To expect ex to pay nursery fees on “his” days?

[Maccapacca88]

Never had maintenance from ex but he does have the dcs 3 nights a week. He was working part time and was going to care for them on his 2 weekdays off to avoid nursery fees.

He has now got a full time job and is claiming he can’t pay the 2 days a week and expects me to, but still wants them in the evenings!

I’m totally stuck because I need him to have the kids on those evenings as I have to work at home. Equally I can’t afford the extra nursery fees to enable him to work!

bibidy i agree, i was replying to the couple of posts above me, i should have been more clear.

I think OP and her ex need to come to an arrangement which is fair to them both which is why i asked about UC (haven't RTFT just skimmed so she might have answered this already)

Are you able to claim the 30 hours at all?

@Love51 in law there is no head parent. If a mother dropped dead tomorrow - and it does happen - then fathers have not choice but to step up.

OP "suggest" that contact arrangements are changed to eow and drop the days in the middle of the week during term time. Make sure the eow includes Friday night so you get some respite. Explain that it would be in the best interests of the children to spend full days with him at the weekend.

Then as PPs said go through the CMS for child maintenance.

Do not get into arguments with him on this as there is no need. He's made his position clear that he's an a-hole and you are going to have arguments with him about the kids spending the holidays with him when they go to school.

cola I know that head parent isn't a legal term. However, should a mother drop dead, the children don't always go to their father. If he isn't competent, social care often place children with other family members. A former colleague of mine had care of her late sisters boys, with learning disabilities, and their dad had occasional visits to give her respite. Loads of kids stay with a stepparent, auntie, grandparents. If someone isn't a competent parent, the death of the child's other parent won't magically make them be able to prioritise their children. Which is pretty rubbish for the children.