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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's too early to be thinking about Christmas?

63 replies

AndroidB · 16/09/2019 14:29

Mil was asking dh yesterday what we intended to do for Christmas and that she wanted us to go to hers on Christmas eve and stay until the day after boxing day. Massive guilt trip included. AIBU to think it's too early to commit to plans for Christmas? Any of you plan this early ahead?

OP posts:
Travis1 · 16/09/2019 14:58

Not too early, my December free time is pretty much booked up already. If my work actually bother to sort a decent doo this year I probably won't be able to go because it will inevitable clash with something else. Or be like the last 2 years where it's 150 miles from home and the saturday before Christmas Hmm

TeddyBeans · 16/09/2019 14:59

@FlamedToACrisp feel free but when your number of people to buy for drops from nearly 20 to 4 you can see

  1. Why I started early
and
  1. Why it's now nearly done 😊
Witchinaditch · 16/09/2019 14:59

Lots of people to buy for means has to be spread out.

Purpleartichoke · 16/09/2019 15:00

It’s exactly the right time to make plans. I wouldn’t want to let it go much beyond this point.

GummyGoddess · 16/09/2019 15:00

YABU it isn't too early!

YANBU to not want to go.

KatherineJaneway · 16/09/2019 15:01

I've already planned mine. People coming by train can book 3 months in advance and can get good fares that way.

Just booking the works Christmas do as well

Purpleartichoke · 16/09/2019 15:04

If you don’t want to spend Christmas at her house, don’t. We decided when dd was born that Christmas morning would always take place in our home with just our small family. All extended family plans have to work around that.

Decide what matters to you and then suggest a plan for celebrating with your Mil that works for you.

bluebeck · 16/09/2019 15:04

I want to spend Christmas on my own home but getting the guilt trip that DH's grandmother finds it harder to travel and will be disappointed if we aren't there on Christmas day etc from mil

Well maybe GM will have to be disappointed then? She will still have other family around her presumably? Stick to your guns OP!!!

BustedDreams · 16/09/2019 15:05

Yes too early Grin

Zaphodsotherhead · 16/09/2019 15:06

We were talking about this at work in the shop the other day, when the Christmas chocolates came in. Someone said it ws far too early to think about Christmas - I pointed out that there are only three pay days between now and The Big Day, and if you've got a lot of people to buy for and need to budget, then it's pretty much already too late!

Sallyseagull · 16/09/2019 15:06

I think it depends on the plans and what you want to do. I've tried to book xmas dinner in a hotel before in October and found it was fully booked.

Teacakeandalatte · 16/09/2019 15:07

OP you shouldn't have to go to MiL out of guilt but at the same time I think you should take your DHs opinion into account when deciding as it is his family.

Roselilly36 · 16/09/2019 15:07

We usually go on hols before Xmas, so it doesn’t get thought about until we get home. I don’t buy into the perfect Xmas expectation, usually ends in disappointment. Just relax and enjoy.

hammeringinmyhead · 16/09/2019 15:09

I would put her off - especially when she is using her own mum/MiL as ammunition! I wouldn't have thought your DH's grandma would expect him there for every Christmas Day now he is 30 or whatever.

However, I have been asked by work which days I want off as we are open on the 23rd, 24th, 27th, 30th and 31st.

Coldilox · 16/09/2019 15:09

My Christmas leave requests (and DW’s) has to be in months ago. Now we know what we’ve got off we know when we can travel to MIL’s (always spend Christmas there, happily) and can sort childcare for when we’re working. Have already started buying presents to spread the costs and take advantage of early bargains.

So yes I start planning early. I love a long slow build up to a Christmas.

HappyEverIftar · 16/09/2019 15:10

My family are spread across four continents, so we have to start looking ahead if only to catch the flight sales and sort logistics of houses/beds/cars/coaches/trains/online ordering of gifts to a UK address etc. These conversations begin in the summer months. I realise that's a bit extreme for some but it's such a lovely time when we do get together we don't mind. Though I note it's the females doing the running around at this stage!

TheFaerieQueene · 16/09/2019 15:10

My Ocado Christmas slots will be available soon, so I have to think about who is coming over so I know what to order!

Puzzledbyart · 16/09/2019 15:12

Our local crafts&decorations shop had christmas stuff in mid-August this year, so I've done some Christmas shopping during the heatwave. Of course it is not too early!

joblotbubble · 16/09/2019 15:13

I planned all my Christmases the day I got married many years ago

We don't go out and we don't have people in. It has worked well for lots of years, particularly when the DC came along. Can't think of much worse than dragging excited kids away from their new toys to sit in granny's house just waiting to go home Grin

shreddednips · 16/09/2019 15:13

I plan early and start shopping now because my husband and I are both self employed, it just so happens that Christmas and the run up to it is quieter for us work-wise and December in particular is a lean month. So it helps to start early to spread the cost, especially as I'm hosting.
Understand that it probably feels to early for some though!

wednesday32 · 16/09/2019 15:16

It's never too early, people book holidays months in advance and talk about that so whats wrong with talking about a day that will potentially be expensive, with just 3 pay days to go. Also if you are eating out over the xmas period the restaurants book up early so you would need to be confirming dates and time snow to secure a booking.

Piffle11 · 16/09/2019 15:21

Stay at home if that’s what you want to do - Don’t give in to the emotional blackmail.

Drogosnextwife · 16/09/2019 15:23

My mum and dad split this year and I was "booked" by my dad at the beginning of August for Christmas day Confused he's not talking to me now though, so who knows how this year will go.

CroissantsAtDawn · 16/09/2019 15:27

As PP have said, it's not too early if you need to organize lots of different familys/work needs.

Maybe you could reply that you've already planned your Christmas Grin and can come Boxing day for one night?

If you tell her it's too early to commit it makes it sound like you're waiting for a better plan.

Use the opportunity to discuss with DH what you want to do and then tell her when you can make it.

Our Christmases are always the same as we have a tiny family and don't live in the same country as 70% of it....

cantfindname · 16/09/2019 15:30

After the 'problems' we had three years ago when my son and daughter and their families, plus myself were all so confused nothing was sorted out until the day before Christmas Eve we now tend to plan ahead a bit more! Well, beginning of December anyway. Daughter and I both assumed we would be hosting the other and son had arranged to go to his in-laws. Then DD realised her kitchen might not be finished in time so was coming here to me totally forgetting that she had invited DS to hers and he had cancelled his plans with in-laws to be with us all. I hastily invited son and DiL as well. To cap it all I became ill and there was no way I was going to manage to cook a meal for all so son re-invited himself to his in laws and DD said they would stay at home and cope with what cooking facilities they had.

Day before Christmas Eve resulted in frantic phone calls from DD 'My Kitchen is finished I want everyone to spend Christmas with me!' We all re-arranged plans yet again and actually had the best Christmas ever all together but, my goodness, it got confusing and we vowed to be more organised in future!