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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I can feel empowered without needing to strip to my (sexy) underwear

86 replies

fandabbyfannyflutters · 11/09/2019 14:59

Just saw something on twitter saying all women should have a boudoir photo shoot as it's so empowering. Fine if you want to do that. Cue also the usual comments from men 'phwoar if only I was 30 years younger/was single' etc etc
Am I being wildly out order to point out well no actually I don't need to do that to feel empowered?

OP posts:
Nonmerci · 11/09/2019 15:00

YANBU, my career empowers me.

fandabbyfannyflutters · 11/09/2019 15:02

I just see it as the opposite of empowering having the leering soda and their comments

OP posts:
fandabbyfannyflutters · 11/09/2019 15:02

Sods not soda 🙈

OP posts:
EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 11/09/2019 15:03

Mmm I wonder who came up with that

The photographer

I have plenty of photos of me in swimwear mostly bikinis can’t say these photos empower me

Being independent, single parent and having a career that I really get something from has

Herewego93 · 11/09/2019 15:06

I've actually always wanted to do one of those. After having kids I didn't feel sexy as such and I think those shoots can help certain people with confidence maybe? Or just for fun and maybe something nice to surprise the other half with.

WeeMadArthur · 11/09/2019 15:12

Well no men are lining up to get their kit off to feel empowered, wonder why that is? Maybe it’s because society doesn’t judge their value by how attractive they are.

fandabbyfannyflutters · 11/09/2019 15:16

Very true @WeeMadArthur

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Babdoc · 11/09/2019 15:18

Classic sexist bullshit and gaslighting. “Ooh, get your tits out love, it’s dead empowering.”
Anyone seen Philip Green, Boris, or Alan Sugar posing nude for boudoir shots? No? Wonder why not.

tierraJ · 11/09/2019 15:20

I had a photo of me in a bikini taken in Lanzarote this summer.
I didn't feel empowered when I saw it I just thought shit I'm too pale & 2 stone overweight.
But I still wore my bikini.

If I did a boudoir shoot it would be in a dressing gown lol.

drivingtofrance · 11/09/2019 15:22

Hell no.

I feel quite empowered enough in that I can wear whatever I like and choose to wear or not wear a full face of make up.

fandabbyfannyflutters · 11/09/2019 15:23

@Babdoc Alan Sugar? Oh dear ShockShock

OP posts:
AryaStarkWolf · 11/09/2019 15:26

Knickers should make us feel powerful? I bet a woman didn't come up with that idea...........

DoctorAllcome · 11/09/2019 15:27

People have funny ideas about empowerment for women. It is no coincidence that a lot of so called “empowering” things are really gender stereotypes like
Naked/almost naked sexy photos
Makeup
Heels
Skimpy sexy clothing
Having lots of casual sex
Being a porn star
Cosmetic surgery for big boobs, duck lips, booty implants, etc etc

It’s almost like “empowering” is a marketing buzz word to sell women what MEN want for women.

Slinkyreptile · 11/09/2019 15:28

I do agree there are plenty of other ways to feel empowered, however I did one of these photoshoots for my hubby as a surprise wedding gift to him and he loved it. I still kept my bra on but just having some lovely lingerie and props with proper flattering angles and lighting did make me feel empowered and sexy. I would definitely consider another one in the future (certainly not at this moment in time when I’m 35 weeks pregnant! Grin)

GPatz · 11/09/2019 15:29

I've had one done as a wedding present to my husband. It was a fun morning and my husband appreciates the private pictures. Can't say I felt empowered though. Maybe I was doing it wrong.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 11/09/2019 15:31

Empowered Hmm

To think I can feel empowered without needing to strip to my (sexy) underwear
fotheringhay · 11/09/2019 15:31

I learned a new Latin phrase the other day, on here naturally Grin

cui bono - who benefits?

It springs to mind in this situation. Certainly not women.

The thing that empowers me most, allowing me to continue my life and the dc's lives as before after being left by xh, is quite honestly working tax credits.

It's not much but makes the difference between ends meeting or not

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 11/09/2019 15:40

GPatz that's the thing. Sometimes if I'm wearing nice undies I might feel sexy and DH enjoys seeing me in them. As a feminist I'm comfortable with this. Pants don't empower me though.

I wonder if those who say it's "empowering" are confusing it with sexy or are just plain deluded?

Cui bono...I like that.

SuburbanCrofter · 11/09/2019 15:50

Yup. It is well known that this was how Christine Lagarde came to be in charge of the International Monetary Fund, and how Angela Merkel became leader of one of the world's largest economies.

Hmm
Waxonwaxoff0 · 11/09/2019 16:05

YANBU. My looks aren't what makes me feel empowered.

LaVieilleHarpie · 11/09/2019 16:10

I keep seeing the 'empowered' buzzword on a brafitting FB page I follow, and facepalm accordingly. No, frilly knickers, as nice as they are to own and wear, do not empower women. Bahahahahaha who the hell comes up with this shit.

NewStart571 · 11/09/2019 16:12

Empowered to do what exactly?

FudgeBrownie2019 · 11/09/2019 16:12

I remember when I was young my Mum went and did one and had a photo of her laying upside down with her legs up the wall, staring at the camera like a be-lingeried Kevin Keegan (late 80's, perm obligatory) and being genuinely horrified at it. I suspect I'm still traumatised underneath.

Never, never going to happen.

I am empowered by being great at my job, forever learning new things and not showing anyone else my under crackers.

Bezalelle · 11/09/2019 16:18

It tends to be the case that the less flesh I show, the more "empowered" I feel.

granhands1 · 11/09/2019 22:53

I hate the word empowered. It means to be given power by someone else. Fuck that, if it's given then it can be taken away.
I am powerful. Full of my own power.

Men are never spun this kind of nonsense. Take your clothes off, see how powerful you feel Hmm

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