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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friday night pull

97 replies

Monty27 · 16/09/2019 03:48

I regularly frequent a local pub which is delightful.
I've been single for 3 years (totally single iykwim). Nobody in there catches my eye there's a great group of us that know each other very well so we're all mates male and female mostly partnered up.
About 3 weeks ago this totally stunning guy begins to come in regularly and it became a bit of a giggle between us mates.
To cut to the quick it turns out he's staying around the corner from me and we left the pub together and I invited him in for a drink as by now he's divulged that he broke up from his wife a year ago but had just learned stbxw is having a relationship. Clearly he's upset about it.
In he comes to my house and we chat a bit more over a gin and tonic.
Next thing I know he's launched upon me, I kissed him for a bit but he was being too amorous for my liking.
My 23 yo DS came home thank goodness and we all sat and chatted for a while. Gorgeous bloke (GB) goes to the bathroom and was taking ages.
DS went up to see if he was ok and discovered GB had gone to my bed.
DS gently got him to leave whilst I hid and cringed in the utility room above all places Shock as I couldn't handle the confront.
Off GB goes.... OMFG you should have seen the state he'd left the loo in. I am still retching every time I think of it.
I suppose it's a case of chalk it up to experience.
But I'm most unnerved to think things may have been worse had my DS not arrived home.
I've felt awful and vulnerable all weekend.
I'm not young. It's the first time I've even kissed anyone in 3 years.
😱 Sad

OP posts:
boptist · 16/09/2019 08:02

I’m baffled by the idea of her being the toast of the town. It’s not something I’d be telling my friends Confused

KUGA · 16/09/2019 08:15

Close encounters of the turd kind springs to mind.
Your sons a hero by the way.

oohyoudevilyou · 16/09/2019 08:19

If that's how he behaves with someone new that he fancies hooking up with, imagine what his poor ex stbxw had to put up with! You dodged a bullet there, OP.

Heaboosh · 16/09/2019 08:20

Puts me in mind of a time I was at a house party and crashed over. One of the guys there (who I had spent time with on another night) crawled in beside me and asked me to "cuddle his boabby" (Scottish slang for penis). I cringed so much though didn't feel unsafe at all.

Deathraystare · 16/09/2019 08:26

Yuck! Well he is no longer gorgeous in your eyes!

everyonecaneffoff · 16/09/2019 08:29

Oh dear - sounds horrific. Lucky escape there.
Your son is a star!

I've been single since November after a LTR broke up and haven't felt in a position to start dating again - and stories like this are making me think I'll never bother with men again. I really don't want some gorgeous bloke coming round and shitting himself.

recklessruby · 16/09/2019 08:45

Could be worse. Imagine if you had gone to bed with him and woke up next to the monster shit Envy not envy.
Omg you would have to throw the whole bed out.Shock
Well done your ds!
OP you dodged a bullet.
And @snorkMaiden81 I have total respect for the cleaners in hotels.
That is beyond grim

BenWillbondsPants · 16/09/2019 08:48

Fucks sake. Why on earth would he think that it's OK to just get into your bed? I know people think it's funny etc and I may be having a sense of humour failure, but why the fuck did he think that the OP would be happy for him to go into her bed - just because they'd had a kiss? Did he just take that as the green light?

Don't even get me started on the shitty mess.

Boysey45 · 16/09/2019 08:51

I'd tell my friends after all you don't want any of them to go through this experience with the same man.
Even being drunk doesn't excuse that behaviour, a decent person would have apologised for having an accident. Personally I don't now anyone who would go and have a poo at a randoms house.
Just because someones good looking doesn't mean they are not a nutter OP. Look at Ted Bundy, he was good looking that's why he got away with it for so long.I'd tell him if I saw him again that I was disgusted by his behaviour and the mess he'd made etc.

Anothernotherone · 16/09/2019 08:59

I suppose he might well have been blackout drunk (as suggested by the disgusting underpants in the bin etc) and just crawled into a bed rather than expecting sex - seeing as he had his trousers on? Was he asleep? If so that's probably likely? Or was he awake waiting for you - in which case obviously he did think that was going to happen and was less drunk than in the passing out in the nearest bedroom to the bathroom scenario..

It is a funny story partly because of the contrast to your description of him as gorgeous, and because nothing bad actually happened beyond the yucky bathroom...

Your son sounds great though - was he embarrassed? Good argument for not encouraging adult offspring to move out ASAP! Smile

Hopefully he's more embarrassed (as he should be, he's the one who chucked his disgusting underpants in your bathroom bin and left the place in a state) and you'll never see him again.

burnttoastandjam · 16/09/2019 08:59

Sorry OP but I am chuckling. What an idiot!!! Thank goodness your DS came home!

ChevalierTialys · 16/09/2019 09:01

Next thing I know he's launched upon me, I kissed him for a bit but he was being too amorous for my liking.

DS went up to see if he was ok and discovered GB had gone to my bed.

I know people are laughing and treating this lightheartedly but to be honest I can see why you are shaken and I actually think this could have got pretty serious for you if DS had not come home.

The shit thing is a bit of a red herring. That's got people laughing, but there's a sinister side to this - it sounds like he wasn't prepared to take no for an answer.

If it were me, I'd make sure everyone in the pub knows about that side of it so no one else gets caught out like you were.

Are you feeling any better this morning OP?

Anothernotherone · 16/09/2019 09:02

Yes tell your friends just that you didn't realise how stinking drunk he was and that your son had to help you chuck him out - warn any single friends off him!

Playmytune · 16/09/2019 09:02

Now you know why he is single. However it wouldn’t be fair to tell everyone and make fun of him on Friday night in the pub.

Sorry to be the party pooper (genuinely typed that before realising what I had said Blush oops..) but if it was the was the other way round it wouldn’t be a laughing matter, just a complete embarrassment which you would hope wasn’t used against you.

Think he should be apologising to you though!

ClaireElizabethBeauchampFraser · 16/09/2019 09:10

Why on earth would you invite a drunk stranger into your house 🙈 - I would thank your lucky stars that your ds came home!

I always found that the ‘drop dead gorgeous’ guys were entitled assholes when I was younger- I guess they continue to be assholes even as they age!

Span1elsRock · 16/09/2019 09:13

He must have been very drunk is all I can say.

Please don't invite complete strangers into your home again, though. You were lucky this time.

Flowers
Luaa · 16/09/2019 09:15

He was either very drunk or is a proper weirdo.

You shouldn't worry about seeing him, but hopefully he'll be very embarrassed to see you! I'd tell your friends about it and have a good laugh at him.

Imagine making that mess and not even trying to clean it up. I'd be making my excuses and leaving very quickly, not sneaking into someone's bed after that!

gingersausage · 16/09/2019 09:28

@Playmytune of course it’s fair to tell everyone. The next person he tries it on might not have someone at home to look out for them.

WipeYourFeetOnTheRhythmRug · 16/09/2019 09:31

"I know people are laughing and treating this lightheartedly but to be honest I can see why you are shaken and I actually think this could have got pretty serious for you if DS had not come home."

Me too - it's a horrible story and I get why you feel vulnerable, OP. Flowers

MoreCuddlesForMummy · 16/09/2019 09:34

A guy I had a ONS with (who I worked with but thankfully not regularly) did a massive diarrhoea shit in the middle of my kitchen floor not long before I met DH. I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone before. I had to scoop it up with a dustpan and brush (with the worst hangover of my adult life) and it left a stain on the link and I had to get new stuff because every time I saw the stain in my kitchen it made me think of hangovers and diarrhoea and a terrible ONS.

I feel you OP. Hope you don’t bump into him anytime soon! 😂😂

MoreCuddlesForMummy · 16/09/2019 09:36

I do totally appreciate your close call. Good job DS came home 💐

ElizaDee · 16/09/2019 09:37

Use this as a lesson not to invite people you don't know into your home. This could have gone so much worse than just gross.

BigusBumus · 16/09/2019 09:39

If he was asleep in the bed then he was probably drunk and had a beer shit in your bathroom and was too woozy to clean it up or think straight, just wanted to lie down and go to sleep.

If he was wide awake in the bed then its likely he'd taken either coke or speed (both make you shit within minutes of taking and for about an hour after) and got into bed with the intentions of sex.

Either option is not great! You had a lucky escape and i hope he feels embarrassed as hell now.

Funghi · 16/09/2019 09:41

Grim.

You’ve been very unlucky OP, he sounds like a twat. Maybe next time a handsome man frequents the pub try and integrate him into the group so you and your friends can get to know him over time. Hopefully you’ll avoid another shitgate.

kaytee87 · 16/09/2019 09:44

I am laughing at the poo and pants situation but a previous poster is right that it's good your son came home and was mature enough to deal with it in a calm way.

Imagine leaving his shitty drawers in your bathroom 🤮😷

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