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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pulling out of house purchase last minute

136 replies

nachosTrafficante · 15/09/2019 18:09

We’re about to pull out of a house sale...due to basically changing out minds. I feel awful especially for our buyer who has been waiting for us to fins somewhere and has just had survey down. I want to offer to pay for his survey as I feel dreadful.

Well then have survey I suppose.

OP posts:
ChangeOfTides · 15/09/2019 18:10

Yes, that’s a shitty thing to do to everyone involved. You should indeed be feeling guilty.

Bellsofstclements · 15/09/2019 18:11

This reply has been deleted

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WaterSheep · 15/09/2019 18:12

Unless there's a massive drip feed about why you have changed your minds, I think YABVU.

MT2017 · 15/09/2019 18:13

YABU. It's not a game and you will royally fuck up someone else's day when you do it.

But not to worry, it's only you changing your mind Hmm

IncognitaIgnorama · 15/09/2019 18:13

You aren't the people who've been messing my DSIL about for months, are you? If so, you suck - you've cost them thousands, and may you never find another buyer.

Original poster
nachosTrafficante · 15/09/2019 18:13

Well dh is one whose leading dropping it at this late stage, he’s had doubts for a while but has only just definitively said it.

I’m upset and annoyed. So he’s being more of a git than me...

OP posts:
GotToGoMyOwnWay · 15/09/2019 18:13

Why are you pulling out? Cold feet? Brexit uncertainty? Or change in circumstances? Think it depends.

My buyer had to pull out of a house purchase years ago as they’d been made redundant. Not much they could do about it.

But Shitty or not at the end of the day you need to do what’s right for you.

Original poster
nachosTrafficante · 15/09/2019 18:14

No definitely not you DIL.

OP posts:
Puffthemagicdragongoestobed · 15/09/2019 18:14

Yep, really shitty. We have just been on the receiving end off this process. Had spent over £2000 on survey and legal costs. Been very excited about the move. Then vendors changed their mind, 2 months into the process.
I feel like suing them!!

lemonsandlimes123 · 15/09/2019 18:15

It's an awful thing to do. The least you can do is pay for their survey. If you pay for their survey and then ask for it it would just be adding insult to injury as what need would you have for it unless you are shortly intending to sell to another party.

LadyTabasco · 15/09/2019 18:15

you may still get charged the estate agents fee, check your contract

Bellasblankexpression · 15/09/2019 18:15

Why have you changed your mind op?

MT2017 · 15/09/2019 18:17

Op it was you in the plural as you had said

We’re about to pull out of a house sale...due to basically changing out minds

bridgetreilly · 15/09/2019 18:17

I thought buyers always pay for the survey, not vendors? You definitely shouldn't be landing them with that bill.

IrishMamaMia · 15/09/2019 18:17

I wouldn't feel too bad, it's a huge decision and obviously a part of you feels it isn't right. I've had a seller do this to me. It was shit but that's how buying and selling works in England, you can pull out at a pretty late stage.

AudacityOfHope · 15/09/2019 18:17

You have to do what's right for you; you can't buy a house you don't really want to live in, just because it might be shitty for the other people involved.

It really sucks, but sometimes life does.

IAmALazyArse · 15/09/2019 18:19

How long were you stringing that buyers about?
Shitty, shitty thing to do

GotToGoMyOwnWay · 15/09/2019 18:20

You’ll be slagged off on here but I still think you need to do what’s right for you & your family. But I would offer to pay for any expenses occurred. Our seller had to delay our purchase as his wife was taken ill & they couldn’t complete (after exchange). Luckily our buyer was ok with it. We delayed by 2 months but our seller met everyone’s expenses. Different situation I know but shit does happen.

misspiggy19 · 15/09/2019 18:22

YANBU- yes it’s a shitty thing to do but you can’t help how your feeling.

Your offer to pay for the survey costs would be the moral thing to do

eeksville · 15/09/2019 18:25

On Mumsnet the general consensus is pulling out of a house purchase is akin to eating babies. Having second thoughts about spending hundreds of thousands of pounds is not allowed. Yes it does suck but you have to do what's right for you.

Teachermaths · 15/09/2019 18:25

Shit thing to do. Offer to cover all of their costs.

Is it a big chain?

relax2 · 15/09/2019 18:26

Well do what you need to do but we almost did this, actually we did not as far in as you but about 4/5 weeks after we had our offer accepted because basically our solicitor was shocking and didn't explain things properly. We are first time buyers so when the survey flagged something huge up we thought we had Better not buy. Rang solictor (who had been so slow from the start) and pulled out , she sent it over to the estate agent straight away who contacted me. The estate agent explained the issue could be solved and so she saved the sale - I am so glad we proceeded now, we love our new house 😍

If there's a reason see if it can be solved , if not and you just don't want to buy then pull out. Yes it's mean to the vendor but hey ho life sucks sometimes we have to make sure things are right .

IAmALazyArse · 15/09/2019 18:34

I think @relax2 misread. OP changed her mind selling. That's it

DramaFarmer · 15/09/2019 18:35

Oh for heavens sake!

I have sold 3 flats / houses now and every time a buyer pulled out. Straight back on the market, found a new one.

It isn’t what anyone wants but I’m the end in our system you are not under contract til you exchange, and everyone is at risk, and you shouldn’t be guilt tripped into going through with something that costs you undress if thousands of ££ and s huge chunk of your income for 25 years if it isn’t right.

Not great but it is what it is.

relax2 · 15/09/2019 18:36

Oh gosh I did , soz , speed reading in between sorting Sunday school stuff 🙈 my bad! Sorry