To think it's too early to be thinking about Christmas?

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Mil was asking dh yesterday what we intended to do for Christmas and that she wanted us to go to hers on Christmas eve and stay until the day after boxing day. Massive guilt trip included. AIBU to think it's too early to commit to plans for Christmas? Any of you plan this early ahead?

Too early.
Ask me at the beginning of December.

Sounds like mil wanted to prevent you arranging your own Christmas. Now she has booked you nobody else can.
Only in her thinking op..
Stay home as recommended on Mn!!

LOL. Well, we don't have the negotiations about who is going where for what. But I've just wrapped and sent all the presents for the whanau back home along with DH who has gone back for a work trip. Saves a fortune in postage!

We also have birthdays in October, November and December, making for an expensive quarter of the year, so I've been trying to shop through the year.

DH and I are shift workers, our shifts for Christmas come out at the end of this month. From there we will discuss plans with families as some need to book flights and hotels.

We've known where we will be in Christmas for several months. Now we are planning the weekends around Christmas.

For many families it can be complex, with members scattered around the country or world so preplanning is needed to make plans happen.

I'll be 36 weeks this Christmas, I've told DM we're all coming to hers!

I also dragged DS away from a guitar today with 'Ok, Father Christmas can bring it'

We have to plan far ahead. My husband's family is only about 10 people and they all live locally, but mine is about 30 people who live all over the place. We like to see everyone at some point in the christmas period so we have to start looking at dates now really.

I would think it would be perfectly reasonable to be issuing Christmas invitations now. That way if you refuse she still has time to make other arrangements.

Mine includes international movements sometimes. I start planning in June😁

It's mid September now. Time to start buying presents etc so I get why she is asking

I think about Christmas all year long - I love it

If you don't want to go to MILS tell her you are spending the day on your own this year.

We, mil, and DH's family all live within 100 miles of each other.

It's not too soon to begin coordinating what is a quite busy time of year for most people. You wouldn't tell people off for deciding what to do with the summer holidays in April.

YANBU to deflect your MILs question, but it's not really about Christmas, is it? She just wants to exercise some control.

Just say, "we're considering our options for work and seeing all our family, we'll get back to you."

Not really, OP. We know what we’re doing for Christmas (and Easter 2020 as it happens).

We’re from a professional, busy family with people all over the place. Life requires organisation. The conversation about Christmas starts quite early, in the same way that we’re already wondering where we might like to go for a summer holiday next year.

Nearly finished my Christmas shopping. We started talking Christmas plans with my now ex in-laws a few months ago because there were 3 families we needed to see. Now my ex has left Christmas is going to be much easier for me. Next year I probably won't start buying til later in the year but will need to plan my money well in advance.

Never too early imo

I want to spend Christmas on my own home but getting the guilt trip that DH's grandmother finds it harder to travel and will be disappointed if we aren't there on Christmas day etc from mil.

Hmm my Dad lives almost 100 miles away and I've already tried to arrange our Boxing Day plans on that basis, YABU. I just like to be organised and know what I'm doing well in advance.

It's a bit early, although I like to spread the cost as much as possible so I may have started the gift buying (one gift and it was on special offer!)

Maybe should have titled the thread aibu to say no to mil's guilt trip for Christmas

We did Christmas with my family, then Christmas with his family, then Christmas on our own.

I think expecting Christmas Day, Boxing Day, and the day after is a little bit. . .greedy excessive?! I'm sure Grandmama could live with a shorter time? Or you could do Christmas day at yours, Boxing Day at theirs, or vice versa?

DH & I started discussing plans for Xmas today.
So not too early, but don't commit to anything you don't want to do. And I would have thought that if in doubt 1 night only, or max 2 leaving in the morning, would be sufficient.

It’s not too early but if it’s too early for you, say you haven’t decided what to do yet and you’ll let her know.

Depends on your family situation but I would probably want to start thinking about it around now - it’s quite complicated and entails various family members in different parts of the country, including ones who need picking up and taking home again despite living 200ish miles away. Also I have to book my annual leave and potentially a hotel at some point.

I don't need to start planning where we will spend Christmas, as my DParents told me a couple of years ago that they are no longer going to alternate between DSis and me (they want to stay at home, alone, unbothered by the 'chaos' of Christmas, apparently!) and are NC with MIL. But I have started looking at gift ideas for the DC, and planning what food and drink I want! We got an invitation from BIL last year, about 10 days before Christmas Day … I did get the feeling that we were only invited as someone else dropped out!

I don't think it's too early to start planning. But it does sounds like she's tried to lock you down to a plan at the first opportunity so that no other own can get a look in. YANBU to say no to a guilt trip.

@TeddyBeans

Nearly finished my Christmas shopping.

excuse me while I bang my head on a wall