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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Secret McDonalds with ex

75 replies

littletikes27 · 17/09/2019 22:33

Don't want to drip feed!!
Me and DP have a DD together and he has two DC from a previous relationship.

Me and Ex do not get on, neither does he and ex and contact has always been through Ex's mum/nan. Ex and her Partner has split up and now all of a sudden she is on the phone to DP constantly about something or other, always on No Caller ID (I don't know why?). Fair enough, they have children together, but just very strange as this has never been the situation, even before I met DP.

Anyway... I have just had a new car for my DD it is a disability car, a lot newer and shinier than DP's car. DP caused a shit storm today by taking the car out leaving me to walk to DD nursery to pick her up and get a taxi home as I didn't have a car seat to use his car and pushchair was in my boot. I thought how weird why does he want the new car so much today?

Constant phone calls and arguing and then all of a sudden... nothing. For about an hour.

Fast forward to tonight, he comes home and I notice he left the lights on, so I took the keys and turned the lights off, then I notice a pretty large order for a McDonald's, on the back of a letter addressed to Ex with her handwriting.

Now I am shaking with anger and feel pretty deceived. I haven't said anything to him and I am pretty tempted to pack mine and DD things and move back to my mothers.

AIBU?

OP posts:
BringTheBounceBack · 17/09/2019 22:37

It does sound weird that contact was done via family and now it’s direct again now she’s split up with her fella.
However could it be that they took the children out for a meal?

HennyPennyHorror · 17/09/2019 22:38

He took your car?? Your disability vehicle...leaving you to manage your disabled child without a car!??

That's utterly rotten OP. Terrible!

The ex thing doesn't even feature as badly as that does....not in my mind. Though it's clear, she's sniffing around him now that she's single AND he's not avoiding her either!

Have you tackled him about this?

littletikes27 · 17/09/2019 22:40

@BringTheBounceBack Even if they go for a meal, I would have liked to be informed about it as we have the kids most the bloody week so there is just no real reason they need to eat together. Feel a bit hurt that he has taken my daughters car to show off aswell?

Original poster
littletikes27 · 17/09/2019 22:42

@HennyPennyHorror I haven't said anything. I am so annoyed and so tired I will probably end up an emotional wreck if I mention it tonight! I also think it's disgusting he took the car, especially to wine and dine mcdonalds his ex

OP posts:
HennyPennyHorror · 17/09/2019 22:45

It doesn't matter if it was to have a meal with his kids and their Mum...the fact is that he snuck about and she's been calling him in secret AND the main thing is that he stole your car...the car you need.

What's he like in general? as a partner I mean? Does he work and is he nice?

burnttoastandjam · 17/09/2019 22:48

Could he just be making sure that the mother of his children is ok? Is she is ok, his kids are more likely to be happier... (hoping that it is something kind like this).

Not sure why he took your car though

Original poster
littletikes27 · 17/09/2019 22:48

@HennyPennyHorror he's an OK partner. Used to be amazing then DD came along and now he's useless. He's self employed so kind of works as and when he pleases tbh, he makes his money though, 75% of it doesn't make it through the front door but that's another thread!

OP posts:
Original poster
littletikes27 · 17/09/2019 22:50

@burnttoastandjam it's just a shock to me as they have always 'hated' each other, long before I met DP and now she single it's all changing and it's very strange for me as it's all different to everything I have been shown.

OP posts:
HennyPennyHorror · 17/09/2019 22:50

This is the guy who wants to buy his ex a car isn't it? I remember your other post OP. I think you know what everyone's going to say...get out of this relationship now.

Your life will be MUCH easier without this idiot taking up your time, money and energy.

You're subsidising his kids AND his ex now.

He may have checked out emotionally and be leaning towards leaving you for her anyway. ...taking your car the way he did shows that...he doesn't give a shit.

WhyBirdStop · 17/09/2019 22:51

He took your disabled child's transport leaving you to solve how to get her to nursery, idgaf why he met up with his ex or where they went, it shows lack of respect for you and your daughter. Why not take his own car, it's baffling.

Original poster
littletikes27 · 17/09/2019 22:52

@HennyPennyHorror thank you. I needed to read that. I'm going to be making plans tomorrow of moving out of my home, ridiculous isn't it, I will have to move so him and his kids have somewhere to stay. Pft

OP posts:
GabsAlot · 17/09/2019 22:52

Hes a dickhead -

  1. for taking the disability car
  2. fro sneaking around even if its innnocent then why not tell you
Original poster
littletikes27 · 17/09/2019 22:53

@WhyBirdStop exactly. It's disgusting anyway but I have now realised the urgency of having the car was to be flashy to his ex.

OP posts:
JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 17/09/2019 22:54

This is exactly the type of thing my ex would have done.

I’m sorry OP but it doesn’t get better. I’ll bet there are other sneaky things he’s done too that you just aren’t certain enough to challenge him about? And probably more you have no idea about.

Wonderland18 · 17/09/2019 22:55

What an arse.
Please leave him you deserve better

NearlyGranny · 17/09/2019 22:55

Put the keys to the mobility car somewhere he can't find them. You're going to need to be quite ingenious, because you need to be able to access them easily and he mustn't see you doing it.

That was utterly disgraceful behaviour and there is no possible excuse. That car is for your DD's benefit and nobody else's! Selfish, selfish, selfish.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 17/09/2019 22:56

He may have checked out emotionally and be leaning towards leaving you for her anyway. ...taking your car the way he did shows that...he doesn't give a shit.

Yep. Your disabled daughter comes second to his need to be flashy to his ex. And why does he want to be flashy to his ex? There’s only one reason...

HennyPennyHorror · 17/09/2019 22:58

You've hit the nail on the head OP...he wanted to impress his ex with YOUR car!

Your disability vehicle ffs! Very impressive...taking a woman's car so she can't manage her disabled child!

Why do you have to leave the house? Why can't he? Who cares if he's got nowhere? He can go to his bloody ex's!

HennyPennyHorror · 17/09/2019 22:59

Put the keys round your neck OP. Don't leave them anywhere.

Stop all shared financial stuff today....cancel any bills you both pay.

LemonPrism · 17/09/2019 22:59

What does the letter say?

Slappadabass · 17/09/2019 23:01

Is it his house, or both of yours?
You shouldn't have to leave so he has somewhere to see his kids, he should have thought about that before been a lying shit. Plus now he's bezzies with the ex again he can piss off and see his kids at hers.
I agree with others about the car, that is beyond disgusting, he's a waster, leave him!

Original poster
littletikes27 · 17/09/2019 23:02

@LemonPrism sorry, it's a bill. A utility bill. Would have been more exciting if it was a mysterious letter

OP posts:
hennaoj · 17/09/2019 23:03

If it's a motability car it can only be used for the person who is disabled or for their benefit. Use that as an excuse next time he decides he wants to use it.

LemonPrism · 17/09/2019 23:04

Ah I see. He's an arse OP. Who takes their child's disability car?!

SweatyUnderboob · 17/09/2019 23:05

This is wastemanism, pure and simple.

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