To think it isn’t ok for a man to call you a little bitch just because he’s gay?

[Rapidmama]

We’ve reclaimed that for our own no? If a woman refers to another women as a biatch or jokes oh you little bitch it does not carry the same weight as a man using that word?

I was called a little bitch yesterday but a man at WORK of all places. According to other office staff it’s ok because he’s gay and quite camp and that’s just who he is. I object to being called a bitch by anyone with a cock regardless of where they like to put it.

AIBU?

It’s not acceptable at all, from any gender- but is it possible he thinks it’s acceptable/ok because women in the office also use the word at work?

YABVU to suggest it's ok for women to use 'bitch', or infer that it's an acceptable word in any way at all. It isn't. Women calling other women bitch gives the message to men that hey, it's ok, we're cool with it. You can't pick and choose. It's a vile word used to put women in their place, and only a very strange sort of woman would want to reinforce that.

Being gay doesn't change the fact you are a man

Also, this. Gay men are just as capable of misogyny as straight men. My gay friends are lovely, but they're still men with all the inherent privileges that bestows upon them. Some gay men I've known have been hideous misogynists who seemed to get a free pass - particularly from women - on account of their sexuality.

My organisation would be very unhappy with people speaking like that - but it is very hot on diversity, workplace bullying etc. And is working towards a culture of "kindness".
And that doesn't mean no bullying takes place, just that it's the harder stuff: where is the borderline between involved management and bullying?

molly people aren't saying its acceptable they are saying if you report the man who said it then you need to report every woman who says it as well

I am no stranger to swearing, and I find “bitch” probably the most offensive thing to say to or about a woman. There’s a real viciousness to it.

And no, it hasn’t been reclaimed.

If I found myself in a workplace like yours I would have complained long ago about the way you speak to each other, regardless of the sex of the speakers.

I use it sometimes with female friends in a joking way. In our circle we greet each other with language that would get you shot in some countries.

Never, ever at work. Nope. He was out of line.

I think the problem here is that you've become rather too over familiar with others at work thus ignoring boundaries. My friends and I use language that would get me fired on the spot if I used it in the work place.
It all sounds very: "You can't sit with us".

And when did we reclaim the word bitch? I didn't get the memo!

'The words “little bitch” aren’t meant or taken as insults'

WTF

How is calling someone a little bitch not an insult.

If I called a man at work a little bitch he'd be shocked. And not surprisingly. On what planet is this not an insult.

Bitch is a horrible word and I object to it being used by men or women.

It definitely hasn’t been reclaimed; it has been stolen by camp gay men and those who think being a ‘bad bitch’ is a good thing. It’s horrible.

Nobody, I really do mean nobody calls me a bitch without me challenging it. I don't give two hoots as to my colleagues gender, sexuality, religion, colour etc etc.
The word doesn't need 'reclaiming' anymore than the 'N' word.

He doesn’t get a pass just because he’s camp!

So why does a woman get a pass because she's female?

Agreed. YABVU to allow some people to use offensive language but not others based on what genitalia they have.

This. “Alright bitch” isn’t acceptable from anyone. Your “wherever he likes to put it” comment was unnecessary and hostile too. Just as unacceptable as calling anyone a bitch.

I’m very glad I don’t work where you do, sounds like an unpleasant bunch.

YABVU to allow some people to use offensive language but not others based on what genitalia they have.

I don’t really agree with this. I think a word like bitch used by a woman does have a different meaning than when it’s used by a man. It’s typically sexist and offensive either way, but when a man uses it, it acquires an extra layer of unpleasantness because of the legacy of many centuries of patriarchal oppression plus the persistent and pervasive threat of male violence. So it’s not exactly the same.

If a work colleague walks in and says “alright bitch” I wouldn’t bat an eyelid (it’s that kind of workplace

"That" kind of workplace?!? What, you are trying to be a youtuber or something?

Regardless, you can't have it both ways.

I wouldn't tolerate for anyone to call me a bitch, it's offensive, unprofessional and completely inappropriate. Couldn't care less whose mouth it comes from, they'd be lucky to end up with only a written warning.

If you think it's hilarious from some colleagues, then you can't complain about another colleague. Makes 0 difference if they are male, female or identify as a Kardashian.

YAB very U and offensive.

It’s not ok for a man or woman to anyone this. It’s rude, and not been reclaimed.

All that said, I do think a lot of gay men get a free pass from women (wrongly in my view), to say all manner of misogynistic things using their sexuality for cover. A gay man once explained to me in great detail why vaginas are "hideous", how we urinate, menstruate and shit from three holes which are very close together. Vaginas were in his mind something akin to a sewer. Some of the women found this hilarious! JFC!!!

If your workplace has any pretence towards professionalism it might be better to avoid using words like this at all. Firstly it might avoid any arguments about who can say what, and secondly, if he keeps doing it, his remarks will be thrown into sharper relief so they can be dealt with more easily

And you do need to deal with them before somebody makes an official complaint, even if that offends his belief that he's got a "get out of jail free card"

A lot of women think it’s cool to have a gay male friend.