Is it unreasonable to expect to be back at work so quickly?

[NotMyRealName11]

I've been in hospital for the last few days with viral meningitis - although it's getting better now and I am starting to feel slightly less awful!

I was supposed to be going back to work after maternity leave at the end of the month but had to accept that this is not going to be possible! But, my line manager called me this morning and left a voicemail saying please can I aim to be back for the second week of October because they really need me back by then, as the person who's been covering cannot stay on.

I want to be a good employee and I want to be reliable when I come back after maternity... but I'm worried that it is unreasonable to expect that I'll be completely recovered by then. I am going back 0.6 rather than FT, but even so. Does anyone have any experience of viral meningitis and how long recovery takes? The doctor I spoke to said it can vary a lot. I just don't want to speak to my line manager at the moment, but I know that she is just going to keep calling till I do...and obviously she does really need to know.

You can take sick leave straight from maternity leave - we had an employee here who did.

All being well you will be better in the next 2-3 weeks once we are over the exhaustion, but some people do take much longer to recover. The only thing you can do is take is easy, let yourself recover and stay in contact with work if you feel in a week or so that you are not getting any better so they have a head's up.

OP, I read your other thread. You seem to be very apologetic for something that is beyond your control. I think you need to be a little bit more assertive, which I know is difficult. Imagine that this was happening to someone you know, perhaps a colleague. You wouldn’t think this situation was their fault and you wouldn’t expect an apology. You wouldn’t think it made them an unreliable employee or a bad mother (yesterday, you said you felt a failure as a mother because of this illness; it’s patently not the case!). You have rights as well as responsibilities and you are not unreasonable for contracting a serious illness whilst on maternity leave.

Stop apologising. Stop feeling guilty. Stop feeling like you have to make this easy for everyone else.

Speak to your manager and say you will let her know as soon as you have a prognosis for recovery from your consultant. It’s the doctor’s job to advise on when you should return to work.

I know that thins can get very stressful in terms of cover. But anyone in any organisation could drop dead on the way to work one morning and the company would have to find a way to manage. In my job, absence is awkward, but if one of my colleagues is off sick I never blame them. If someone is in hospital, I feel nothing but sympathy for them. If they were constantly apologising for it, I would probably get a trifle annoyed though! Just be clear and straightforward about your situation and don’t feel pressured to commit to anything that you can’t be sure of yet.

Your dr could also give you a fit note that says you can do mornings only or similar. There's no way of knowing at the moment and while that is incredibly frustrating from a management perspective, it is unfortunately the truth.

It sounds to me as if you are on sick leave and your maternity leave is suspended while you are I'll and will continue when you are well.

Try and get a letter/note from the consultant while you are in hospital stating how long your recovery should take. Your maternity leave should continue after that.

Be careful of going back too soon and relapsing.
💐

Don't stress OP! People get ill at inopportune times - it happens! And it's not exactly a little cold, you've had meningitis!

Take it easy for the next two weeks. If it gets to 1st October and you're still under the weather, call and tell them and get a line from your doctor. It's not flaky, it's just life and being human.

You're getting yourself in a flap - I would too so don't feel bad about that! But it will all be fine have some cake

There is no way of knowing how long your recovery will take or any after effects that you might suffer. Everyone recovers at a different pace, even consultants don't really appreciate the impact of this virus on individisls. You're recovering from an extremely serious illness. My son had bacterial meningitis (so a bit different to yourself) at 15 months and has never fully recovered.
I would advise you look at the Meningitis Now website/FB page and contact them for advice and support. There are many stories on tbere from people who have suffered with viral meningitis and their road to recovery. It might be helpful to read sone, or even send your manager a link to the information on viral meningitis to help her understand your situation a little better.
I suspect that your manager is assuming that as it was "only" a virus you should be back to normal very soon. Unfortunately Meningitis doesn't work like that.
The diagnosis must have come as a shock to you and your family. You need to take one day at a time and please don't force yourself back to work before you're ready otherwise you'll end up being off sick for even longer.
Wishing you a full and speedy recovery

Apologies for all the typos. Trying to type (with a deranged auto correct!) and cook dinner apparently doesn't work well.

NHS website info suggests that for viral:

You'll usually be able to go home from hospital if you or your child has mild meningitis and tests show it's being caused by a viral infection.

This type of meningitis will normally get better on its own without causing any serious problems. Most people feel better within 7 to 10 days.

In the meantime, it can help to:

get plenty of rest
take painkillers for a headache or general aches
take anti-sickness medicine for any vomiting

Maybe tell the line manager that constant contact is causing you stress which will delay healing. Out of order for work to be contacting you to ask when you are returning.

Maybe book to see GP and ask for a sick note to cover you from your date of admission, that way it can be extended if necessary. Hope you feel better soon.

Hi op I’ve had 2 bouts of bacterial meningitis so slightly different to yours. The first instance I was in hospital for 2 weeks and off work for approx 3 months total and did phased return for the first month back. I have a office job so nothing physical. Ds has just turned 2 and was in nursery and did extra days as I couldn’t look after him at the start due to being exhausted.

This time it was caught earlier so only in a week was off work for a month after then I was off for the summer hols anyway (only work term time) so I’ve only just gone back to work. And I have to say it’s hit me this week and I’m feeling very tired again.

I think you just have to take it slowly and don’t forget some after affects can less obvious. Don’t rush it and do what you can. Wishing you a speedy recovery

I think ‘some’ contact is fine, but she’s harassing you & thats NOT on!

Send her an email or message saying you are too unwell to deal with the intricacies I’d sick & maternity leave right now so you’ll take it up with HR when you feel up to it

It’s up to them to sort out cover not for you to worry about when you’re this ill!!

If you’d been run over by a bus they’d have had to cope!

Look after yourself 🌷

Thx for all the advice! I also read about the 7-10 days and I really hope for it to be true, it's been a few days like this. If I sit up I get an awful headache and feel dizzy, if I try to eat I'm sick and I generally feel aching everywhere. It feels like 5 x worse than giving birth! And I can't even see DD... So I'm basically having a massive self-pity moment and now I'm feeling so bad about the work thing as well. I just want to do the right thing and not to cause problems.

OP you need to contact either your union (if you’re in one) or ACAS to find out your rights with regards to sick leave while on maternity. From a quick look on the maternity action the rules about getting Sick leave on Maternity leave are unclear, and you are more complex as you are due to have gone back: maternityaction.org.uk/advice/sickness-during-pregnancy-and-maternity-leave/ . Definitely get advice specific to your situation.

More importantly - be clear and firm with your line manager about contact while you’re off.

@toomanyhobbies Sorry to hear and I'm glad you are getting better - from what I understand the bacterial is loads more serious! :(

Don’t feel guilty about work. Work wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire, so you definitely don’t need to feel like you should do them any favours. Especially when it involves returning to work after a hospitalisation!

Maternity leave should pause for the time you're ill and then continue once your sick leave has started so you may be back at the time she's wanting.

Please have your DH contact her and say that you're in hospital and not taking calls at the moment but that she will be updated.

It’s not on that your line manager keeps contacting you!

I’d just text or email stating that unfortunately at this moment in time you can’t commit to a firm date of returning to work, due to having viral meningitis.

Perhaps your line manager is trying to organise another temp and needs time to organise?

How about something along the lines of "My consultant said it could take 6 weeks or more to recover. However, I do hope to be well enough to return at the originally agreed date and will give you an update on my recovery on ."

When the time comes, you could always request a phased return.

Wishing you a full and speedy recover.

MumW Well said and I think that is the approach. Something with "It is my intention"

Ok, that's a good idea! I think she probably does need to organise cover so she's probably stressed about that. Is it cowardly if I text or email? I just don't really want to call!

She just gets really on it when it's something that needs sorted and she won't drop it till it is fixed!

I'm getting another headache so about to go MIA, but thanks so much for all the advice. Xx

You are ill in hospital, you should not have to think or worry about this at the moment. Don't do anything, just concentrate on getting better. Can't believe your manager!!! Get someone in your family to call her to say that you can't talk/ respond at the moment as you are too ill.

This is SO out of order of her!

Dear X, I appreciate you need to plan cover, I’m just not well enough at the moment to know when I will be back. Consultant has indicated recovery time from viral meningitis to be x weeks. I am still in hospital at the moment but will keep you posted as and when I can.

I was hospitalised with a serious viral infection (similar to meningitis so not exactly the same, sorry). This was almost 4 years ago and I haven't been the same since. It ended up triggering Fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue from which I still haven't recovered. There's no telling with these things. Hope you recover well OP. Worrying about work will only set you back.

My sis got nagged by her work after she had an op, she felt under pressure so she went back earlier than she felt ready. Two weeks later she had an infection in the op site where she had pulled it doing something too physical at work!
Don't go back before you're ready!

Love, you sound like a bit of a people pleaser who's scared of getting into trouble. You're ill, properly ill and you should be the focus here, getting yourself well by doing as you're told. Work can frankly fuck off right now. You and your health matter more. It's fine to email your manager with no more than "currently in hospital with meningitis. I'll update you when I'm able to, right now I don't have any answers as it's too early in my recovery". The business will continue to survive without you for a while.

Last person I knew who had it was signed off work for 6 weeks.....