To think I can feel empowered without needing to strip to my (sexy) underwear

[fandabbyfannyflutters]

Just saw something on twitter saying all women should have a boudoir photo shoot as it's so empowering. Fine if you want to do that. Cue also the usual comments from men 'phwoar if only I was 30 years younger/was single' etc etc
Am I being wildly out order to point out well no actually I don't need to do that to feel empowered?

I find those photo shoots utterly cringe, fake and posed.

Sexually empowering, perhaps, if someone enjoys that kind of thing.

Knickers should make us feel powerful?

The same knickers that can then be paraded in court as a defence for a rape trial.

Ignore !

It’s rather like getting a slave to pose in their chains and telling them they’re “empowered”. Utter crap.

It's rubbish really, isn't it? Unless you buy into the bullshit idea of the "power" that women's sexual allure has over men.

Completely agree , and like a pp said earlier, it seems like gaslighting.

I like nice pants but power doesn't come into it.

Yanbu it’s empowering because men like it🙄
I’m empowered by not caring about things the way the “patriarchy” want women to worry about absolutely everything and being able to do things myself. That truly is empowering

Actually the thing that's empowered me over the last (very difficult) couple of years is having wonderful supportive female friends. Genuinely saved my sanity.

Making women feel they're in a competition for who looks sexiest in their underwear, undermines the strong support networks between us.

Again, who benefits?

I honestly don't know a tackier thing than boudoir photoshoots

Again, who benefits?

Agree. That is the case with a lot of things. Groups of women doing things which don’t benefit men have always worried “them”.

I’ve noticed that it seems to be a requirement of being a mum that you fret endlessly about every aspect of parenting. You only need to look at online groups to see mums worrying about extremely trivial things and other mums feeding into it.

OT I’ve often looked at DH and thought it would be quite radical not to care as much, like he who not only doesn’t sweat the small stuff but who congratulates himself on the most pathetic thing

D'you know what I find empowering?

The ongoing knowledge that my eyes are wide open and that I do not consent to walking blindly into championing behaviours that reinforce the patriarchal status quo.

I feel empowered by my ability to correctly identify and defend my mind against the creeping imposition of a damaging mentality that maintains the mechanisms of oppression.

I am empowered, on an ongoing basis, by repeatedly exercising and strengthening my capacity to reject this iteration of the continuous attempt to positively reframe the shackles that bind us.

I empower myself by saying no.

In this particular instance it's a big fat no to a positive reframing of the covert insistence that we comply with the ritualistic sexualised demands of the male gaze. But the general principle is widely applicable.

Getting your tits out for the lads is the polar of empowerment. I don't know who these women are trying to kid, if themselves fine, but if other people they should give up cos it's really not working.

Well said TyroToxicity.

@Aprillygirl nudity empowers some, modesty empowers others
Each to their own and it's not my position to judge. I model nude and I enjoy it, some people would hate it
People just need to mind their own business about what others do in their private life

Funny how this kind of female empowerment always seems to benefit men...

While it is empowering to feel confident about your body and your sexuality, this is not a sign of that. If anything I would venture that feeling the need to haves sexy photo shoot suggests you are insecure either about your body or your sexuality or both. It’s the opposite of someone who is empowered, it’s someone trying to mask issues instead of addressing them head on and truly getting empowered.

Great posts from @DoctorAllcome and @Tyrotoxicity

It is literally impossible to be empowered unless you are photographed in your scantiest underthings with a come hither look. 90s perm optional.

@YesQueen if one feels the need to hide or show off ones body one isn’t empowered. Empowerment is about accepting your body for what it is - just a body and getting on with your life. If you feel the need to display or conceal it to feel strong then you have underlying issues. Not saying that this is what you are doing with your modelling (seems to me like you are empowered if anything) but just asa general reply.

@BogglesGoggles definitely but a lot of people seem to say it's degrading or not empowering
It is because I'm already comfortable? If that makes sense!

It's interesting that people that have done this have also commented that their DH loves it. But no-one has said that they also have a fantastic photo of their DH in his posing pouch.

@StockTakeFucks good point, there.

Let us get a grip here. The people who have the real power are the ones who don’t need to care what people think of their appearance. A photo of just such a specimen has already been supplied

If all the men do it first ( and show me evidence of their further empowerment) , I might think about it.

But seriously I do think it is disempowering for some women to dislike their bodies ( me when I was young) but the answer was to take the focus away from my woe filled naval gazing, not to buy into it .