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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think 10 is still too young for a mobile phone.

87 replies

from123toabc · 12/09/2019 11:08

DC is 10 this month and has just gone into yr5.
The battle for getting a mobile phone has ramped up a gear since the start of the new term.

Apparently all DC friends have phones and they are missing out as she can't chat to them outside of school so it is making her feel a bit pushed out of the friendship group.

I've always said DC doesn't need one until they start walking to school by themselves. Am I being mean? Is DC really the only 10 year old without a mobile?

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 12/09/2019 11:09

Why do you think too young? What is your concern?

Greysparkles · 12/09/2019 11:10

My 10 yo has a mobile, but he does walk to school on his own. I read the group chat messages he has with other kids though and my god! Keep an eye on what they're saying!

user1474894224 · 12/09/2019 11:13

Nope your DC won't be the only one without a phone. I, and lots of my friends, allowed our kids phones towards the end of y6 - to get friends contact details before secondary school. Some kids have phones earlier. Some kids have them because they swap between mum and dad's house and then parents can easily contact them. And kids can contact parents. This makes perfect sense to me. My children don't need them for this so have to wait. (Fyi...there were a number of issues with social media during y6 which resulted in school intervening. The longer you protect her from this the better).

Bacawill · 12/09/2019 11:13

My 10 year old is in Y6 and is getting a phone for Christmas. He does walk home from school on his own now which is why I've decided to get him one. It will be monitored and restricted after a certain time and will charge downstairs overnight.

I was against them for a long time but can see the benefits so have caved.

chellochello · 12/09/2019 11:14

My DS also just gone into year 5 and turning 10 shortly will be getting his 1st phone for Christmas but there are certainly plenty of other kids in his year who do not have phones.

He has started to walk to nearby friends houses alone and I will feel much more comfortable knowing he has a phone so I can get in touch if I need him or to check on him which is why I have finally agreed to let him have a phone.

Lweji · 12/09/2019 11:16

Why isn't she or can't she walk to school by herself?

10 is a reasonable age for a cheap phone with parental controls.

PianoTuner567 · 12/09/2019 11:18

Mine is 10 and just started year 6. She has a basic phone as she walked to school alone from year 5 but currently wondering whether to get her a smart phone for Xmas.

sugarbum · 12/09/2019 11:20

My DS2 is in the same age group. I can confidently say that none of the kids in his class (whose mothers I know well - that's 75% of them) have mobile phones.
As far as I'm concerned until they start walking themselves to and from school its totally unnecessary. I've said to DS2 that when he does start walking himself, (in the summer term I've said) then he can have my old phone. He is one of the older ones (10 in November)

Original poster
from123toabc · 12/09/2019 11:20

@Lweji She doesn't walk to school by herself as there is a busy dual carriageway to cross between our house and the school with double traffic lights. The second set of traffic lights is for the pedestrian crossing but if the first show green drivers often go straight through the second set even if the green man is showing.

@BurtrandRussel My concerns are the usual concerns, social media, bullying etc etc

OP posts:
ethelredonagoodday · 12/09/2019 11:21

My daughter is coming up to 10 and just gone into year 5. No phones as yet and I think when we do eventually get get one, it will be a basic phone. Am trying to put it off as long as possible and currently only two in get class gave them... currently, she's either dropped off at wrap around care, or walked to school by me/DH, so absolutely no need for one.

ethelredonagoodday · 12/09/2019 11:22

Apologies for typos...

sailingclosetothewind · 12/09/2019 11:22

With parental controls, a phone is a good way to keep in contact with friends and family. I guess you need to know the maturity of your own child, and if they are ready to look after themselves and be sensible with a phone...or not.

It is a judgement call for you, as a parent. If you feel your child is sensible and mature and can keep himself safe then I don't know what harm it can do....what are you worried about exactly?

Batcrazymum3 · 12/09/2019 11:22

In answer to your question is really, it depends on the 10yo

My DC is also 10 I have an App that allows me to reduce usage and content. She also cant download anything without my say and is limited to 3 hours on schools days and the phone shuts off at 7pm every night.
I also monitor the chats she is having.

If you allow your 10yo to use a tablet, a phone really isn’t much different and you can have as much or as little “control” as you like.

sailingclosetothewind · 12/09/2019 11:22

Herself

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 12/09/2019 11:23

Could you take her over the dual carriageway and let her walk from there? Though tbh if a car is going to jump the lights they'll do it with or without you there.

Batcrazymum3 · 12/09/2019 11:24

My concerns are the usual concerns, social media, bullying etc etc

Social media is different from a mobile phone 10 is too young for social media!

NearlyGranny · 12/09/2019 11:26

If she wants camera, internet connection apps etc, 10 is way too young. If YOU want her to be able to contact you - does she walk to and from school alone? - then there are basic cheap phones for that which just allow calls and texts.

If she turns up her nose at that idea, she's certainly too young!

I would say 14 at the earliest. Y6 children have been known to send unsolicited dickpics to girls in their class or ask them for intimate pictures! She can't unsee something like that.

Protect her from complications she's too young for and stand your ground, whatever other parents might do.

Good grief, it used to be ponies!

Original poster
from123toabc · 12/09/2019 11:26

@Batcrazymum3
She has a kindle but only allowed it on child mode at weekends....I'm probably being over protective- probably a case of typical bubble wrapped only child Blush

OP posts:
sailingclosetothewind · 12/09/2019 11:26

from Not having a phone can lead to social isolation and not being involved with plans, chatting after school etc. Not being part of the group plans can lead to your dd not being invited to certain things simply because she won't know about them.

Is she being bullied already? Are you worried that the girls from school will make things difficult for her out of school? If this is the case, I can see your reluctance. However maybe it is better to show her how to manage these things properly, rather than just stopping her from having SM.

The fact she is asking maybe indicates to me that she already feels left out.

Tweetingmagpie · 12/09/2019 11:27

My eldest has just started secondary school and I got him one in The school holidays.

I don’t think there’s any need for them to have one before that age, I do t like seeing young kids glued to their phones, it’s bad enough when they’re teens but at 8,9 and 10 they should still be playing outside or whatever....I also limit his time with it, he takes it to school so he can come tact me when he comes out (I pick him up as it’s too far to walk and there’s no school bus) and he has it back after dinner until bedtime at 9.

Tweetingmagpie · 12/09/2019 11:27

Op I think your doing just fine.

sailingclosetothewind · 12/09/2019 11:28

nearlygranny You sound a little out of touch with all due respect.

diddlesticks · 12/09/2019 11:29

I gave my child one at almost 11, it's tightly controlled (the google parental controls are actually very impressive) and she isn't on social media except WhatsApp to chat with family and friends who I know. Her phone is blocked from access from early evening to morning thanks to the controls.

In year 5 only a small number in her class had a phone, I believe it's a lot higher now they're in year 6, many have more freedom now also and can of course walk to school where possible.

She's happy for me to just pick up her phone at any time, if ever she becomes funny about it I'd be asking why.

Tweetingmagpie · 12/09/2019 11:30

She really doesn’t. I’ve heard of the same, a girl I’m friends with has a younger brother who got suspended in y6 for sending hardcore porn videos to his class mates by phone. It happens.

sailingclosetothewind · 12/09/2019 11:31

Whatapp is different from instagram and snap chat. I really wouldn't recommend that she uses SM at ten years old.