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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is it unreasonable to expect to be back at work so quickly?

83 replies

NotMyRealName11 · 12/09/2019 14:34

I've been in hospital for the last few days with viral meningitis - although it's getting better now and I am starting to feel slightly less awful!

I was supposed to be going back to work after maternity leave at the end of the month but had to accept that this is not going to be possible! But, my line manager called me this morning and left a voicemail saying please can I aim to be back for the second week of October because they really need me back by then, as the person who's been covering cannot stay on.

I want to be a good employee and I want to be reliable when I come back after maternity... but I'm worried that it is unreasonable to expect that I'll be completely recovered by then. I am going back 0.6 rather than FT, but even so. Does anyone have any experience of viral meningitis and how long recovery takes? The doctor I spoke to said it can vary a lot. I just don't want to speak to my line manager at the moment, but I know that she is just going to keep calling till I do...and obviously she does really need to know.

OP posts:

ElizaPancakes · 12/09/2019 14:36

You just need to be truthful with her. You can’t commit to that date as you have been seriously ill.

My only experience of viral meningitis was a friend at school who was back in a week so probably not the same!

MrsMozartMkII · 12/09/2019 14:38

I posted on your other thread.

You need to send your manager a message saying you want to be back soonest, that you've checked with your Consultant and the response is not conclusive, so you'll advise as soon as you have more of an idea.

If you overdo it and do it too soon you'll just be off again.

AccioCoffee · 12/09/2019 15:00

I can take 2-3 weeks to recover if all goes to plan. So that date is not a problem I would imagine 4 weeks is more than enough time to recover

skiclothes · 12/09/2019 15:19

I might be missing the point here but if you have been seriously ill while on maternity leave then it's classed as sick not maternity?

A colleague of mine was signed off for three months while on maternity and so got an extra three months maternity added at the end.

Apologies if that's not the case.

Original poster

NotMyRealName11 · 12/09/2019 15:26

Ah, I am not sure, to be honest! This I would need to check out with HR. But I might leave that for another day.

If people are generally fine in a couple of weeks then maybe I should be too? I don't want to come across like I'm being really flaky and precious! But at the same time, I don't want to make a promise I cant keep. Ohhh, I'm stressing now!

OP posts:

Pamplemousecat · 12/09/2019 15:26

Sounds as though that should be enough time if you’re over the worst

Coco89 · 12/09/2019 15:28

I had viral meningitis last year! It was very frightening!! I had two weeks off all in all but my boss was very good as only give me the light tasks when I went back! Its up to the individual as everyone's recovery time will be different! I was in hospital Monday and tuesday with suspecting meningitis! I am now bed ridden for another week from the the lumber puncture! I feel your pain! Go back to work when you are ready!

dollydaydream114 · 12/09/2019 15:29

They should issue you with a sick note at the hospital to cover your expected recovery period.

I had surgery a while ago and they day I went home they gave me all my medication and a sick note for up to four weeks. I didn't actually need the four weeks in the end but I could have taken them if I'd needed to. Your employer can't force you to come back if you're too ill to work. Sick leave is a different thing from maternity leave.

Hope you feel better soon

Original poster

NotMyRealName11 · 12/09/2019 15:35

Ohh, I think maybe I've been super flaky! Maybe I should not have asked for extra time. It's just because I know there are some particular things and I know that they would really need time to find cover for it if I'm not going to be back. But perhaps I am being a bit feeble!!

OP posts:

mumoftwocuties · 12/09/2019 15:48

I had viral meningitis in January, while being 8 months pregnant. I stayed in hospital for 6 days, and I found it took me about 2-3 weeks after I was discharged to be recovered (then had my baby with emcs so was off my feet again haha!) I just felt so weak and exhausted.
I found making myself get up and out the house for a bit at a time speed up things and helped my recovery, take every day as it comes and I wouldn't worry about work- put yourself first!

Myriade · 12/09/2019 15:49

Fgs, not everyone recovers the same way from the same illness. Some people are back on their feet in two weeks and thats great. But f consultants are happy to give 4 weeks ff for people to recover thats because some people DO NEED 4 weeks.

stop trying to guess how you will need because, tbh its impossible and taking longer doesnt make you 'feeble' or unreliable.
Ask your conultant what they think and in the mean time, tell work you dont know and you need to get dvice from the consultant following you.
And dont push yourself to be back at work asap 'because they need me'. They will cope for a week or two wo you if they need to. Just like they would if you had been on hols.
On the other side, it will take you ages to really recover if you dint lok after yourself. I mean, it was serious enough for you to be in hospital. Its not a little cold or even THE flu.

MzHz · 12/09/2019 15:55

Agree with all the above, tell them what’s happened, speak to your consultant and also see how you feel!

You will probably feel the effects of this for a while to come, so please take it easy

Get better soon!!

Original poster

NotMyRealName11 · 12/09/2019 16:12

OMG, @mumoftwocuties I can't even imagine having had this while pregnant. That must have been horrendous!

Yeah, I think that speaking to the consultant is the most sensible plan. Rather than trying to guess. I'm just feeling sooo rubbish, I can't even sit up for more than about 2 mins at a time! Ridiculous

OP posts:

Grandmi · 12/09/2019 16:20

Definitely be careful. It also depends what kind of job you have as to how capable and well you will feel, to go back to work. Take it easy...health is more important than whether HR get pissed off . You will be more unreliable if you go back too soon. Am sure your doc will give you a sick certificate if necessary. I hope you feel better soon.x

BikeRunSki · 12/09/2019 16:21

But you don’t need more maternity leave, you need sick leave.

Original poster

NotMyRealName11 · 12/09/2019 16:37

Can you take sick leave straight after maternity leave though? I never realised you could - a bit clueless obviously!

Oh God!!! I'm stressing.

OP posts:

Myriade · 12/09/2019 16:41

Why couldnt you? I maen its very clear that some people can get ill right at the end of their maternity leave. Its not something you can plan!

Original poster

NotMyRealName11 · 12/09/2019 16:51

I don't know, I thought this was said somewhere at work. But it does sound stupid when you put it like that! Oh God, I'm messing everything up!

OP posts:

bridgetreilly · 12/09/2019 16:56

You need to phone your work HR and explain that while you are nearing the end of your maternity leave, you are currently in hospital and you may need to extend your time off work with sick leave. Ask how you would go about that if it turns out to be necessary.

And then tell your manager that you will be back at work when you are well enough but at this stage you can't guarantee when that will be. The fact that the maternity cover person is finishing is NOT YOUR PROBLEM. If you need sick leave, you need sick leave. End of.

MyNameIsIrrelevant · 12/09/2019 16:57

That's a month, won't you be ok by then?

bridgetreilly · 12/09/2019 16:58

It's just because I know there are some particular things and I know that they would really need time to find cover for it if I'm not going to be back.

Imagine you had not been on maternity leave when this had happened. You would still have ended up in hospital with no notice and they would have had to manage. That is NOT YOUR PROBLEM. All businesses need to have contingency plans for when staff are ill. Stop worrying about other people's problems. You're ill. Focus on yourself.

bridgetreilly · 12/09/2019 16:59

Also, you should not be accepting phone calls from your line manager when you are in hospital. Just stop.

TheMustressMhor · 12/09/2019 17:03

When my DD had viral meningitis she was off for three months.

Everybody is different, OP.

Don't rush yourself. And as everyone else has already said - it is up to your place of employment to cover people's sick leave.

Original poster

NotMyRealName11 · 12/09/2019 17:05

My line manager is really ... in contact kind of person (can't find the word). She's left me two more messages and I am just stressed because I can't answer her questions. I'm sure I should be fine in a month (it sounds ridiculous to imagine not) but the consultant when I saw her was saying things about "could be up to 6 weeks". I'm getting so stressed! I don't know if I'm really getting worked up or if I'm just slightly out of it and it's turning me into a rambling mess..

OP posts:

Gazelda · 12/09/2019 17:08

Your manager is out of order to be hassling you while you are on mat leave and in hospital after an emergency admission!
Get your DH to call her and tell her that you're very unwell (true!) and not in a position to discuss return to work right now. He or you will call again when you have a clearer picture.

The stop responding to her messages.

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