Secret McDonalds with ex

[littletikes27]

Don't want to drip feed!!
Me and DP have a DD together and he has two DC from a previous relationship.

Me and Ex do not get on, neither does he and ex and contact has always been through Ex's mum/nan. Ex and her Partner has split up and now all of a sudden she is on the phone to DP constantly about something or other, always on No Caller ID (I don't know why?). Fair enough, they have children together, but just very strange as this has never been the situation, even before I met DP.

Anyway... I have just had a new car for my DD it is a disability car, a lot newer and shinier than DP's car. DP caused a shit storm today by taking the car out leaving me to walk to DD nursery to pick her up and get a taxi home as I didn't have a car seat to use his car and pushchair was in my boot. I thought how weird why does he want the new car so much today?

Constant phone calls and arguing and then all of a sudden... nothing. For about an hour.

Fast forward to tonight, he comes home and I notice he left the lights on, so I took the keys and turned the lights off, then I notice a pretty large order for a McDonald's, on the back of a letter addressed to Ex with her handwriting.

Now I am shaking with anger and feel pretty deceived. I haven't said anything to him and I am pretty tempted to pack mine and DD things and move back to my mothers.

AIBU?

Hennaoj she doesn't need an "excuse:" it's her car.

I don't even like saying it's my car tbh! It's my little girls car and that's what hurts the most

Tikes yes it would bloody hurt. But don't get hurt just yet...get angry. He's an absolute bastard who deserves a bloody big shock.

@HennyPennyHorror I think we may be soul sisters.

I'm in Australia OP...what time is it in the UK right now? What's his plans tomorrow?

It's 11:21pm here. My daughter has physio tomorrow so no doubt he will disappear somewhere so he doesn't have to partake in it.

Is the house yours? If so kick HIM out, get copies of ALL of his earnings and start a child maintenance claim.

How awful for you. Am glad you're not allowing this to carry on.

He didn't really hate her you know that don't you?

I'm going to be making plans tomorrow of moving out of my home, ridiculous isn't it, I will have to move so him and his kids have somewhere to stay. Pft

What's the situation with your house? Don't assume you are the one to move - you have a disabled DD, she's just as much of a consderation as his DDs. More so if you moving would impact negatively on her with regard to appointments and the likes.

Is your house rented? Could you pay for it without him? Whose name's on the lease?

Why do u have to move is it his house?

Mc Donalds, she is a classy bird.

In all seriousness, this is only going one way.

Get rid.

DO NOT MOVE OUT- you and your disabled dd NEED a home- he can shack up with his ex! Do not let him guilt you into giving him use of your car either! It is YOURS purely for you to use with your DD!

Pack him a bag, what he did today is a bigger betrayal than any ONS or affair! He put his ex before your little girl, he stole from your dd to impress another woman! That is beyond low- he is pond scum!

Tell him it’s over, that he has shown you his true colours and you can’t bare to look at him without feeling sick! Then start a new life with your little girl.

I hate to say this but you need to consider if he was the cause of the ex’s split- that they may have been having a sexual relationship.

It’s totally reasonable for him to grab some fast food with the mother of his children.

It is not reasonable
To take your very needed car
To leave you without a car seat
To leave you without a problem
To argue with you about the above
To lie about his whereabouts

I have occasional contact with my Xh. We share no children, we are just quasi-friends. I always tell my DH about the contact and offer to let him read emails and texts, though he never has.

Echoing a pp or two- do not move out unless the house is in his name only. You have dd to consider and prioritise. If it’s solely in your name whether tenancy or owned then pack his stuff and leave it outside. Change the locks (easy to do if you follow a YouTube tutorial) and enjoy the lack of stress the —manchild— stbex has caused

He is a real arsehole but I don't understand why a little girl in nursery has a disability car. I'm in the US and am genuinely puzzled. I thought a car for disabled people had special seats, pedals etc but she's a tot.

Can someone explain please. Thanks.

You didn’t want to drip feed on your previous post either, but you clearly hate the ex, and have no love for his other children

He is a real arsehole but I don't understand why a little girl in nursery has a disability car. I'm in the US and am genuinely puzzled. I thought a car for disabled people had special seats, pedals etc but she's a tot.

Can someone explain please. Thanks.

Anyone who qualifies for the enhanced mobility part of DLA (children) or PIP (adults) can lease a car from the notability scheme. The mobility part of their award is used to pay for the scheme.

When it’s a child who needs the mobility assistance their parent or carer is the driver of the car.

There can be many reasons for it, but for example my DD (although we don’t lease a car) had a wheelchair and oxygen canisters for a period of time. Anyone who has that long term may go down the lease road as they are reliable cars.

*motability, not notability

TumblingTumbleWeeds
Er Loads of reasons
Somewhere to secure a wheelchair
Somewhere to store a hoist and oxygen or other equipment if needed
A lift or ramp at the back to easily get a disabled person in
A space for a carer to sit next to a person in a wheelchair in case they need help
A disability car if not just one that is adapted for a person with a disability to drive it can also be a car designed to carry a person with a disability safely plus all the equipment they might need

Thanks for answering. It all makes sense now. I think the bit that threw me was it was written as if it was the little girls car and not a car 'for' her.

Thanks again.

Agree with PP, it's not even the sneaking around that's the worst of it but the taking of the car.

So he's a "useless" parent who spends 75% of his earnings outside the house and thinks driving to McDonalds in a toddler's car THAT SHE NEEDS FOR HER DISABILITY is the height of sophistication.

It sounds like you would both be better without this waste of good oxygen.

OP
Your post says more than the car issue.
Think very carefully about your relationship and the future.

@littletikes27

Do not move out!!!!

He should move out!!

Wtf. It’s your house!! He is behaving appallingly!!

There is pattern of behaviour here which demonstrates he is using you; please leave now!!

It sounds as if there is unfinished business with his ex. There is a fine line between love and hate as both are very strong emotions. I also think you should ask him to leave.