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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friday night pull

97 replies

Monty27 · 16/09/2019 03:48

I regularly frequent a local pub which is delightful.
I've been single for 3 years (totally single iykwim). Nobody in there catches my eye there's a great group of us that know each other very well so we're all mates male and female mostly partnered up.
About 3 weeks ago this totally stunning guy begins to come in regularly and it became a bit of a giggle between us mates.
To cut to the quick it turns out he's staying around the corner from me and we left the pub together and I invited him in for a drink as by now he's divulged that he broke up from his wife a year ago but had just learned stbxw is having a relationship. Clearly he's upset about it.
In he comes to my house and we chat a bit more over a gin and tonic.
Next thing I know he's launched upon me, I kissed him for a bit but he was being too amorous for my liking.
My 23 yo DS came home thank goodness and we all sat and chatted for a while. Gorgeous bloke (GB) goes to the bathroom and was taking ages.
DS went up to see if he was ok and discovered GB had gone to my bed.
DS gently got him to leave whilst I hid and cringed in the utility room above all places Shock as I couldn't handle the confront.
Off GB goes.... OMFG you should have seen the state he'd left the loo in. I am still retching every time I think of it.
I suppose it's a case of chalk it up to experience.
But I'm most unnerved to think things may have been worse had my DS not arrived home.
I've felt awful and vulnerable all weekend.
I'm not young. It's the first time I've even kissed anyone in 3 years.
😱 Sad

OP posts:
SpamChaudFroid · 16/09/2019 09:45

Jeezus, what is it with men shitting everywhere. I can honestly say, I've never shat myself in my life. Let alone going around shitting on peoples floors and leaving skiddy pants in strangers bins. Why can't men control their sphincters?

Justgivemesomepeace · 16/09/2019 09:47

Ive also had a sense of humour failure over this. Its the kind of thing you might have a laugh about years down the line but it could have turned out quite badly.
A lesson learned I suppose. Dont ever take a man home that you dont know very well.
I once invited someone in for a coffee after 1 date. When he realised he wasnt going to get sex he said 'well im going home for a wank then'.
That shook me up and its nowhere near as bad as what happened to you.

Bookworm4 · 16/09/2019 09:50

@SpamChaudFroid
Why can't men control their sphincters?
Best comment I’ve read in awhile 🤣🤣💩

MonChatEstMagnifique · 16/09/2019 09:51

Thank god your DS got rid of him before he peed in the wardrobe too.

Have you checked your wardrobe OP? 😬

But seriously, I'm glad your son came home and got rid of this man. Some peoples behaviour is truly shocking.

everyonecaneffoff · 16/09/2019 10:01

Yes tell your friends just that you didn't realise how stinking drunk he was and that your son had to help you chuck him out - warn any single friends off him!

I do think your friends should be warned. He could well turn up at the pub again and try it on with someone else who doesn't have another adult at home to remove him.
It's not about laughing at him etc. It's quite concerning from a safety aspect.

CoinOperatedBoy · 16/09/2019 10:09

Very lucky your son came home. I don't think it's funny at all, you could've been in danger. What if he'd refused to leave if the son hadn't of been there? Was he on drugs? I mean do people normally soil themselves after a few drinks?.... (not a big drinker)

Bet you are dreading seeing him again....

SuzieQ10 · 16/09/2019 10:12

Yuck. How disgusting.
I'd warn friends, personally. He sounds like an intrusive weirdo, at best!
I wonder if he'll apologise when you next see him.

krustykittens · 16/09/2019 10:17

You were lucky, OP. I am glad you can laugh about it today but please warn your friends. He is not a nice guy. Don't let it put you off dating either, there are plenty of good men out there!

zafferana · 16/09/2019 10:22

I'm really surprised at how many people seem to find this hilarious - it's not hilarious at all - it's horrible! This guy launched himself at the OP in her home, then got the shits in her bathroom and left it in a horrible state with his dirty underwear thrown in the bin, and he then climbed into her bed? That's not even remotely funny! Thank God your DS came home OP and was old enough and mature enough to get the guy out of your house. His personal habits are disgusting and who knows what he'd have done if you'd gone into your room alone and found him there? No wonder you're feeling shaken and vulnerable Flowers

MisterT373 · 16/09/2019 10:35

I may not be good looking but at least I'm toilet trained.

kaytee87 · 16/09/2019 10:41

@MisterT373 GrinGrin

MissLadyM · 16/09/2019 10:49

Christ this is horrific! Seriously though, thank god your son was there. Be careful who you let into your home!

gingersausage · 16/09/2019 10:54

@ElizaDee inviting someone for a drink is not inviting them to have sex with you ffs! I don’t think the OP needs “lessons” 🙄.

ElizaDee · 16/09/2019 10:57

@gingersausage I know that, but it seems some men don't. It's common sense not to invite people you don't know in to your house anyway. So obviously she does need lessons in dating safety Hmm

OccidentalPurist · 16/09/2019 11:10

Oh gawd OP - you got off lightly - that is one of the worst I've heard! A man with so little control of both his urges and bodily functions!

I'm trying to imagine how things would have gone if your DS hadn't come home - would he have stopped in the middle of trying to have sex with you, run upstairs for a poo, left his soiled pants in the bin, then come down and continued getting it on with a poopy botty!!

Don't keep it to yourself- warm others off him!! And I'm thinking he's a rare beast so don't be put off men!

OccidentalPurist · 16/09/2019 11:13

Also, I don't wholly agree with posters saying the OP shouldn't have brought him home. It sounds like he'd become a bit of a regular in her pub, so it wasn't exactly like bringing back a total stranger.

zafferana · 16/09/2019 11:17

And yes, I would be telling everyone you know in the pub about this man's very unpleasant habits. Good looking he may be, but other women need to know that he's a filthy bastard! If he wasn't good looking I don't suppose any of you would've noticed him. Remember that Ted Bundy was good looking too ... creeps of all kinds can hide behind good looks.

ElizaDee · 16/09/2019 12:04

@OccidentalPurist
About 3 weeks ago this totally stunning guy begins to come in regularly and it became a bit of a giggle between us mates.

CoinOperatedBoy · 16/09/2019 12:38

It's common sense not to invite people you don't know in to your house anyway. So obviously she does need lessons in dating safety hmm

I totally agree when it's drunk men you can't trust. I'd say most men who are invited back to a womans house will think "I'm in", and a too high percentage of them will not take no for an answer once they're in.

If he was a decent bloke he'd have backed right off when she pulled away and stumbled off to make a mess of his own lav....

Hope he massively, massively apologises OP.

Chandler913 · 16/09/2019 12:53

Thankfully things were OK and you've seen the funny side.. But also how vulnerable you are inviting strangers to your house. Chalk it up to experience but I'd be more wary in the future

ClaireElizabethBeauchampFraser · 16/09/2019 18:07

I agree with you @ElizaDee and @CoinOperatedBoy - inviting strange men back to yours (when you are alone) is dangerous.

If you invite a bloke back to yours (especially after drinking) they are going to expect or at least hope for sex. Just because the OP had been in the same pub as him (was it 3 times over 3 weeks?) doesn’t mean he was anything but a stranger. The OP seemed quite shocked that he made a pass at her and absolutely horrified that he went into her bedroom. Yet I have met far too many blokes who assumed they were entitled to sex due to an ‘invite’ back (usually by a well intentioned friend who had pulled their mate).

It is bloody awful that men feel entitled to sex due to a change of location. But it’s a good reason to play it safe and not invite a drunk strange bloke back to yours- especially when you are alone. Unless of course you want to have sex - then hopefully he is half decent and doesn’t decorate your bathroom with his fecal matter!

Crystal87 · 16/09/2019 18:22

Just goes to show don't judge someone on what they look like. They can be gorgeous and stunning but it doesn't mean they can't be a freak.

Original poster
Monty27 · 17/09/2019 01:09

Thanks everyone. Every single post was empathetic. There was absolutely no drugs.
He'd already had quite a bit. Had I realised how pissed he was I wouldn't have entertained it.
He probably wouldn't have either had he not been so pissed. Blush
Still I saw him earlier and he has apologised profusely. In a very Eton manner
He's completely rocked my life Shock

OP posts:
Original poster
Monty27 · 17/09/2019 01:11
  • I mean he'd already had quite a lot to drink
OP posts:
StudentHelp · 17/09/2019 01:25

That’s scary, OP! Glad you’re alright