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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Pulling out of house purchase last minute

136 replies

nachosTrafficante · 15/09/2019 18:09

We’re about to pull out of a house sale...due to basically changing out minds. I feel awful especially for our buyer who has been waiting for us to fins somewhere and has just had survey down. I want to offer to pay for his survey as I feel dreadful.

Well then have survey I suppose.

OP posts:

sofato5miles · 16/09/2019 08:21

OP if you have doubts, you are right to pull out.

It is a HUGE investment. Yes, I get it is stressful and upsetting for the seller but you cannot make a decision like this just to people please. That is frankly ridiculous.

GotToGoMyOwnWay · 16/09/2019 08:22

^ this!

MyCatProbablyHatesYou · 16/09/2019 08:26

If it really is last minute, you shouldn't just pay their survey fee, you should pay their search fees and their solicitor fee which they will likely still be charged a portion of.

Yabbers · 16/09/2019 08:29

Yes, that’s a shitty thing to do to everyone involved. You should indeed be feeling guilty.

Sure. Much better to spend hundreds of thousands on a house you decide you don’t want. Just to spare their feelings.

It happens. Every buyer understands that. If the house is a good deal and is worth buying, another buyer will come along soon. If it isn’t the OP dodged a bullet.

KUGA · 16/09/2019 08:30

It is a horrible thing to do so ate in the day,but I suppose you cant spend a heck of a lot of money on somewhere you wont be happy.
I am GUTTED for the sellers though,and they will have spent a lot of money for nothing.
I would find that hard to digest tbh.

Bluntness100 · 16/09/2019 08:32

Why would you possibly make an offer and take it this far if you weren't sure?

MyCatProbablyHatesYou · 16/09/2019 08:33

The OP is selling, not buying.

NearLifeExperience · 16/09/2019 08:33

If the house is a good deal and is worth buying, another buyer will come along soon. If it isn’t the OP dodged a bullet

OP is the seller, not the buyer

MyCatProbablyHatesYou · 16/09/2019 08:35

It's like cancel the cheque all over again

Bluntness100 · 16/09/2019 08:36

That makes even less sense then if you're the seller. Why would you offer your house for sale, accept an offer, if you actually were not sur you wished to sell?

Were you bored or something?

HugoSpritz · 16/09/2019 08:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tonnerre · 16/09/2019 08:41

Bluntness, people's life circumstances change. It's not too hard to imagine, is it?

I once came across a case where a couple had to pull out of a sale after exchanging contracts because the husband had a total nervous breakdown at the prospect of moving. It cost them a fortune because they were obviously liable both to their purchasers and the people they were buying from, and they were also effectively stuck in that house forever despite being quite elderly and really needing to move to a smaller bungalow due to mobility issues. Sometimes there are human tragedies behind these cases.

IAmALazyArse · 16/09/2019 08:42

It's not about sparing someone's feelings.
It's about the fact that if someone pulls out after long time and when number of things have been paid already it costs the other side shedload of money.
If my seller pulled out towards the end, I wouldn't be able to just go and find another house. I would have to put it all on hold and save up again.
So would number of people.
Which would mean I would also have to find another rental.

Considering that OP herself said that the buyers actually waited for her and DH to find somewhere, I would hazard a guess it was at least 3 months and that is a shit thing to do after all that time

WombatChocolate · 16/09/2019 08:47

I think OP needs to learn a lesson from this - that you don't enter into these things and progress them unless you are serious. A mature buyer knows this.....and they have been immature which is to someone else's cost. They need to think more carefully next time.

To those who are hugely outraged, we all know that until exchange, anyone can pull out. That is how it works and although we don't like late pull-outs, gazumpers and all the rest, they aren't illegal and we all know that selling and buying is risky and costs are incurred as you progress which will be lost if it all falls through. It's how it is.

Personally I don't think Op needs to offer money for the survey etc, but to offer a token gesture might be kind. The costs the sheer has incurred could be numerous and it's unlikely Op will want to pay for all. Therefore, if she really wants she could offer £500 as a 'small apology' and send an email via the estate agent to apologise. The apology email is more important in my view. I probably wouldn't offer money.

I don't think Op should go ahead if she has doubts. The costs and long term consequences are too great. Unfortunately the let-down seller will have to suck up the losses they have incurred.

Op will no doubt pull out, feel a bit bad for a very short while (whilst actually still blaming DH to avoid feeling so bad) and quickly move on. The best thing they could take from this is to think more carefully about what they want before letting a sale proceed so far in future. Unfortunately some people will do this multiple times.

NearLifeExperience · 16/09/2019 08:49

people's life circumstances change. It's not too hard to imagine, is it?

Did you actually read the OP? OP's circumstances haven't changed, they've just changed their minds.

GotToGoMyOwnWay · 16/09/2019 08:50

@Tonnerre that doesn’t surprise me. My dad didn’t really want to move out of the family home due to stress.

Without my dm & siblings insisting they’d have still been there. They needed to move because it needed so much work doing to it that just wasn’t feasible at their age. If it hadn’t been for that I think they’d have stayed.

Floopily · 16/09/2019 08:50

eeksville How many people on here would accept another higher offer (say 10k plus) after agreeing to sell to another buyer (who has spent money on fees/surveys)? It's not as common in London as it was once but it still happens a lot so I will always do what's right for me. Having said that I've never pulled out of a sale but who knows I may do in the future.

That exact thing happened to us. Sold at asking the day we went on the market, then the chain collapsed a bit further down and we couldn't wait for them to find new buyers (buying a new build and under pressure from the developer to sell quickly). Accepted another offer 10k under asking from FTBs, then original buyer came back saying all sorted and her offer of full asking price still stood.

We refused because although we really really could have done with that 10k it would be a shitty thing to do to people who'd instructed a solicitor and paid for surveys, and were so excited they were buying our house as they'd been looking for months to find something they liked within their budget. So we sucked it up and hoped that karma would repay us at some point for doing the right thing

Bluntness100 · 16/09/2019 08:51

Bluntness, people's life circumstances change. It's not too hard to imagine, is it?

Eh? She says they just changed rheir minds.

NearLifeExperience · 16/09/2019 08:51

Unfortunately the let-down seller will have to suck up the losses they have incurred

Altogether now everyone...

OP is the seller, not the buyer!!

WaterSheep · 16/09/2019 08:52

people's life circumstances change. It's not too hard to imagine, is it?

Of course people's circumstances change, and although frustrating no one would hold it against the seller if there was a reason. However in this case the OP has changed her mind, but there doesn't seem to be an actual reason for doing so.

eeksville · 16/09/2019 08:56

@Floopily I wish more sellers were as moral as you. It happened to me twice and we just couldn't afford the extra money (20k plus) to hold onto the purchase. Because it's happened to me I wouldn't do it but it's very common.

MortgageHelpPlease · 16/09/2019 09:07

It's not about sparing feelings. It's the fact this buyer will have likely spent a lot of money, not just on a survey but their searches, solicitors fees which they may still have to pay etc...

As a PP said, this for a lot of people, means having to go away and save up again before being able to buy a house because not everyone just has spare cash to throw away because someone changed their mind.

You should never have come this far if you were sure.

ScotsinOz · 16/09/2019 11:34

@DappledThings most people can secure their next house before selling (though I’m sure some can’t), but you can always sign subject to sale. A vendor is normally only interested in that if they haven’t got much interest from other people and want to sell. If that is the case then the agent selling the vendors house will normally become the agent selling the person who wants to buy the house current house and has approx 6 to 8 weeks to do it. The agent will work to sell the second home as it means the first sale goes through and he gets two commissions.

Problem with signing one of these contracts is that the vendor will normally have a clause allowing them to accept another offer that is not subject to anything (and is how I secured my current home at $200k less than asking as I was a cash buyer and they needed to move fast).

Some people who are building need to sell to afford to build and will state that they are only interested in selling to a person who will then rent the home to them for say 6 months. I purchased two investment properties this way as I had a guaranteed tenant from settlement date.

You can also get bridging finance to pay for both properties, but the interest is quite high.

Personally I have never understood why people are desperate to line up moving from their current house to their next one and are happy to hold everyone else up. If you can’t find a property you like or yours falls through, just rent/stay with family etc until you purchase something else - it’s not a big deal.

As for the poster who says she sued the person who delayed settlement on her property, unless contracts had been exchanged, surely you have no legal recourse?

Confusedbeetle · 16/09/2019 11:39

Did you go ahead withthis deal flippantly? I hope you ahve got REALLY GOOD reasons as this is an awful thing to do to another family and also anyone else in a chain. Do not enter another sale lightly

HugoSpritz · 16/09/2019 12:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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