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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask what your life goals are now?

87 replies

cjt110 · 16/09/2019 16:02

I always wanted to get an education, meet someone, travel a bit, get a home, good job, car and get married. Then have a family.

I had done all of those by 27. My son is now 5 and I remember laughing and saying my goal is to get parquet flooring before I die.

But in all seriousness, what now?

Do you even HAVE to have a goal?

I suppose another goal of mine is to bring my son up as a happy, rounded individual. But that's just parenting isn't it... not a goal. Or a personal goal.

So... what are your LG's now?

OP posts:
Bunnylady53 · 16/09/2019 19:06

Great thread! We have downsized & paid off our mortgage but still really struggle financially so the main goal is to earn more!
Take DD10 to Universal Studios & Miami
Travel more generally - I would love to visit Japan for a start
Get a proper diagnosis for DD ( pretty sure she’s on the spectrum)
Continue with our family therapy & end up with a better relationship between DD & DH
Bond our buck & doe ( we already have a bonded pair & they are beyond cute!)
Rip out our bathroom & replace it with an ultra modern one, including rainfall shower
Get fit again - since I quit karate I have really let myself go
Go to a proper festival
Use my slow cooker more - is that a life goal?!
Keep learning new things ( I’m in my 50s & don’t want to stagnate!)

blue25 · 16/09/2019 19:09

Aiming to get mortgage paid off ASAP. Also aiming to save enough money to retire early, after which we will travel lots, spending a few months each winter abroad.

MsJuniper · 16/09/2019 19:21

I would like to earn enough to have a family holiday each year. Working towards that by taking a new role which will lead towards a new career. We are managing by the skin of our teeth at the moment, so being able to afford a family holiday (in UK or abroad) would be a measure of being more comfortably off.

I also want to work on my physical health including losing a significant amount of weight. Working towards that with a low-carb diet, but need to work harder.

My other goal is to support my children to grow into the people they can be. I am hopeful that my new role and career direction will, in the long term, help with this.

Lowlandlucky · 16/09/2019 19:22

Woman plans, God laughs ! I gave up stiving and setting goals and have never been happier, sometimes we unrealistic aims in life because we think that is what is expected. Just enjoy life

FilthyforFirth · 16/09/2019 19:26

Mid 30s. I want a second child. I want to lose 3 more stone to get back to normal (lost 2 so far). I want to run a marathon (have only done halves so far) but that is a goal for later in life. I dont have the time it takes to dedicate to training!

My biggest goal apart from 2nd child is to learn to play the piano. I will be in a position to buy one next year and I cannot wait to start lessons!

ValancyRedfern · 16/09/2019 19:28

My goal is to not be suffering so badly with eating disorders, OCD, depression and anxiety. This has been my goal for the last 20 years and not looking any more likely than it was 20 years ago...

Cryalot2 · 16/09/2019 19:31

Am late 50s and have to use a rollator outdoors as am not old enough for knee surgery! So I want to live life as fully as I can and see both adult kids settled down and be a grand mother .
I would like things to improve here and just for my family to be healthy and happy as it has been a rough couple of years. To visit Japan and a few other places although I think it unlikely but who knows.
I would also like to loose weight and hope that my dear mum who has dementia always knows me.
I would also love to read the news and there would be no wars, fighting poverty or so much ill health , and that people were kind and honest
Oh and my wee dog lives as long as I do and will be healthy.
Not realistic. But I got qualifications in my 40s and always was afraid of dogs and now own one . So anything is possible

PapayaCoconut · 16/09/2019 19:37

I want a driving license, a Master's degree and a job that pays at least 40k.

m0therofdragons · 16/09/2019 19:43

Most of our goals are travel related. Save up for a kitchen and support dc growing up. Enjoy life with dh.

m0therofdragons · 16/09/2019 19:44

My goal for the week is to get the windows and gutters cleaned... I'm so old that that will actually make me happy!

CustardOmlet · 16/09/2019 19:50

I’m 33, and I want a PhD! I also want my DSs to grow up to be confident, well rounded and to be able to take part in every school trip/beaver trip/ activity without us worrying about the cost.

Hecateh · 16/09/2019 19:52

Various goals have been met, discarded (my kids aren't having kids) or even forgotten.

Needing a 'goal' isn't universal or necessary, we're all different.

However, for those needing something more when they have achieved their objective goals, @cjt110, I recommend finding a job in the third sector. Pay will drop but job satisfaction can be immense so long as it is in an area that means something to you.

Mine have been in post education - education delivering courses to women who had been let down by parents/education/society (1,2 or all) Women attending the courses were enabled to set, move towards and frequently achieve their own goals. (Some fantastically so). (Building confidence, skills and knowledge)

And now, working towards an 'age friendly' society with Age UK. Interventions that understand older people are individuals with their own lives, loves and wants, and promoting independence as long as its desired.

Knowing I am enabling people to make a difference in their own lives or of others close to them gives me a satisfaction that material achievements can't.

Financially I am the poor relation in my large family - emotionally I'm not so sure.

Mummyshark2018 · 16/09/2019 19:55

My long term life goals are to live a long and healthy life, be financially stable and to raise a child that is happy and contributes to society.

My other goals are ever evolving. I am always looking for the next challenge- degree, masters, phd, starting own business (all which I have done). I would love to be the type of person to be content with what I've got or achieved but I always get itchy feet so I have started to set myself smaller goals- house extension, new car, holidays etc which helps.

PushingThru · 16/09/2019 19:57

Fall madly in love again with someone who isn't mad.

Original poster
cjt110 · 16/09/2019 20:03

So many interesting replies.

@Ilovecolinjackson what's written down isn't always what it's cracked up to be.

I learned to swim at 30. Massive personal goal achieved there.

I guess it's more things like that that I am after.

I'd love to be free of depression and anxiety.

Not sure what else

OP posts:
ItsClemFandangoCanYouHearMe · 16/09/2019 20:07

I'm turning 30 soon so I think my goals are to work on my education, try to spend more quality time with DP where we aren't just mum and dad and I really want a Smeg fridge and a range cooker I'll die before I can afford those.

IdentifyasTired · 16/09/2019 20:10

Finish home renovations
Buy a second home abroad
Turn my hobby into a small business
Be the best wife and mother I can

catflapuk · 16/09/2019 20:13

I'm late 30s and have never been happier. My goal is to stay healthy, for my DP and his son to be ok. I'm thinking it would be amazing if I this state could last until I retire, for which I am well on track to do so comfortably. I have more inner peace than ever, for which I am grateful.

But I want to focus on living now and appreciating what is now and not what will or will not be. We do not know what is around the corner as I sadly had to learn over the past couple of years with DP, so I do not spend too much time planning 5 or 10 years ahead.

RavenLG · 16/09/2019 20:14

Well I just committed the cardinal sin of quitting your job without having a new job to go to, so currently my goal is to just get a job so we can pay the mortgage.

But seriously, my main goal is to get in a better place mental health wise I have been on the verge of suicide (thanks to the job) so hopefully a break / new job will get me back on track.

Okmama · 16/09/2019 20:28

Have a lovely but modest home with a garden for my kids Smile

GreekOddess · 16/09/2019 20:33

Thanks for starting this thread cjt! Lots of food for thought Smile

PlinkPlink · 16/09/2019 20:35

I'm 31.

Goals are:

Guiding DS to become a decent, wonderful man (long way to go as he's only 2 😂)

Baby no.2 - already trying for this one

Get myself back into my music by performing at my local festival.

Find myself a job or way to earn that makes me happy.

Get my name on the mortgage (when defaults have cleared)

Get my credit score cleared of all my defaults (nothing but time for that one)

Get some savings going.

Travel.

U2HasTheEdge · 16/09/2019 20:36

I am 38 with five children. I had children very young so I have plenty of plans left.

Travel.
Finish my degree then perhaps do my nursing degree.
Getting a new job.
Reading loads of books.
Travelling. I have never been abroad. That is going to change.
Go to more concerts and have more fun.
Watch all my children grow and possibly become a grandparent.
Earn more money.
Become a bit more healthier.
Adopt more dogs in the future.

heidbuttsupper · 16/09/2019 20:36

I've been making lots of short term goals rather than looking at the long term plan. Current goal is to pass my driving test.

Ilovecolinjackson · 16/09/2019 20:40

Nothing is ever as it seems OP. Expectations can be a let down, bad health throwing you a curve ball etc. I just don't like chasing the Impossible.

Do agree with you on the small achievable personal goals though.

Maybe my first post was a bit serious.