Waitrose Mum & Baby carpark - parking without child!

[NZMummy15]

So today I parked at Waitrose (in a normal car park as didn't have the kids) and noticed a middle aged woman had parked in the mum and baby carpark (with no kids).

I went up to her in Waitrose and said you've just parked in a m&b carpark but you don't have any children with you. To which she replied I have a baby it's just not with me and I'm in a hurry, anyway who are you the police? Long story short I said she shouldn't be there and also mentioned this to the customer service desk who didn't care.

When I was putting my groceries in to the car she came over to me and said I shouldn't judge without knowing the full story and she actually has medical problems. I said she should be parking in the disabled car park then if that's the case, but of course did feel a little bit bad about whether I handled it right and if she was telling the truth as she didn't mention any of that earlier?

What would you have done it that situation? It's making me feel really awful now, but on the flip side I know how awful it is when you can't get a car park and you have a small baby/child so it always gets my back up!

I swear to god Mumsnet makes me want to park on these spaces just because 🙄

Absolutely agree with many posters on MN that these spaces should be put in a back. No drama then.
And shops should add blue badge spaces

Sometimes Mums struggle mentally and emotionally

You do realise that it isn’t just ‘Mums’ who suffer mentally and emotionally? You really are a precious poppet aren’t you?

Are 21st century parents just less able to cope with the trials and tribulations?
More prone to whimpering and aggression, lacking self-confidence, full of rights but less keen on the actual parenting bit? Happier on theur phones that talking to their children?

I cant believe you actually confronted the poor woman in the store AND went to Customer Services. No wonder they didnt entertain you. Probably thought like most folk on here that it was none of your bloody business

Sometimes Mums struggle mentally and emotionally and getting a parking space where they can get out of their car easily and safely is a big deal

And same goes for people with disabilities.
Do you know how hard it is to actually get a blue badge???

You told her she should park in the disabled spaces. What are you, an occupational therapist? I have a Blue badge. I can park in the parent and child spaces and have occasionally as the fuckers are closer to the door at Sainsbury’s. Arseholes, who designed that need their heads ripped off. When I am so ill and barely able to walk I can and will park where I choose. The p&c are by the machines when the disabled are almost 100m away. Dfod.

OP, you really should carry. Visible net curtain with you at all times. brilliant!

YANBU I don't know why mn is so anti parent and child spaces.

I am disabled and struggle mentally and emotionally. For me it is absolutely about how far I am able to walk.

I am not anti parent and child spaces.

I am anti nosey sods interfering in things that are none of their business.

I am anti the sense of helplessness that it creates in too many parents thinking they need the spaces.

They are handy. But the world won’t end if you have to park in a normal space. If one is free use it if not then park elsewhere.

I don't blame the OP. Masses of people take the piss with parent and child/blue badge spaces, and I don't believe for a moment that they've all got 'hidden disabilities'. Our CF neighbour, for starters - nothing wrong with him, but I've seen him gaily park in BB spaces - he just doesn't give a shit about anyone else.

Lots of people are just too lazy to park in a space that's a few paces further to walk. Though with parent and child spaces, it's not the distance to the entrance that matters - it's the space between vehicles to enable you to more easily get a baby or child out of the car seat.

But someone could say the same for the disabled 🤷🏻‍♀️ how did they manage?

Let's pretend for one moment that you're not the complete ignoramus that this comment makes you appear to be and allow me to explain it to you.

Features such as wider parking bays, low liner buses with a wheelchair space, access ramps, accessible toilets, automatic/button operated door opening, etc. allow disabled people to access facilities that non-disabled people take for granted. Accessibility is improving all of the time and while things are better than they once were, they are not yet as good as they could be.

Before these features existed any disabled people did not go out.

Ever.

What's the point of going to the shops if you can't get in the door? Or heading out for the bus if there's nowhere for you to sit? Or going to the bank if you can open the big heavy entrance door? Or taking the kids to the cinema when it's all stairs and there's no accessible toilet?

Babies however can be taken out whether there wre accessible features or not. You can pop a baby in a sling or carry it in your arms if somewhere is utterly inaccessible to a pushchair, you can't really pop a 37 year old wheelchair user into a sling though can you? A pushchair can be bumped up or down steps if there is no lift. You can brace a door open with one hand while you scoot the pushchair inside with the other. You can fold it down for the bus or train. Being unable to park in a wide bay won't prevent you from accessing whatever place you're visiting as you can manage in a standard space if need be.

All these accessibility features that make life a little bit easier for parents with pushchairs such as ramps, accessible toilets, easy open doors, wider parking bays, low liner buses... they are there because disabled people campaigned for them. Because they fought to change the law to make businesses provide access.

But sure, fuck them, a baby is way harder than a disability.

Inconveniencing parents and children isn't the way to go. She sounds really entitled.

Speaking as someone with an obvious disability but no blue badge, please take your idiotic comment and shove it up your arse.

I've learned that according to MN, parent and child spaces are for anyone who fancies using them.

This seems to be the current situation.

It's incredibly hard to get a blue badge, fighting to get my DM one that she needs so that she can actually leave her house...

I used a P&C space last night. It was late, a lot of spaces were full but my back and legs were in agony and there were no spaces available where I could open my car door wide enough to get out without damaging other cars.. I chose the P&C space as twisting myself getting out of a normal space would have caused more possible damage to myself.. I bet that the other customers were glad that I didn't damage their cars trying to get out of my car next to theirs x

YANBU I don't know why mn is so anti parent and child spaces

I'm not anti P&C spaces, I'm anti the amount if handwringing angst that they induce in grown adults who think they have a special claim over a specific space just because they've got a child. I have four of them. I've never felt the need to challenge someone over their use of a P&C space or get myself into a state over not being able to park in one because they were full.

YANBU for being a bit irritated to see someone without children park in a parent & child space but as most others have said you were unreasonable to approach the person about it. It's just not worth it: either they'll have a hidden disability thus good reason to use the space or they'll not give a damn whether they have sufficient reason to use the space.

There's a multistorey in St Alban's where the car park attendant comes and checks the occupants of your car when you pull into a parent & child space! I've only encountered this here though. Otherwise I've never known them be policed at all.

YABU for calling it a mum & baby car park and for suggesting only mums struggle mentally. Has it ever crossed your precious mind that mum's aren't the only form of parents?

Also YABU and you shouldnt have gone after that woman to moan at her

I guess just like I didn't know about that women's background and maybe judged too quickly, you have just done the same thing to me without knowing anything about my life and me as a person (but don't agree two wrongs make a right), and I said I was feeling bad about it.

You literally asked if you were being unreasonable.

P&C spaces are given as a benefit by supermarkets to encourage a common user of their store.

They do not want customers to squabble about them or bring their arguments to customer services to deal with.

Sometimes Mums struggle mentally and emotionally and getting a parking space where they can get out of their car easily and safely is a big deal, isn't about how far you need to walk.

Then my advice is this. This didn't affect you. You didn't need a space that day. Yet you a) got into an argument with this woman, b) pursued the matter to customer services and c) came to Mumsnet about it. For your own sake, make your life less of a struggle by not entering into such a palaver on behalf of someone who hypothetically needed that space more than her.

(FYI - I use online deliveries. Can't remember when I last used a supermarket carpark.)

It’s not like she was parked in a disabled space- YABU! They’re a courtesy- not a right!
As for this:
Sometimes Mums struggle mentally and emotionally and getting a parking space where they can get out of their car easily and safely is a big deal
Give me strength!!!! get a grip woman!

OP I'm baffled, truly bewildered at your sense of entitlement.
Are you a confrontational person?
You did 3 things, confront the person, tell customer services and post on Mumsnet.

You must feel v angry. But your anger is not reasonable.
Live and let live.

I don't even park in the parent spaces when I have a child with me. I park at the far (empty) end of the car park, where there are loads of spaces and then I take out the buggy and walk that 40-second walk to the shop. I really don't understand able bodire people, with or without children, who have to park as close as possible to the shop entrance and feel they have been hard done by if no spaces are available

Agreed shearwater I was lazy, but in the great scheme of things that bit of everyday laziness didn't really matter did it, or wouldn't matter to anyone with an ounce of common sense, given the context...

.... Mind your own business and stop harassing other people!

This happened to me once. My elderly mother ( over 85 years old) was in my car when I dropped her off in a bay as she needed to buy some essentials and she couldn’t walk too far ( she didn’t want me to go in with her) A busy body then proceeded to harass/ verbally abuse both of us ( we weren’t even able to leave the car!) without even waiting to hear or understand the facts behind this to the extent that we had to call the police! Thankfully the police were completely sympathetic although the woman had disappeared after we’d told her the police had been called!

Why is it so hard to mind your own business?

You need some proper hobbies, OP.

I wouldn't have said anything, and I certainly wouldn't have pursued her around the supermarket and back out again, as it reads as if you did that. Customer services weren't interested. You don't need to be either.