If pets were on 'Am I being unreasonable?'

[AmbiguousAlex]

I'm unable to understand why more of my dog treats haven't been bought and also why I haven't been the only one who has had them. I mean they're made for dogs so that means they're only for dogs, right? No other animals like Syrian hamsters for example can have them? I've had none since the beginning of this week, I've tried multiple times to let my owner know that I'd like some only to be shown an empty plastic Chinese takeaway carton more times than I can count and I'm beginning to get so fed up to the point where I'm just randomly going into the bedroom a few times per day to argue and throw my weight around.

Things blew up this evening though! I immediately sat down near the two Syrian hamster cages after I had barged in and before I knew I was in the midst of a breakdown. All I can remember was staring at my owner right in the eyes whilst shaking and letting out a continuous growl that got louder and louder to the point where I thought there was a bloomin' earthquake happening. All I wanted was to desperately get the attention of my horrible owner so that they could open the cage door and get the small bit of treat that was left so I could get my meaty fix.

So, was I being unreasonable to have a massive tantrum over my dog treats tonight? Please let me know. 🐶

AIBU - or is this abuse?

I like the water in the mini pond out the back, but my parents refuse to keep my adoptive little brother (who's an absolute shit to me and literally craps in the garden like a fox when he isn't murdering my pet mouse farm under the shed) inside whilst I delicately nibble on 100 individual blades of the grass, have a couple of Sips and then meditate upon the patio before coming in to use my tray like the civilised being I am. OK, he does protect me from any random cat walking along the back wall, but I still hate him. As I can't possibly drink from a bowl or tolerate him being within ten foot of me, I come back in and then get very thirsty - and they shut the door as it gets dark because he can't be trusted not to get stuck behind the shed, so I can't meditate and drink my lovely, green water.

The only way I can drink water indoors is for the humans to run the upstairs bathroom tap, I stand on the sink or the back of the toilet and then delicately lap away once the sink is overflowing. I used to lower myself to drinking from glasses, but they didn't like it, so switched to things called 'reusable bottles' and I have to make do with the porcelain sink instead.

Well, they have started telling me that the sink is full and splashing the stale, 5 minute old sink of water. They're even saying that there's nothing wrong with it and sometimes pretend to add more than a tiny drip to it, making me think that it's fresh.

This is Gaslighting, right?

Cat 1 - My human is so unreasonable. I'm only asking to be fed every 6.4 seconds and tbf they keep walking in to the kitchen multiple times a day so can feed me more than twice a day. Okay, so i eat both my brothers food, but they should know to eat quickly its their fault.

Cat 2 - why is this place full of humans! In my house...humans, outside...humans. i know they are just waiting for their chance to eat me. I shall avoid at all costs, unless my personal human is wearing something that my white hair will look spectacular on.

Cat 3 - oi, human. You're sitting in my seat. Its fine, i can squeeze in this tiny gap, and if not well I'll just sit on your chest. Mini humans, i will attack your legs every time you walk past. Deal with it.

My Mum never wants to play throw the stinky ball fetch the stinky ball in the middle of the night. I've tried waking her at 2 am, and she threw it a couple of times then said 'go to sleep, go to sleep'. When I tried again the next night she pretended she needed to go to the toilet and hid in there for half an hour and when she came back I'd fallen asleep. She's totally selfish. Throw the stinky ball is an outstanding game at all times.

Are we being unreasonable to want to give the human puppy loads of kisses and snuggle with him in his basket? We love him so much, but our horrible mother says we're not allowed to kiss him, and we're not allowed anywhere near his basket .

She also says we have to stop shouting at any strangers who come near him. We're only trying to keep him safe! She doesn't appreciate us at all.

DB wouldn't let me sit on him. WIBU to leave a dead mouse in his bed?

AIBU to think that mummy is a control freak?

She shuts me outside when I catch Mr & Mrs Blackbird's fledgelings

She won't let me outside in the dark to eat the moths

She won't let me bring my butterfly collection indoors

She won't let me have any food outside of my designated snack times because the nasty vet man said I was fat and overweight by a whole kilo and I've got to go back next month and mummy can't face the talk that the vet will give her if I haven't shifted the kilo. I do not hear this when the vet man says it because I'm too busy hiding under mummy's jumper....

She won't let me have any of her dinner (see point above)

She embarrasses me by squirting the neighbourhood cats (with water) that sit in my front garden because she says that I'm a bit of a bruiser and she can't face the other humans if I 'damage' the other cats when I tell them to fuck off with my claws. We watched "IT" the other night and now I imagine that mummy's squirty bottle contains battery acid!

She won't let me chase squirrels because she says that a squirrel can rip my throat out and I'll come off worse - I mean really??? It's a fucking squirrel - what's not to like???

And the very worst bit is that she calls ME her 'slightly controlling fluffy boyfriend'. I love my mummy and show her how much by having solo fun time with her favourite blanket (that's on her bed) at bedtime while staring at her. Honestly it's all take, take, take.......

Why does my owner shout at me when I bark?
I mean, I'm a dog! I'm supposed to bark FFS!
How else is a burglar gonna be scared off?
And how am I supposed to know that the little old lady who bimbles past isn't eyeing the place up, hey?
Or that the postie isn't gonna sneak in and have your jewellery down to Ramsdens before you can say shut up?
Yes I know it makes you cross when I bark at other dogs, but for god's sake woman, I've got to show them whose boss here. I can't have them yomping round taking the piss can I!!
Especially when you put that bloody ridiculous diamante collar on me. Yes I know it was a birthday present but FFS woman, I mean really??

Ever since she discovered I was eating the cat food left out for the hedgehog she has now removed my pre-dinner patio snacks. Aibu to eat the hedgehog?

AIBU to think my DH(humans) are a bit weird....they take photos of me when I'm asleep...Also I feel like they're playing mind games as they snuggle right up to my face and tell me I'm so cute...but when I try to to lick inside their mouths (because their mouths smell yummy like human food) they say its gross...

AIBU to save my energy during the day so that I can play with my mum when she finally stops and lies down? She seems to get annoyed when I run up and down her duvet, and punch her in the face (I don’t even use my claws!). I don’t feel she fully appreciates the sacrifice I’m making by sleeping through the day (on her pillow), in order to have time for her at night.

Gpig1: AIBU to think that being outside stuffing myself with grass all day does not mean I don't need any tea? And to think the fact that I can't see my feet anymore is not relevant to this issue? It's fat shaming, pure and simple.

Gpig2: AIBU to leap in the air and squeak dramatically every time someone tries to brush my rear end? I have not given consent. I think there are red flags all over this relationship. If I want poo and wee encrusted dreadlocks that is up to me, right?

AIBU to stick to the man human like glue? Ok so the women cuddle me when I'm unwell, let me drink from a special mug when I'm unwell, they dry me off, play with me, get me new toys. But man human feeds me lots and lets me on the settee even when I'm wet! There's no contest really is there?

AIBU to not open my mouth when the vet asks? I had an infection apparently- I don't know what that is but what if they want to take it off me? No one can have MY infection. WIBU to bite my humans when they tried? I get 'put under' which woman human says is bad for me and man human moans at the expense. I quite like getting cuddled by a nice nursey until I fall asleep. I am groggy when I wake up but I get handfed my biscuits so it's all a win really

WIBU to not want my humans giggling when I try to sit up but cant? I am not drunk, nor cute nor like a baby. I am fierce. I tried to shout to voice my displeasure but my mouth wouldn't work properly. That annoyed me even more.

AIBU to bark at big dogs? Little dogs don't bother me (well apart from chihuahuas, sly things) as I know I'm bigger than them. But Dalmatians etc think they're scarier than me. They're not, I am a terrier. I like barking and seeing them run off. I rule!

AIBU to pull all my toys back? Man human tries putting them back but I pull them out agajnm they're my toys, not his. If he wants to play he can ask the woman human for his own.

AIBU to think the Man human must be a naughty boy? He never gets new toys, or belly rubs or lovely chicken like I do. Clearly he's not deserving.

AIBU to follow man human at all times doy goodness can rub off on him and he can get treats too? Not that he's grateful

AIBU to want to play with the spikey thing? It hurt my poor nose before - female human gave me fusses- but we can make friends surely? Or I can play with it? If I'm out looking for it, male human comes and brings me in. Spoilsport

I'm in an extremely controlling relationship with my owner. She tells me off all of the time. Withholds food from me and doesn't let me speak to my friends. I have tried many, many times to leave her but she always finds me eventually. I once got 7 miles from home and ended up at a lovely woman's house, she was amazing. Fed me chicken and gave me a blanket. I thought I'd found a new owner and my life was back on track but nope, she came to my new house, and took me back in the horrible car. I cried and screamed the whole way home! It isn't the worst thing she's done! When I was just a child she had me mutilated and parts of my body cut off. I felt like less of a man. And to make things worse she told all of the family what she had done. They all agreed, said it was for the best. She must have them brainwashed too. I'm still traumatised and check for my dangly bits daily to see if they return. After this incident I remember her forcing me to wear a horrible plastic collar that made it hard for me to sleep, eat or lick myself. It was so embarrassing. We even went to the park with me wearing it so she could publicly humiliate me in front of all of my friends.

I can't live like this anymore. I try to tell everyone I see that she holds me captive and they need to help but she physically forces me to stay in the kitchen if I dare try to shout for help to visitors. Nobody cares and I'm all alone.

She taunts me by eating lovely food and doesn't give me anything but scraps. I have the same meal 3 times a day. I try to play nice and give her hugs and kisses in the hopes of getting on her good side but she is so set in her ways! She treats me like an idiot.

The kids are bad too! I'm a big dog and this house has furniture everywhere! They've nicknamed me dumbo as I bump into things a lot! It's humiliating.

The RSPCA are no help. Apparently I am a very well looked after dog and they condone all of my owners actions. The only person I can talk to about this is my girlfriend (and ndn), but I can only talk to her for a few seconds before my owner tells me to shut up and get inside my girlfriend and I aren't allowed spend time together without a chaperone. And any attempt to dig or jump the fence to get to her is met with verbal abuse from both of our owners. We are only allowed to play together twice a day on walks (on a lead ) and it just isn't enough. It's a modern day Romeo & Juliet.

AIBU?
She says 'let's go for a walk' then spends 10 minutes finding my lead, getting her shoes on and then finding lost house keys....can't the stupid woman see I'm waiting at the door and my adrenaline is pumping through my little veins.
'Hurry up an wait' springs to mind! Uuurgh!

Omg Im crying with laughter this is the best think I have ever read!

AIBU to wonder why you can't get the staff these days?

My human is for the most part well trained (good recall, usually responds to most different tones of miaow within a few guesses, which is not bad considering the puny size of her brain). But every so often she insists on putting vile smelling stuff on the nape of my neck which leaves my fur tasting horrible for days.

Would I be unreasonable to vomit on her freshly laundered duvet? If I do it just after she's gone out on the prowl in the morning (side issue - anyone any idea where they go to?) it'll have plenty of time to soak into the duvet.

My minder bought me wet food this week can you imagine. She put it down with a coaching smile and I stared at her offended. It stunk to high heaven as well. I would much rather have what she is having. Plus I like the dry food a lot more then she thinks. At least this new one gives me tuna and chicken unlike the other one. She tried to make me vegetarian! Cats can't be vegetarian.

Also this new minder has bought something that whirls loudly a couple of times a week. The human go into dry but come out wet. It's just so loud!

The human clothing, not the human.

I’m a big boy. I have big bones, and a thick head of fur. I’m very heavy, but I carry it off well. I’m not fat ok. AIBU to think that my human shouldn’t be buying me collars with DO NOT FEED written on? I find it really offensive. I’ve lived here for 5 months now, and have ‘lost’ four of these collars, but they keep buying me more.

It’s doubly hurtful because, if anyone needs one of those collars, it’s my human. Talk about double standards.

And another thing! Biscuits!
My cow of a owner buys the best biscuits ever. Then she sits there scoffing them with other humans!
I sit in front of her giving it cow eyes, putting my paw on her knee and licking my chops to stop my drool from pooling on the floor.
And what does the jack cow do?? She puts the last morsel of jammy deliciousness in her mouth and gives me a bonio instead.
I mean, a fucking bonio! Really?!?!
If I knew how to work that thing that she plays with called a phone or something, I would be booking myself into Battersea Dogs Home!

I have just eaten my own body weight in roast pork.... and my mummy pinched a crispy bit I could have had. I whined until the flow of pork resumed.... AIBU?

My hoomin is implacable. She whines all day long that me and my sister leave our toys out and she's always putting them back so we thinks to selves - halp the hoomin and gets extra nibbles and face rubs right? So I gently biffed the hot steamy thing she rubs on her clothes and it nosedived into the ceramic doggy bowl... It had a few litres of water in it and may have obliterated a bit but she shouldn't have double standards and leave her toys out, right? There is no pleasing some hoomins. Can anyone recommend a good trainer? Can pay in toy mouses, nose biffs and midnight foot attacks.

Every cat knows life is about eating, sleeping and playing! There used to be something else, according to DSis - but the woman spoke crossly to the vets about how she asked me to have the snip, but the vet said to wait until the end of the month; and we “were at it like rabbits” all weekend (how are cats like those dimwit bunnies), me and DSis had a surprise visit to the vets and now I’ve forgotten what it was!

Anyway, AIBU to think people should calm down and stick to eating, sleeping and playing like us? Why are they always so busy, with pointless activities with machines - like playing with their teeth, standing in the hot rain until they are soaked; putting clothes in the big spinning machine and walking up and down the grass to name but a few? (Admittedly, when they play with the little fires in the kitchen, they do produce some first class meat - much better than what we get!)

Cat - Why do they shout at me when I randomly bite the annoying toddler, I only want to get him to chase or pet me.

AIBU for escaping to shit in the garden? I don't want to poop in my more than 3 times a day changed litter tray. It is totally beneath me.