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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To find this infuriating.

548 replies

Burtiebojangles · 12/09/2019 03:31

New family just moved in to a rented house technically down the side of our house. They have 4 cars, one parking space. The street has space for 5 cars in total, so they deem this a suitable place to park - right across our drive.

Having asked them to move it, I got told they have nowhere to park and he doesn’t want his daughter walking too far to get to her car. Aibu to think we shouldn’t be inconvenienced because these people didn’t think ahead when deciding to rent this house, and what the hell can you do in these circumstances?

OP posts:

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WarshipWarrior · 12/09/2019 22:01

OP he may be a civilian investigator in the CID (as most of the staff in CID these days are civilian staff on circa 25k a year not 40k+ detective police officer= Tory money saving) so she is probably bending the truth quite a bit!! Ignore her and deal with him and start your conversation "I understand you're a police officer so should be reasonable to speak to about this issue plus I expect you know the law around blocking cars on driveways..." and see if he squirms or not!

Elieza · 12/09/2019 22:16

I’m sure there is some weird access law that states you must let someone out their drive or you’re breaking the law. However it’s not against the law for them to then block you out. (Or the other way round)
It’s a weird law. Ring a bell with anyone?

The reason I’m mentioning is that they could park in front of your drive and block you out when you try and get home and they will be perfectly legal. Or something.

I think you may have to get the police involved whatever happens if they keep messing around.

PotteryLady · 12/09/2019 22:21

Good for you standing up for yourselves-can't wait for them to try and park their 4 cars tonight!

billy1966 · 12/09/2019 22:29

I find it hard to believe that them using his position as a police officer to intimidate and put you off complaining about them breaking the law (parking across your drive) would not be a serious disciplinary matter.

If the husband comes near you I would definitely be telling him that his wife stated it was a waste of time complaining as he is in the police. Getting his shoulder number and telling him that ye will not be intimidated by him or his wife for simply requesting they not block your drive.

I would make it very clear you are preparing to go to the police and make a formal complaint.

I would be furious to be threaten in that manner.

His wife is very foolish and so is he if he doesn't back away from this behaviour promptly.

RavenLG · 12/09/2019 22:37

You need this guy OP

ellzebellze · 12/09/2019 22:51

I blame the architects and planning officers for allowing such lunatic developments. Nobody in their right mind would design housing estates like that.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 12/09/2019 23:04

Are they back yet?

Bonniegirlie · 12/09/2019 23:34

If it is a public road then the police can book them for causing an obstruction, so give them a ring.

InvisibleWomenMustBeRead · 12/09/2019 23:51

They really are cheeky fuckers. Stand your ground Op & don't let them intimidate you. Definitely complain to the estate agent and also log with 101 - not sure if they'd do anything but worth getting on record especially if he is a police officer and they're using that to intimidate you.

DishingOutDone · 13/09/2019 08:24

@Elieza you are right - I’m sure there is some weird access law that states you must let someone out their drive or you’re breaking the law. However it’s not against the law for them to then block you out. (Or the other way round) We got blocked IN, the police came, found the driver and fined him on the spot as its an offence. But had we been blocked out, THEN its a civil matter.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 13/09/2019 09:13

Apparently they can park there because we have enough room to get out. Her husband is a police officer

Does that mean that I can legally steal from Tesco, then, as they have loads of food and would still have more than enough left?

If he is a police officer, then surely she should realise that that actually makes it worse for him and his family to be breaking the law - not better. Because If he isn't, as PPs have said, impersonating a police officer is not the wisest thing to do.

I'd be inclined to act (semi) ignorant and knock on the door, say you know it's a crime to deny somebody access to the public highway and ask if you should call the police or whether he'd prefer his connections to call a colleague to deal with the matter which merely requires a selfish idiot to move a car a few yards. Otherwise, I suppose he could always just arrest himself

If their transitioning daughter/son is too precious or unable to walk a few yards from a legal parking space (and you make no mention of any disability), then she/he gets the family parking space and they park a minute or two away from the house. If he is unable to do that, then he's really not fit to be in the police. Maybe he could call one of his colleagues over to provide an official chaperone for him as a vulnerable person whilst he negotiates a cul-de-sac or possibly a quiet adjacent residential road

We see this time and again: they have an adult child who (supposedly) requires some form of sacrifice or inconvenience on the part of other adults to be made to accommodate them. Any normal parent would take that inconvenience themselves, for their own child, without a moment's thought; but no, it appears that a stranger is expected to do it instead.

MarieG10 · 13/09/2019 10:52

@Elieza . You should not park across a dropped kerb, unless you are the householder and the drive does not serve multiple premises. The law is totally clear on this and this guidance is useful spelthorne.gov.uk/dropped-kerbs

If the offender is a police employee they need to be extremely careful, as in addition as they will be in breach of the police Code of Ethics and can easily be disciplined for such behaviour

WarshipWarrior · 13/09/2019 11:26

OP come back and tell us!

Original poster

Burtiebojangles · 13/09/2019 11:42

It’s all quiet at the moment. Husband didn’t come round, no car parked on the corner. We’re off to a wedding today so we’ll see who’s camped out on our drive when we get back .

Just a question regarding reporting them to 101, is it something we’d have to disclose when we come to selling our house? My husband seems to think when we sold our last one we had forms to fill in asking if we had a dispute with the neighbours so it could become an issue for us in the long run. I really want to ring them and log a complaint but I want to be able to sell this house too and go and live in the middle of nowhere with no neighbours.

OP posts:

MrsGarethSouthgate · 13/09/2019 12:07

If it turns out that they don't park there anymore then surely the issue is resolved, and so why would you ring 101?

PrayingandHoping · 13/09/2019 12:21

Before logging it with 101 I would definitely tell their letting agent. Their landlord won't want a dispute, with them upsetting his neighbours.

Original poster

Burtiebojangles · 13/09/2019 12:36

@mrsgarethsouthgate so I should excuse the threats because they’re kindly not blocking my drive today? Can’t hurt to have it on record if they do it again.

OP posts:

Somebodyswatson · 13/09/2019 13:17

You have to disclose "disputes with neighbours" to the solicitors when selling your house, but only current ones, you don't have to declare it if it's resolved. So basically your neighbours need to get their act together and stop being idiots so you can call it resolved

MrsGarethSouthgate · 13/09/2019 13:33

I appreciate I'm in a minority, but telling you her husband is a police officer was not a threat in my opinion. It was irrelevant, and most likely meant to shut you up, but from how you've described it, more in a 'we know we're not breaking the law because...' way than in a threatening manner.

And for all you know he might be pissed off at his wife for telling you, I know I certainly don't want my neighbours knowing what I do for a living.

So no, I don't think it needs 'logging' at this stage. Police call handlers have better things to do than listen to parking complaints that aren't even an issue currently.

If it continues to be an issue, then report it to the appropriate authority. In my area this would be the council FYI.

donquixotedelamancha · 13/09/2019 14:32

I appreciate I'm in a minority, but telling you her husband is a police officer was not a threat in my opinion.

I think the point was that OP felt she was making a threat. It's hard to interpret tone from second hand reports, but given this person was shouting at OP for wanting to get out of her own drive, I think it's reasonable to accept OP's interpretation.

donquixotedelamancha · 13/09/2019 14:39

I should excuse the threats because they’re kindly not blocking my drive today? Can’t hurt to have it on record if they do it again.

No, you should not have to endure someone behaving in this awful way, but there are good reasons to let it lie, if it's sorted:

She might not be a nutter. She might have been having a terrible week and has just behaved uncharacteristically like a loon.

She's probably a nutter. Don't poke the nutter if you can help it.

If this escalates, you will need to record the dispute if you sell.

Now, I am not saying you should let a bully win. In general I think leaving things and hoping for the best is a bad plan with people like this. You have stood up to her already. If she's just an entitled bully then that might well be sufficient. You can always take the next steps if it happens again- keep some powder dry.

MrsGarethSouthgate · 13/09/2019 15:05

@donquixotedelamancha

I can't see anywhere in OP's posts where she mentioned the wife shouting.

donquixotedelamancha · 13/09/2019 15:17

I can't see anywhere in OP's posts where she mentioned the wife shouting.

You are right. I thought it was on that update post but I've either misread it, or mixed up another thread. Apologies.

I'm still inclined to accept OP's interpretation that the comment was meant as a threat, in context.

rwalker · 13/09/2019 17:13

Wouldn't of thought you would have to declare 101 call as dispute all it is, is a car abandoned over your drive.

Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 13/09/2019 17:32

Placemarking!

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