Waitrose Mum & Baby carpark - parking without child!

[NZMummy15]

So today I parked at Waitrose (in a normal car park as didn't have the kids) and noticed a middle aged woman had parked in the mum and baby carpark (with no kids).

I went up to her in Waitrose and said you've just parked in a m&b carpark but you don't have any children with you. To which she replied I have a baby it's just not with me and I'm in a hurry, anyway who are you the police? Long story short I said she shouldn't be there and also mentioned this to the customer service desk who didn't care.

When I was putting my groceries in to the car she came over to me and said I shouldn't judge without knowing the full story and she actually has medical problems. I said she should be parking in the disabled car park then if that's the case, but of course did feel a little bit bad about whether I handled it right and if she was telling the truth as she didn't mention any of that earlier?

What would you have done it that situation? It's making me feel really awful now, but on the flip side I know how awful it is when you can't get a car park and you have a small baby/child so it always gets my back up!

Some people really do have tiny lives.

It's always such a source of contention

It is on MN. Not really IRL.

You just MN for this little gem OP???

Mind your own bloody business

You are not being unreasonable. I hate the selfishness and entitlement of people in this country these days. She obviously doesn't care if a parent struggling with kids lost out on the space because she was parked there.

I imagine the 'illness' was made up too or else she would have mentioned this in the first place. Well done you for standing up to her. If more people did this the country wouldn't be such a mess!

Whilst I wouldn’t have approached the lady, it does make me annoyed when people use these spaces (I know, against the law of Mumsnet!) without children.

It would seem that a very high percentage of people on here have a hidden disability and need these spaces as well. The truth is, a lot of people are just ignorant and arrogant (and drive very large cars) - I see a lot of able bodied men using these. Also women who may well have children, but these are indeed for when they are actually with them, it’s pretty obvious.

My biggest bug bear is when people park up and just talk on their phones in them, beggars belief. I never so much as glanced at these spaces before I had a baby, and when he is not with me, I apply the same common sense.

So you were YABU to approach her, but not unreasonably annoyed I think.

In the Little Waitrose near me, the attendants are hot on this. A lady parked in the one nearest the store and was packing her boot up when the attendant approached her and asked her if she had children. She was very flustered and said yes (and quite rightly looked embarrassed when he reminded her that the space was for when she actually had them with her). Sadly she was finished shopping, but I hopefully she will think twice next time. I’ve also been asked if I have DC with me as I’ve parked up (he was in his seat still with the tinted windows hiding him), which didn’t bother me at all.

The answer is of course to move these to the back of the car park. I know some people dislike that, but as long as there is a walkway and somewhere near to put the trolley back, I can’t see the issue.

You can park in a normal space and get DC out, then come back and someone has parked too close and what do you do? Of course you manage somehow, but why struggle - these spaces are designed for parents with children.

I know how awful it is when you can't get a car park and you have a small baby/child

Yeah, so awful.

You just joined for this little gem OP?

Or have you NC?? Or something else?

YABU and really rude

Why the need to mention Waitrose ?

I imagine the 'illness' was made up too or else she would have mentioned this in the first place.

Why should she? It's none of the OP's business

I see a lot of able bodied men using these

How do you know they don't have a hidden disability?

This attitude really pisses me off. DM couldn't get a BB until just before she died and she needed to be close to the shop far more than someone who has chosen to have children.

YANBU.

The spaces are designed for parents and babies/children so they can negotiate their car chairs/pranks/kids etc.

They are not a catch all for every kind of hidden illness MN can think of.

Depending on what mood I was in and my ability to park and get my car chair out of the space I had found I might have been minded to say something.

Had a similar experience at Aldi where I parked next to a middle aged chap in a Range Rover who was in a mums and baby’s bay eating his lunch and picking his nose, whilst I fumbled about getting my five month old in and out without hitting anyone’s car. Did my entire weekly shop and he was still sat in the bay reading his magazine. His hidden disability must have been endless bogeys that needed picking.

The supermarkets should just get rid of them. Or call them accessible spaces.

Ps for pp and “hidden disabilities” the bays aren’t always closer, sometimes they are just wider. I don’t mind the walk, it’s the ability to actually remove child from car that I need!

@Alsohuman

Unfortunately mums with young children have the biggest average spend, so it’s actually in the supermarkets I interest to appeal to them.

The hidden disability crew will need to up their spend.

What Pample said- mother and baby spaces are courtesy spaces, not the same as spaces for people with a disability. I’ve an aunt with a hidden disability- a colostomy bag. Awful when she has to change it when she’s out and she needs the privacy of a disability toilet although she doesn’t “look” disabled. People like you telling her she just wants to queue skip are hard to fathom. Mind your own business!

@PinkSparklyPussyCat re my comment re able bodied men using them. Yes, some of them may have a hidden disability. But all of them? I don’t think so.

I would never approach anyone because I realise they may have a reason, but you know in the majority of cases they don’t. They are just arseholes!

Yabu, altho I can see why it may have irked if you were actually done out of a space you needed. But come on, to follow a woman around Waitrose and then to complain to customer services?! Mind your own business.

Also pp you can be as snarky about hidden disabilities all you want, but they are very real, and very, very shit to live with. I don’t qualify for a blue badge (fuck knows why), and don’t often use the parent and child spaces, but when I do, it’s because I need that extra space to haul myself out of the car without having to park miles away from the shop just to have no one parked next to me, altho it’s a nightmare to come back and someone has. I very rarely go shopping now, it’s too hard.

They need to move these bays to the back of the car park then no one would want them.

I said she should be parking in the disabled car park then if that's the case

How do you know there were spaces available there when she arrived?

All those who fret about P&C parking should campaign to get them moved to the back of the car park. Then you’d have lots if room, and all the CF’s wouldn’t use them as you’ve removed the reason for their wrongdoing.

I totally agree with you OP. Likely the only thing she was suffering from is Lazy cow-itis

I have confronted people before normally when I'm in a vile mood and it has tipped me over the edge .

According to mumsnet, parent and child places are for disabled people to park in. It is the height of selfishness to consider your child’s safety and park in one if you have a child. Everyone parking in such a space will have a disability but no blue badge. There should be absolutely no judgement or attempt to police these places. You should also mind your own business if you see a child being abused or know when someone is fraudulently claiming benefits. But feel totally free to judge them if they give their child a fruit shoot.

Yanbu, selfish cow

Christ you sound like a busy body with too much time on their hands