AIBU not to sell her the clothes?

[MaggieMagpie357]

A fellow school mum has set up an online clothing company selling second hand clothes, nothing big, think more local and social media based than large online trading company.

I recently posted quite a lot of bundles of clothes for sale on FB Marketplace after an unsuccessful car boot sale, all really good quality stuff, in great condition. She has now approached me twice about buying some of these clothes.

The first time it was a dressing up costume, she didn't specify it was to sell on although I suspected that's what she might do. I joked that it wouldn't fit her daughter to give her the chance to own up and say, actually it's for my online store, but she just kept asking when she could pick it up. In the end I relented just to get rid of it, as it was a bit marked and no one else was interested in buying it.

Now she has messaged me about buying 4 more items. Part of me wants to message back and say, actually I'm not very comfortable with you buying these to sell on for your own profit. AIBU?

Bit of background - I have known this woman for 7 years, I really do not like her (which may be colouring my judgement!!!) but our daughters are friends and in the same class. I don't really see her any more as our kids are old enough to walk to school alone so no awkward school runs to worry about, but she does live nearby.

I'm torn between wanting to get rid of these clothes and definitely not wanting her to profit from my stuff - especially as she hasn't been honest about it!

YABU.

You set a price, and you get that price.
She sets a price, and she gets that price.

What’s the problem?

If you’re paid what you want for an item, why would you have a problem with what happens to them afterwards? How strange

I don’t get it. Why don’t you sell the clothes at the higher price and make the profit yourself?

Oh god let her have them!

Look at her business model...selling second hand clothes.

She has to source the clothes, collect the clothes, sort/wash the clothes, photograph them, upload them, find someone to actually buy them before dispatching them. Then and only then will she possibly make a “profit” but in all likelihood after all that work and effort she won’t.

Any business is hard work but this one particularly so. Let her have them and wish her luck. It would benefit the environment immensely if we all bought a bit more second hand let her crack on.

It wouldn’t bother me if she was willing to pay what I was asking. If she haggled I’d be a bit

@EnsignRoLaren ooh hadn't thought of that!!

Yes I'm being petty, but this woman grinds my gears so much. She is the kind whose children are ALWAYS the most important/clever/fabulous in any situation, and who teachers and school receptionists run and hide from, because she practically lives at the school. She clearly winds me up more than I realised!

Your thinking is way off. If you were giving them to her and she sold them for a profit, maybe you'd have a point but she's willing to pay the price you want.

YABU because you don't like her. If you're getting the price you want it shouldn't really make a difference to you.

If she winds you up, but no only else is buying them, you could always give them to a charity shop.

You don't want to sell to her because you don't like it. You finally accepted that. Fair enough.

What timeless19 says.
You come across as small minded and resentful - and what for - some crappy school uniform (shakes head).

I'd rather buy from you at your price than from her at hers, so YANBU.

Say you've already overpriced them so she's not likely to make a profit, and also (disclaimer: I know nothing about FB Marketplace) you want to sell to different buyers so you get a variety of feedback/ratings/develop good relationships with buyers/whatevs.

I did it once because I had a slightly crazy sling-stalker woman, who hopped on every post I made about baby carriers and posted a begging story about why she was more worthy/in need of the —luxury baby item— carriers I was trying to buy. In the end I blocked her and my problem was solved.

Tbf OP, I could quite easily feel the same way, even if it is irrational. Just subtly block her 🙂

@MaeveDidIt it's not school uniform. It's nice girls clothes. If that makes a difference (which I'm sure it doesn't.)

I do get where you are coming from

I sold a bundle of toys that the person said her ds was desperate for.

She only went and listed them to sell on.

I felt a bit smug when months went by and no one bought them

But it’s just clothes. Let her buy them and waste her own time selling them on

I have no clue why this would bother you!

I don't see the problem. If she is paying the price you asked what does it matter. It's called wholesale and retail. You don't go to Asda and complain you are paying more then they are buying it for. If you think you can get the same sell it at a higher price.

YABU that’s exactly how buying and selling works. What you pay in Tesco isn’t the price they pay to buy the item from the wholesaler or manufacturer. If she is willing to pay your asking price just sell her the clothes.

@Fromage that's the thing - it's a very local online shop, lots of her friends seem to buy her stuff through Fb, so I'm guessing my original post (including the price) will have been seen by many people already.

Just sell it, who cares?!! You might not get any buyers and then you’ve missed out on XX amount.

@Soubriquet yes a similar thing has happened to me in the past, so maybe that's partly why I'm reluctant to sell to her! That and the fact that she hasn't actually said that's what she's going to do with them. Just be honest!!

@MaggieMagpie357

Ok, point taken, but quite frankly if you are that resentful that she is going to make a few quid out of you - put the effort in and sell them yourself at a higher price. Job done.

If you don't want to sell to her, just tell her that you don't feel comfortable with her selling them on. She's unlikely to hunt you down and kill you, even for a nice bit of Boden.

I've been selling online for about 15 years now and I've learnt to listen to my instincts. Sometimes that has meant not selling to people I knew, because I thought they were arseholes. The very few times I ignored my instincts, the sales went badly wrong, because guess what? They were arseholes!

If she's selling online she may not last long anyway. The returns rate for clothing is horrific and children's clothes can be especially tricky. Maybe she will move on to another idea soon and you won't have this problem. Could you remove all of your stuff from sale for a while? You could say that you're not really enjoying selling and you're giving it a break, but be prepared for some CF-ery when she wants you to give her all your "stock".

Jeez, way to shoot yourself in the foot.
She wants to buy at the price you want, but you won’t sell? How bizarre. Is someone else’s money worth more?

You obviously don't really need the money, so if you want to spite her that much why don't you just donate the clothes to a charity? Or would you resent a charity profiting from your precious cast offs also?

YABVU.
It cannot make any difference to you what she does with these clothes.
Why don't you want to get the money for them?