To delete friend who has joined an MLM

[lastqueenofscotland]

A lady I know from work has joined an MLM selling some sort of laxative coffee.
Her FB and instagram are covered in posts for it and about her promotions/trying to get a car etc etc.
She very much fits the profile of people they poach, she’s a SAHM and it’s been a squeeze of late for her.

I think MLMs are poisonous and I hate seeing her posts flogging this nonsense.
AIBU to remove her from my friend list

@drsausage 'hunbots' ahhh ha ha ha AMAZING!!!!! Adopting this now.

I did Ann Summers in my late teens 20 years ago. Pre Facebook. I advertised in local shops. Friends booked parties and their friends booked parties. People came to me, I didn't pester people and I didn't even attempt to recruit. I was one of the lucky few who did actually make some money, albeit not a huge amount (probably averaged £100 per month). I can honestly say I never lost money doing it. But this was before everything was easily accessible on the internet and before the days of pushy social media hunbots. I stopped when I got a new job in a field I wanted working shifts. Fast forward to 2014, in the throes of PND and not wanting to go back to work after maternity leave. Suckered into doing Usborne. I love books and wanted to encourage my children to love them too so seemed like a good idea. Failed from the outset because I refused to use my personal facebook page. I wont 'friend' people who aren't genuine friends so don't have many people on my facebook anyway. I did set up a 'business' (🙄) page which I shared once on my personal page but didn't invite people to it because I hate all the pushy selling tactics. No positive affirmations from me either. Ive never called anyone hun in my life and don't intend to just to sell overpriced products to more unsuspecting people. I soon discovered the books far cheaper on Amazon and quit before I got dragged into spending my own money on expensive stuff.
Long gone are the days of Tupperware parties, Avon calling and the fun of an Ann Summers party (if that was your cup of tea - I loved the social side of it!). Nowadays I actively avoid anyone selling MLM products. As my retail savvy husband says, if they were so good they would be in Debenhams, Harvey Nics and the like. I wouldnt delete a good friend over them selling MLM but I would unfollow them until they saw the light and stepped away from whichever scheme they had got involved with.

@YouokHun Thank you so much for that info! They've done quite a good job of obscuring the MLM angle, but I was pretty sure they were. My old schoolfriend is going hard on the "recruitment" angle on Facebook which was the giveaway. I watched that BBC doc about MLMs recommended upthread, and it was very enlightening. To her credit she hasn't been hounding much, she's started a separate instagram page and hasn't posted about her "business" on her personal FB at all this month, so I doubt it'll go anywhere.

(I'm not too sad - I call her a "schoolfriend" but she was a raging cunt to me at school and I shan't weep if she loses any money )

I find coffee laxative anyway but I have colitis.

The use of u instead of you:
That makes me more hatey than any laxative poo coffee.

Ah @Doidoit19 that sucks, I think you're so right - before social media was a must have, genuine word of mouth marketing between friends and their friends meant that the expectations were realistic.

A few years ago, people didn't have other sellers posting about working an hour a day for £££ etc so there wasn't this dreadful disparity between reality and promises.

Just out of interest (genuinely because you sound very sensible!) for the £100 profit a month how many hours including chatting to people and attending the parties do you think you used each month?

I think this is super important - one of my friends joined an MLM but she didn't at the time have business experience so didn't know the whole turnover is vanity, profit is sanity mantra.

She was gutted when we sat down together and worked out she was earning £3 an hour 😔 she could have got double that and then some in another job but got drawn in by the lure of "being your own boss" etc.

No training on the financials etc, she was just very pushed into "buy more to sell more" from her upline hunbot without being guided through the process of working out stock liability etc.

Makes me sad to see women (mainly mums IME) getting taken advantage of. I get some people do ok from it but I don't get why they can't say well yes I'm doing well but it's really awful that 98% of people aren't and I wish there was more support for new sellers etc.

It's ok to enjoy your job and still recognise there are areas that could be hugely improved. It just always seems to be a really aggressive defensiveness.

Idly wondering how many of these MLM recruits have more than a GCSE in maths. Because I'm pretty sure intermediate maths skills will expose the business model for what it is. And it also tells me that most people in the UK are bordering on functionally innumerate, which is an indictment of maths education.

Of course there are those who aren't persuaded by facts and figures , but if anyone can supply a suitable link that will show clearly and starkly that MLMs just Don't. Add. Up. it would be very useful.

@Sleeplessinsouthampton2019

Yes! I've heard of the water filter one! My sister was invited to lunch at some not close friend's house and I think there was a few people also there and they tried to sell her a saladmaster I think(or swindlemaster as I call them) and the water filter thing. She left the lunch gathering early if you can call it that,more like lunch sales pitch. No such thing as a free lunch eh?

Another one that's not cropped up is the MLM energy company one. We had a friend suddenly wanting to pay us a visit when she never in 5 years wanted to visit. She never visited at the old address and luckily she was visiting another friend who told us what it was after she'd been there. She had a friend with her trying to flog some energy company that you supposedly get a rewards card with etc etc but I looked up the details about them and no they don't save you money at all,and the rewards are pretty much useless, I found an old post on here about them so forwarded it to the friend who'd had the sales pitch.

As for hunbots, yes I had someone follow me on instagram who turned out to be one.
Never paid any attention until she DMed me "Hi love! How's it going? Yada yada yada" Yeah not using my name is really gonna convince me you're not selling something. Wanted to recruit me as one of her 'ladies'. Erm,I'm not even in the same continent for one!
Kept posting videos about having the lifestyle she wants and motivational crap ugh but she failed on one point as I don't even know what she was even selling but then maybe as I just scrolled on!
Someone with a huge amount of followers and as soon as I unfollowed,so did she!

I have one on Instagram who does it but she doesn't always post about it so shes fine although she does do the whole ' I have more time with the grandkids and can afford this lifestyle etc etc' when she does but she doesn't post much now.

Op, snooze her until she sees sense or mute her posts. I think there's a way to not see her posts without unfollowing, but cant remember how but I did do it once. I think I started a new group under custom lists and just put that person in it so I could check back every so often without it being in my feed.

@ChopinIn10Minuets this doesn’t explain why someone in MLM is wasting their time and money but it does give them a table to put down their costs in Black and White which sometimes helps them see what’s happening. mlmtruth.org/2019/07/16/tracking-your-mlm-finances/

botwatch.blog/2016/02/12/are-you-in-an-mlm-having-doubts/

The excellent Botwatch give a very good overview of the problems and provides a link to a further explanation of the flawed MLM model (the maths).

Saw this and thought it very apt!

The saladmaster scam works that you are invited to a party where you'll have a chef cooked meal and when you turn up it's a sales pitch where they supposedly make healthy food including a chocolate cake made out of cabbage(it tastes of cabbage!)and do a demonstration using bicarbonate of soda to show how unhealthy regular pans are and how these pans supposedly improve health. Utter BS.
If you do that with bicarbonate of soda and any pan, the effect is the same, it doesn't mean anything at all,smoke and mirrors!!!!!!!
Unfortunately my sister bought a set of the pans, something in the £1K region and the interest payments on the credit agreement have turned out to be something like almost 20%. She's tried to contact the guy
'this chef' but quelle surprise,he blocked her on FB,blocked her number so she's stuck with them,still paying and is fuming.
Another friend shelled out for a set as she's got a phobia of BPA plastic so I'm pretty sure this 'chef' probably played into that.

Oh and the Utility Warehouse scam...yes the friend of a friend was a nurse.

@CrystalShark You've hit the nail on the head there completely. Just had to say it.

@Doidoit19 it’s a shame about Usborne books. For some reason I find it much sadder that a legitimate publisher is an MLM. The make up ones you expect it from.

I think that you should stop following her

At least Usbourne put a warning on their website that you won’t make lots of money

I wonder how many of these business owners complete tax returns and inform DWP so any benefits can be adjusted accordingly.

@Oysterbabe I’m surprised by how many MLM sign ups have no concept of their self employed status and the need for tax returns (not that many ever achieve the tax threshold) and benefit adjustment.

I've recently had a couple of people I know get well in to Arbonne (sp?) Had a conversation with one of them who swore blind it's not an MLM. But most of their marketing is trying to recruit others to be #bossmums, live their best life and get a naff white Mercedes. The way they talk about it is well culty. It seems much more about that aspirational bollocks than any products (which are ££££). Am I wrong in thinking who are they kidding it's totally an MLM??

@ThatCurlyGirl It definitely was far less than minimum wage, although I never actually calculated it. The time going to the post office to send out the 'packs'(catalogues and invitations), then doing the actual party, sorting out the order by phone, packaging it up, delivering it. Swapping things that didn't fit, petrol money etc It was fairly involved. But I was 18, single and loved it. We used to have regular 'team meetings' that were basically just a night round our local town with the odd "how many parties have you got booked in?" comment thrown in between drinks. It paid for a few nights out (back in the days when I could go out, get suitably drunk and still have enough money for pizza and a taxi from £25!) But definitely isn't a career. Although funnily enough my husband started a new job earlier this year and one of the girls that also did parties back when I did works there too. Still doing parties 20 years later but also working full time monday to friday so clearly not a big money earner. I look back fondly on my time doing it because I didn't actually need the money, it was just a laugh. I couldn't think of anything worse now though

@Cookit

@Doidoit19it’s a shame about Usborne books. For some reason I find it much sadder that a legitimate publisher is an MLM. The make up ones you expect it from.

I agree. I actually really like their books but the prices they charge is bonkers when they are so much cheaper in shops. I'll still buy them, just not from their reps.

@Woodlandwitch

I didn't know they put that but they should remind their 'uplines' of it. I was contacted by the one two above me asking why my sales were so poor and with the promise I could give up my job if I put the effort in (I work part time shifts for the police who aren't renowned for amazing wages and theres no way in could have done that without alienating every person I knew)

Not at all, I actually had to go as I work full time, I have to keep to a strict schedule.

Doesn't that defeat the object Lucie?

@Vivianebrookskoviak Isn't there any way your sister can remove the authorisation/direct debit with her bank, so the bank refuses to process their payment? On account of the fact that you need to contact the seller but can't, so there is a dispute? At any rate, it is one way to flush the 'chef' out and force them to have to get in contact with your sister, to get the money. Go to fair trading or the ombudsman, and they'll support your sister as she has tried to contact the 'chef', she has done what she could to rectify the matter, yet she was blocked etc. Fair trading and/or the ombudsman will find in her favour, and possibly get her a refund. But she needs to cancel all payment authorisation first, and then get straight onto the relevant Depts to cover herself. No way would I pay it if the 'business' blocked me and I had no method to contact them to settle a dispute with my contract. Just get the bank to cease authorisation, and make sure she does it asap.

I'm saddened that Usborne has gone MLM too. Did they even "need" to? Were they struggling?

It's really sad. I have 5 pretty good friends that are doing it and more casual ones.

One friend actually sent me a long message about how she couldn't work because her son was autistic and any real friend would buy her Arbonne or her son would suffer.

I've another one that bounces from company to company.

Funnily enough, 4 of the five are or have been in really shitty relationships....

I just unfollow.

I think Usborne has always been an MLM of some kind, I remember when I was a kid my friends mam had wardrobes stuffed full of their books.