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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to sell her the clothes?

116 replies

MaggieMagpie357 · 16/09/2019 19:45

A fellow school mum has set up an online clothing company selling second hand clothes, nothing big, think more local and social media based than large online trading company.

I recently posted quite a lot of bundles of clothes for sale on FB Marketplace after an unsuccessful car boot sale, all really good quality stuff, in great condition. She has now approached me twice about buying some of these clothes.

The first time it was a dressing up costume, she didn't specify it was to sell on although I suspected that's what she might do. I joked that it wouldn't fit her daughter to give her the chance to own up and say, actually it's for my online store, but she just kept asking when she could pick it up. In the end I relented just to get rid of it, as it was a bit marked and no one else was interested in buying it.

Now she has messaged me about buying 4 more items. Part of me wants to message back and say, actually I'm not very comfortable with you buying these to sell on for your own profit. AIBU?

Bit of background - I have known this woman for 7 years, I really do not like her (which may be colouring my judgement!!!) but our daughters are friends and in the same class. I don't really see her any more as our kids are old enough to walk to school alone so no awkward school runs to worry about, but she does live nearby.

I'm torn between wanting to get rid of these clothes and definitely not wanting her to profit from my stuff - especially as she hasn't been honest about it!

OP posts:
Original poster
MaggieMagpie357 · 16/09/2019 21:07

@LeithWalk I like your thinking!

OP posts:
HJWT · 16/09/2019 21:08

If you are SOO bothered by it why not be the bigger person and say yes you can have them are you buying to sell them on?

WaterSheep · 16/09/2019 21:09

If you refuse to sell to her, you end up with no money and clothes you no longer need.

How is that better than making money and clearing out unwanted clothes?

Confused
LazyDaisey · 16/09/2019 21:10

Just tell her you underpriced them to make them more affordable. But as they’re for her business, you can’t sell it to her for that price.

Blueoasis · 16/09/2019 21:10

Take down the ad. Wait a few days to a week, put it back up with a higher price. Sell her whatever she wants.

Doubtful that she can sell it on higher. A fool and their money are easy to part. Grin

needsahouseboy · 16/09/2019 21:11

I wouldn’t like if either and if no one else wanted them I’d take them to the charity shop. It’s just a bit snidy to buy stuff off someone you know and then sell it for a higher price, if you ask me

LazyDaisey · 16/09/2019 21:11

More affordable to other mums, I mean.

That way, you get a little dig at her new business too Grin

CheeryB · 16/09/2019 21:11

If she had approached me honestly and said, I'd like to buy them to sell on, I'd have less of a problem with it. But she hasn't done that. So I feel like she's been dishonest

If she pays what you're asking then they belong to her. She doesn't have to tell you what she intends to do with them. That's not dishonest.

Whitejasmine · 16/09/2019 21:18

This is what’s called “cutting off your nose to spite your face” my dear!

Whitejasmine · 16/09/2019 21:20

This is what is called “cutting off your nose to spite your face” my dear! But it’s your stuff, you can sell it to whomever you like - guess it depends how much you need the money.

Whitejasmine · 16/09/2019 21:21

Oops posted twice!

SadOtter · 16/09/2019 21:22

lots of her friends seem to buy her stuff through Fb

Ah, if shes using her personal page to sell it then you need to relist it, tagging her in the post with your asking price so everyone she'd be selling to sees it. Petty yes but it might make you feel better and one of her customers might decide to buy direct from you.

Notwiththeseknees · 16/09/2019 21:25

I've read some funny things on Mumsnet, some heartbreaking things and some very interesting things. But this must be the most petty thing I've ever read and it's really quite sad too.

ElevenSmiles · 16/09/2019 21:27

This woman you dislike sells to lots of her friends.....Jealous OP ?

RavenLG · 16/09/2019 21:27

Would you ask a total stranger what purpose the clothes were for?
No.
So why does it matter so much to you that your friend tells you that she is going to sell them?

ReanimatedSGB · 16/09/2019 21:32

You sound remarkably unpleasant: self-righteous, spiteful and illogical. She has offered to pay you the asking price for the goods you are trying to sell. She doesn't owe you 'honesty' about whether she is going to sell them on or not (it's very different from people who beg and scrounge for outgrown clothes from their friends' DC and then sell them on.)
I deal in secondhand books. I get some stock from eBay when people are selling stuff that is worth rather more than the auction start price - I put in a bid but only up to the maximum that will allow me to make an additional profit. Anyone who deals in used items wants to buy stuff they know they can put a mark up on. It isn't wrong to do this (and the dealer, remember, has to spend time as well as money cleaning up the item, photographing it, or getting up v early to go to selling events (and paying all the travel and other expenses of doing an event) with no guarantee that it will sell at the price they think they can get for it - or at all.

RushianDisney · 16/09/2019 21:38

Do you expect everyone who buys something from you to declare their intentions for the item? Utterly ridiculous.

goldfinchfan · 16/09/2019 21:47

Why not ask her for a percentage of the profit and work with her?

Chloemol · 16/09/2019 21:56

Sell them to her at a price you want. If she buys and makes no profit that’s her issue

TreeSunset · 16/09/2019 21:59

If she’s going to pay the price you are happy to sell at / listing then I really don’t see the problem?
If she was asking for a discount and selling at the price you would then yes cheeky, but if you list for £5 and she pays that I don’t see the issue?

Moominfan · 16/09/2019 22:04

Don't sell them to her and post them on depop or vinted.

Mycatwontstopstaring · 16/09/2019 22:17

I absolutely get that you don’t want a woman you dislike to profit from your personal items, especially if she’s hounding you about it. Block her on Facebook, sell the clothes, then unblock her. Or just tell her they’re all gone, then sell on eBay or give to charity.

GibbonLover · 16/09/2019 22:19

I'm not very comfortable with you buying these to sell on for your own profit

This is what every single retail business in the world does - buys things to sell on at profit. You sound a bit jealous.

Moomin8 · 16/09/2019 22:23

Why on Earth are you bothered who buys them?

Surely her money is as good as anyone else's?

Unless there is a back story of her subjecting disadvantaged people to sweatshop conditions in her home grown business YABVU and are overthinking the whole thing.

ReanimatedSGB · 16/09/2019 22:37

If you buy a lot of new clothes at low prices, you're probably benefiting from sweatshop labour, btw.

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