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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who is in the wrong here?

302 replies

IceAndASlice123 · 17/09/2019 18:57

Ella regularly babysits for Mark and is always paid for 3 hours work.
Yesterday, Marks adult brother, Tony, was at home. Mark told Ella she could leave the child with Tony if it went past her finish time.
About an hour in, Tony says he will take over the childcare from Ella. Ella says she can stay until her finish time but Tony insists.
Ella takes the money for the full shift despite only doing under half of it (Money is left in the kitchen ).
Who is in the wrong here? Should Mark be annoyed?

OP posts:
SirVixofVixHall · 18/09/2019 19:56

Also working an hour is more hassle etc than working for three hours. It takes the same travel time, but for less income, so if I have had to pay someone for an hour when they normally work longer, I have paid more than the basic hourly rate.
I also always pay for things like music lessons if I cancel in under 24 hours.
Mark is being ridiculous .

fatimashortbread · 18/09/2019 20:03

Ella is not in the wrong. The babysitting service I use has a 3 hour minimum charge anyway. I would always pay for the full sit anyway even if I came home early.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 18/09/2019 20:05

You were booked for 3 hours, if other childcare became available that’s irrelevant as your time was booked in advanced.

You were available to work, he choose for you not to work big difference.

StinkyBumFace · 18/09/2019 20:08

You were not in the wrong. Mark is being a dick and Tony should have butted and not flouted his non-existent authority around.

laraitopbanana · 18/09/2019 20:15

Mark is the parent Nd asked Ella to come for three hours paid.
Tony is the uncle who sent her away against her will.
She is entitled for her full time paid and noone should say anything about it to her. Or you might loose what I believe is a good babysitter??

MadMadaMim · 18/09/2019 20:22

From what you've said, nobody is in the wrong unless something else happened.

Did Mark ask Ella for half the money? Was Mark annoyed that Ella took the whole amount? If yes to either, then Mark is being unreasonable, however, he may not know that Tony sent her away.

Otherwise, there's no right/wrong...

Missteebeee · 18/09/2019 20:30

As a babysitter, I get paid for a minimum of 4 hours even if only 10 minutes is used. I’ve still given up my evening for that booking and can’t then earn any where else in such short notice

Janus · 18/09/2019 21:09

My child sometimes goes to after school club. If I cancel (I did once as he was invited back to a friend’s house last minute and I knew he’d love that) then I have to pay for the after school club, even if he doesn’t go, unless more than 24 hours notice . Not a problem and I think your situation is similar and similar rules should apply. You took yourself to their house, had set aside 3 hours for them, therefore not able to do anything else with your evening, they pay you for the AGREED time you were meant to be there. If they insisted you go home you go but I would have still expected you to take the money if I were Mark, if nothing else but as a gesture to say thank you and appreciate you.

Lweji · 18/09/2019 21:15

The obvious answer is that if Mark is so concerned about you taking the money for the hours you were contracted to work, then he should recoup the money from the person who sent you away (Tony).
And Tony will tell him to fuck off, I'm sure.

Sostenueto · 18/09/2019 21:20

Ella was in the right. Simple is!

winniestone37 · 18/09/2019 21:24

Tony is in the wrong, it was Ella's time booked her money.

cstaff · 18/09/2019 21:33

Hey @IceAndASlice123
Just wondering if you have heard back from Mark today and if so was it to apologise coz it bloody should have been. Cheeky fecker.

JasBBGG · 18/09/2019 21:36

I'd be more concerned that you took instruction from Tony without checking with Mark. I wouldn't be bothered about the money but I would be bothered about my kids not being with who I thought they were with. Maybe that's what's pissed him off? Doesn't matter it's his brother they are still his kids and his choice who is in charge of them.

DrSK2 · 18/09/2019 21:39

Ella is in the wrong - she was booked for 3 hrs so should have stayed for 3 hrs and take the money as usual. The child’s father said her she can leave the child with his brother when her 3 hrs finishes. Ella only assumes it is okay to leave the child with uncle before her 3 hrs finishes - it is an assumption. I wouldn’t consider the uncle’s offer, but if Ella did, she should have double checked it with the child’s father if leaving the child before the finish of her 3 hrs slot was okay. Ella should have considered the issue from safe guarding perspective too. She is in full charge of safe guarding the child within the remit of her 3 hrs slot and shouldn’t have given that much access/exposure of the child to someone else (whoever they might be / what ever the relation to the child) within her slot of full responsibility.

FelicisNox · 18/09/2019 21:41

Tony is in the wrong and so is Mark for not having any common sense.

Gruesome2some · 18/09/2019 21:46

Similar scenario here. I have a childminder who takes my children to school, sometimes I have meetings that mean i have time to take them myself. I let her know a day or two in advance. I wouldn't dream of not paying her on those occasions because effectively I have booked her time. Keep the money and dont feel bad.

Bluntness100 · 18/09/2019 21:47

Tony is in the wrong and so is Mark for not having any common sense

I'm sorry I think thr op is in the wrong for undertaking a professional service and failing to agree her terms in advance.

You're either a professional or you're not.

Tistheseason17 · 18/09/2019 21:51

Any update from Mark?

IAmTheMumWhoKnocks · 18/09/2019 22:23

Any update?

purplebunny2012 · 19/09/2019 00:05

Tony cut Ella's shift, but Ella is still entitled to the full pay

Mummyontherocks · 19/09/2019 00:58

I think you need to type out some terms and conditions to give to customers. Booking cancelled within 7 days = xx% charged, booking cancelled within 24 hours - full fee payable etc etc. Be clear up front and you won't be in this situation again.

Sewrainbow · 19/09/2019 07:17

You are right to take the money, liken it to other services where the full amount is charged despite not using all the time ie nursery.

You should probably have double checked with mark it was ok to go.

Tony should have stayed out of it.

csigeek · 19/09/2019 07:41

I think everyone is slightly in the wrong ish

If Ella wants to babysit again for them she might have considered leaving some of the money behind. Although since she was booked 3 hours work it's kind of unfair to be then told on the night she's not really needed.
If Mark wants Ella to babysit again he shouldn't begrudge paying her for a full shift, it's not her fault his brother was there and told her to leave.
Tony shouldn't have interfered because it's ultimately caused an issue.

PerkyPomPoms · 19/09/2019 07:41

So how did your chat with Mark go?

NigellaAwesome · 19/09/2019 08:52

*Bluntness:
*
I'm sorry I think thr op is in the wrong for undertaking a professional service and failing to agree her terms in advance.

You're either a professional or you're not.

she was babysitting Confused. I've never thought of my babysitters as 'professionals', it still doesn't stop me treating them fairly.

Any word from Mark?