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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think threads are a bit different lately?!

150 replies

Treestreestrees · 18/09/2019 09:56

No idea how to put this

Long time user. Love Mumsnet for intelligent, considered, witty discussions. Genuinely has introduced me to new concepts and made me think of things in new lights.

In the last month or so, posters seem....well.....different. Can’t think how to put it without sounding condescending or offensive.

Anyone else noticed this? Am I going mad?

OP posts:
notso · 18/09/2019 12:29

As long as I have been on Mumsnet, which is a long time, there have been posts longing for the old days and moaning about how things have changed.

no42 · 18/09/2019 12:29

“there certainly isn’t the same no nonsense LTB mentality that we’re used to. “

Who cares.

TheMustressMhor · 18/09/2019 12:34

It's about due for a bun fight over bedding and towel washes.
That'll settle em

Or get the old toilet brush debate going again.

Thehagonthehill · 18/09/2019 12:34

I've noticed nastiness creep in.When a young girl gets called a vile bitch you have to wonder.
Vile is the in word and the nest of vipers have been deposed by baying hounds out for blood.
Some things don't change though and that's the way ability to read the OP posts.

NoSauce · 18/09/2019 12:36

It’s the online version of Take A Break. 🤯

Biancadelrioisback · 18/09/2019 12:37

I've noticed way more people trying to find creative ways of saying fuck, shit, ass, cunt etc.
Seeing a lot of f##k, sh*t, a$$, C-U next Tuesday.
The other day there was p-phile instead of pedophile.

Why are so many users worried about using their words? I know netmums banned swearing but come on.

Mythreeknights · 18/09/2019 12:38

What on earth is a 'hun'?? Who has time to come up with all these inside jokes? What's wrong with netmums?? I'm feeling so out of it. Why is MN so bitchy?

GlasshouseStoneThrower · 18/09/2019 12:42

It's been this way for as long as I've known it (a couple of years). 90% cruel and sanctimonious, 10% nuggets of decency that keep you hanging on.

I should really quit, would be better for my mental health. I'm another who is not sure why I'm still here!

TheMustressMhor · 18/09/2019 12:52

@Mythreeknights

What on earth is a "hun"?

www.dictionary.com/e/slang/hun/

PortiaCastis · 18/09/2019 12:54

Brexit political bots and journos seem to be rife, but sanctimony abounds !

CaMePlaitPas · 18/09/2019 13:10

There was a 'wanna' in a thread title yesterday.

Did it redeem itself with a zigazig ah?

That there is the reason I come to Mumsnet.

GinDaddy · 18/09/2019 13:14

"the type of poster giving advice has changed there certainly isn’t the same no nonsense LTB mentality that we’re used to"

...you mean it's become more nuanced and actual advice-driven?

I've noticed that when I've actually tried to help an OP with constructive measured advice, I get goaded and poked by the type who enjoyed Jeremy Kyle because it made them feel safe in their little corner of the world.

It's sad that people have enjoyed AIBU as a form of human bear baiting, or a cabal of head girl types who swear in what they think is a clever edgy way in order to identify themselves to other spectators as of the same tribe.

Andysbestadventure · 18/09/2019 13:47

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TheMustressMhor · 18/09/2019 13:48

This thread was only started at the end of August.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3680049-to-think-MN-is-being-infiltrated-by-Huns

GinDaddy · 18/09/2019 13:50

@andysbestadventure

Ugh... the snobbery on here is just Hmm

I read that post yesterday also. Sounds like someone who has a partner who may have mental health/addiction issues. Sounds like a woman who is at the end of her tether and has been driven to the wall. Who is emotionally vulnerable and comes on a forum asking for help

But you crack on, and take the piss because she doesn't express herself the same way as you, or isn't able to make the same decisions.

DoctorTwo · 18/09/2019 14:17

So basically it's gone downhill since common, low class people started infiltrating the boards?

Oi! I've been here ages. Wink :o

Treestreestrees · 18/09/2019 15:15

Ah i never saw that other thread!

OP posts:
30to50FeralHogs · 18/09/2019 15:17

...you mean it's become more nuanced and actual advice-driven?

No, I mean that previously the advice on a thread about a shitty husband would have gone along the lines of...

"What's in this relationship for you?"
"If you've tried talking to him and he won't change, you have to accept it or leave."
"The only acceptable level of abuse is zero" etc

Now we're getting "oh men, they're so silly, bless their cotton socks." and "mine's the same hun, so fed up with it, wish I'd left years ago" without the same drive to expect better that we felt in years gone by.

Maybe its because some of the most forthright posters are just bored or have compassion fatigue after years of telling women that they deserve to be treated better than this. What's noticeable is that the advice is, admittedly more diverse, but just less centred on women expecting and demanding to be respected and loved, and being encouraged to go it alone rather than put up with a shitty relationship.

I know people joke about all the LTBs that get handed out, but if it weren't for the no nonsense advice from prolific posters on the relationships board a few years back, I'd now be 'celebrating' 20 miserable years with my cold joy-sucking ex husband, rather than 7 with my wonderful partner.

I didn't realise I deserved better until some strong women with no skin in the game told me so.

30to50FeralHogs · 18/09/2019 15:18

And its not about class, its about attitude.

beethebee · 18/09/2019 15:31

YANBU OP Sad

Andysbestadventure · 18/09/2019 15:57

@GinDaddy that isn't snobbery.

Mumsnet appealed to a certain demographic, and also to those with a certain level of intelligence and that was it's appeal for most - that it wasn't nethuns!

I wouldn't tolerate or interact with people like that in real life, why would I online?

I came here or political debate, genuine discussion and fierce women who were able to bring something to the table.

That is no longer the norm with Mumsnet unless you search in deep, dark threads. It is totally diluted to the point the dailymail looks intelligent some days.

I'm wondering if they've all gone back to digital spy or reddit tbh, or some darkweb digital commune 😁

vodkaredbullgirl · 18/09/2019 16:01

Netmums is shit now it has changed.

Here its still the same as it has been for years.

TheMustressMhor · 18/09/2019 17:00

Netmums is shit now it has changed.

Was it not ever thus?

SilverySurfer · 18/09/2019 17:05

Yadid
Well this thread comes up an a quarterly basis, so nothing has changed as far as I can see.

If only it was quarterly, it's more like weekly. Nice to see the snobs have come out to play. Hmm

SistersOfMerci · 18/09/2019 17:07

There was a thread a couple of weeks ago about this.

The invasion of huns with their xxx, lols, hubs, babes etc on posts.

I see the same on fb groups. I'm in TOMM and Mrs Hinch's cleaning groups. To start with TOMM was like MN and Hinchers were like NM. Slowly the Hinchers have moved in to TOMM territory and it's completely different.

I'm more than happy to interact with anyone but keep your Zoflo, babes, I'll pm you hun and living my vest life shit away from me please.