sounds awfully harsh!

SunshineCake · 18/09/2019 19:46

Just use the name. In my group a lady had her baby before I had mine and she named him my name choice. I thought I couldn't use the name then. Idiot. Years later I can't even remember her name. Glad I stuck to what dh and I had chosen.

boredboredboredboredbored · 18/09/2019 19:46

You aren't her friend it seems!

Windydaysuponus · 18/09/2019 19:47

Unless they will be in the same class at school then use the name...

MrsDimmond · 18/09/2019 19:48

Just checking if the baby was born before or after Aug 31st? In the hope that she might be in a different school year ....

Passthecherrycoke · 18/09/2019 19:50

That sounds a bit odd how did she know before she went into hospital that she’d have zero milk and new formula?

All seems quite unlikely no one has milk for the first few days and midwives wouldn’t allow a newborn to go without milk for a significant amount of time

Waxonwaxoff0 · 18/09/2019 19:50

YABU. That is all.