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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who is in the wrong here?

302 replies

IceAndASlice123 · 17/09/2019 18:57

Ella regularly babysits for Mark and is always paid for 3 hours work.
Yesterday, Marks adult brother, Tony, was at home. Mark told Ella she could leave the child with Tony if it went past her finish time.
About an hour in, Tony says he will take over the childcare from Ella. Ella says she can stay until her finish time but Tony insists.
Ella takes the money for the full shift despite only doing under half of it (Money is left in the kitchen ).
Who is in the wrong here? Should Mark be annoyed?

OP posts:
TheSerenDipitY · 18/09/2019 10:37

Ella still gets 3 hours pay as she wasnt canceled with 24 hours notice

FizzyGreenWater · 18/09/2019 10:44

Ella's time was booked in advance, she was available, she gets paid.

Imagine you are at work and there's nothing to actually do for the last hour because the server is down so you're let home early. Would you be ok with not being paid for that hour? No.

KUGA · 18/09/2019 11:07

Tony is in the wrong.

nokidshere · 18/09/2019 11:25

As a childminder I get paid for hours booked. If you want to come home early, or auntie wants to take child out, or if you decide to have a pj day I still get paid because you have booked my time and space.

Ella is absolutely in the right here.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 18/09/2019 12:43

I would have insisted I or Tony rang Mark before leaving. Tony wasn't your employer.

A few people have said this. But be honest - how many of us, if a family member insisted repeatedly that we left, would be confident enough to dig our heels in and insist on staying until directly instructed by the person who booked you?

cstaff · 18/09/2019 12:52

I hope he realises that he is in the wrong here. He booked you for a certain amount of time and then his brother instructed you to go home early. That was not the deal. If in general you have a good working relationship he should come around, especially as his kids are involved and I presume that you get on well with them. It would not be in his interest to mess this up.

MindyStClaire · 18/09/2019 13:07

Have only read your posts OP, but I would absolutely expect to pay you in full in that scenario.

Bluntness100 · 18/09/2019 13:16

As a childminder I get paid for hours booked

But surely you have communicated this to your clients in advance? Is that not the key difference here? The op did not?

CarolDanvers · 18/09/2019 13:35

Oh Bluntness just pipe down for goodness sake. Common decency dictates that casual workers shouldn't be short changed in this way. I'm really surprised that you'd defend this tbh.

ThinkGlow · 18/09/2019 13:57

Bluntness I normally agree with you and you have great insights but here I think you're being a little unkind.

The key points here are that OP turned up, on time, expecting to do three hours. She was ordered home,even after saying she'd prefer to stay and do her three hours.

Given the bigger picture, Mark is being unkind and unfair to voice his 'annoyance' that his trustworthy, reliable babysitter (who has often stayed to help when he's returned late, I'll bet without paying extra) has the audacity to take the money for the full three hours' pay she was expecting to receive.

It's a personal decision whether you would then decide to take 1 hour's pay or the full 3 hours' pay, but that doesn't mean either is wrong or one is 'more right' than the other.

Juells · 18/09/2019 14:07

But surely you have communicated this to your clients in advance? Is that not the key difference here? The op did not?

Only a very stupid client would think they could bounce home after an hour (for instance) and pay the babysitter accordingly.

Some things shouldn't need to be spelled out, with normal people. The OP will know better in future, and tell people up front that they have to pay for the time booked.

As I said earlier in the thread, I'd never work for Mark again. He's going to be sniffy and resentful and watching everything the OP does for fear of 'being taken advantage of' and the OP is going to be anxious and second-guessing everything she does. Better to end it now rather than wait for him to sack her off for some other imagined slight.

AryaStarkWolf · 18/09/2019 14:21

@Juells yep 100% spot on. His loss and he'll regret it no doubt

ThatCurlyGirl · 18/09/2019 14:30

@Juells

Well said - exactly! Thanks

PleasedToSeeYou · 18/09/2019 14:42

You are not at Marks beck and call. He needs to pay you for the three hours
Keep the money. I would expect an apology from him

Bluntness100 · 18/09/2019 14:49

Only a very stupid client would think they could bounce home after an hour (for instance) and pay the babysitter accordingly.

Sure. So. He's stupid. What difference does it make if he's stupid or not. What relevance is this, other than Even more reason to be clear. Bottom line is if she wishes to be paid for time not used she needs to tell clients this and formalise her agreements in advance.

And I don't think she needs to quit. She maybe needs the gig. But she does need to formalise the agreement and explain her terms before working any further for them, so there is no room for disparity.

What she can't do, is undertake work for people. Not explain her terms, and then expect something she at no point discussed with them.

ThinkGlow · 18/09/2019 14:58

Formalise agreements...explain terms...contracts...

Talk about overkill for an informal 3-hours-a-week babysitting gig. Confused

Mark's being mean and OP you're not cheeky to have taken the money. Good for you standing up for yourself, I hope it goes well when you speak to him today.

Smelborp · 18/09/2019 15:01

Hardly anyone would have given the money back and those that would IMO are wrong. Their time has been booked. They cannot book anything else so they should be paid for it.

Do not give money back. To protect yourself going forward the only thing I might do is to state terms going forward: I.e if you have been booked for a set amount of time and this is not cancelled within x hours, the full amount will be charged.

ThatCurlyGirl · 18/09/2019 15:17

Its babysitting not a Brexit deal - I don't know anyone who does fairly regular but casual babysitting for someone they know well who would even think of a formal contract! It doesn't sound like it's set days even, but as needed.

OP I think you're 100% in the right here and 'Mark' has expressed his annoyance because he thinks you'll be too worried about confrontation to stand up for yourself.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 18/09/2019 15:27

how many of us, if a family member insisted repeatedly that we left, would be confident enough to dig our heels in and insist on staying until directly instructed by the person who booked you?

Damn right!

funinthesun19 · 18/09/2019 15:56

You were told to leave and that’s not your fault. You should still be paid. His issue is with Tony not you.

It’s like if a place of work closes. The workers should still expect to be paid. Your shift was cut short and you should still get full pay.
If I went to the hairdressers and had to leave half way through my hair cut, should that leave the hairdresser out of pocket? No. So why should Mark’s brother telling you to leave early leave you out of pocket?

Mark needs to explain to his brother to keep his nose out in future.

ahmadsmom2015 · 18/09/2019 17:40

Ella was sent away so isn’t in the wrong

manicmij · 18/09/2019 17:42

Ella set aside her time of 3 hours. Mark undertook to allow her to finish. He was in the wrong.

TreeSunset · 18/09/2019 17:53

Adding another voice to the of course you should have been paid for the whole 3 hours as booked. You are in the right

Peanutbutterforever · 18/09/2019 17:55

I use a babysitting agency. I often return earlier than I have booked for. I ALWAYS pay for the full time I booked. Mark is a fool and a bit of a CF.

Elsie1966 · 18/09/2019 18:02

If you booked a hair appointment you are told in advance what the cost is, regardless of the time it takes to completed treatment so Tony is wrong, Ella did not work for free but was sent home early not her choice, but if you had cancelled your babysitter and given sufficient time then Ella COULD of babysat for someone else.