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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

"Ooh, like Madeleine McCann!"

119 replies

MacVities · 11/09/2019 10:26

My name is Madeleine. Known as Maddie. I'm a lot older than Madeleine McCann. Born long before Madeleine McCann.

But for years and years, she is mentioned to me so frequently upon people finding out my name. From drunk lads in night clubs grabbing me and shouting "we found her!!" When I tell them my name (even a few sober people have done this!) people again grabbing me and looking in my eyes to see if there's that mark, then laughing as if they are so hilarious and original. It was even mentioned by my sonographer at my 20 week scan remarking "oh Madeleine. Beautiful name. Like that missing child"

I had it again this morning when viewing a nursery to see if I wanted to register my child with them. They asked for our full details and said "ooh, surname isn't McCann, is it?"

Do people seriously think this is appropriate? The first few times I was a bit Hmm but I feel like it's been a decade of countless people making these comments and jokes thinking it's ok, or even remotely funny. I got really irritated by it this morning and DH said I'm being overly sensitive. AIBU?

OP posts:
BadLad · 11/09/2019 10:28

AIBU?

No.

That sounds very annoying indeed.

People don't realise that their innocuous attempt at a light-hearted joke is something that you've heard thousands of times before.

FudgeBrownie2019 · 11/09/2019 10:30

It's not funny. Anyone who jokes about a missing child is a dick, no matter how much time has passed.

However, I also think that because of the controversy of MM's disappearance and her parents behaviour etc, some people believe it's almost open season for jokes because it's not as awful somehow as Ben Needham or other child disappearances. It absolutely is as awful, for the child at least.

Flowers I don't think you're being over sensitive.

MsVestibule · 11/09/2019 10:31

I can't believe so many people even associate your name with her, let alone feel it's appropriate to comment! YANBU, it must be really tedious.

Bigpizzalover · 11/09/2019 10:31

Snap, I get the same. Find it disgusting.

SleepyHiraeth · 11/09/2019 10:34

Unfortunately, McCann is the first thing I think of when I hear the name Madeleine, I wouldn't say that though. Yanbu.

Thereisasystem · 11/09/2019 10:35

It's pretty horrific for her parents too Fudge Hmm

Awfully distasteful OP.

Emus · 11/09/2019 10:36

YANBU. I know a Maddie and not once have I made any distinction with her name and that of missing MM. What's wrong with people?! (Madeleine is such a lovely name by the way.)

Whattodo20192 · 11/09/2019 10:37

This is awful.
My dp shares a name with a famous footballer and people always make the joke as if he's never heard it before. It gets very annoying.
But joking about a missing child is horrible and inappropriate. You need to come up with a smart answer to these comments.

Span1elsRock · 11/09/2019 10:37

Jesus, do people say that out loud?

Awful.

ErrolTheDragon · 11/09/2019 10:37

YANBU.

Your DH is wrong, you're not being over sensitive to be irritated by it.

People don't realise that their innocuous attempt at a light-hearted joke is something that you've heard thousands of times before.

This isn't innocuous or a subject for a 'light hearted joke' though. It's nothing like eg me getting mildly irritated by the umpteenth bright spark making a joke about my dachshund which are slightly amusing and completely innocuous on the first hearing.

lvsel · 11/09/2019 10:38

Annoying and the first time I heard Madealine is from the Disney (I think disney) film

recklessruby · 11/09/2019 10:39

How annoying. And inappropriate. Drunk lads in clubs? Maybe stupid but ok let it go.
Nursery and sonographer? Professional people? Weird and rude. Yanbu.
There s a song about my name. God do I get sick of people greeting me with it.
No you are not original or funny.

Nonmerci · 11/09/2019 10:40

YANBU at all, people can be such twats.

PositiveVibez · 11/09/2019 10:41

Terrible OP.

What utter pricks.

I absolutely adore the name Madeleine and was going to call my daughter the name. I was pregnant when Madeleine McCann went missing.

The look of horror on people's faces when we reeled off suggested names just put us off totally, so I can understand how annoying but must be for you.

It is a gorgeous name OP, and I do regret not calling our daughter Madeleine as she would really suit it.

RosaWaiting · 11/09/2019 10:42

Sorry to say, I think the type of person who says this is not thick, is usually fully aware how rude it is, is usually fully aware you’ve heard it 100 times and is just a massive arsehole.

TatoTurner · 11/09/2019 10:42

How very odd. Bad enough if it was just tedious, but to be so distasteful too!

Peterpiperpickedwrongagain · 11/09/2019 10:43

I always think of Madeline Stowe from last of the Mohicans

Odd that people would mention Madeline McCann. How on earth do you respond when they (not the drunk idiots) say it?

BirdandSparrow · 11/09/2019 10:44

What do you say when they do it? I think I'd say "That's not funny" with a stony face and a death stare.

People are such cocks.

NoddyAndBessie · 11/09/2019 10:44

This reply has been deleted

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Nellamelia · 11/09/2019 10:44

I picture her face and think of her story every time I hear the name, but I would never say anything out loud. It was a name I loved but couldn't ever use now because it is so synonymous with that little girl and her story because it's not the most common name I think. I don't have the same response to Sarah or Millie or Holly or Jessica.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 11/09/2019 10:44

I can't believe people say this. It's not even an unusual name round here.

Time for the are-you-really-this-stupid look I reckon. A sonographer? Unbelievable

MacVities · 11/09/2019 10:44

It's honestly put me off sending DS to that nursery. DH thinks I'm being ridiculous but for somebody in charge of such young children to make a joke like that just isn't sitting right with me at all. It's easier to shrug off coming from drunk people as stated above but this morning has really irked me!

OP posts:
BrightonRox · 11/09/2019 10:48

That's ridiculous. My cousin is a Madeleine of similar age to Madeleine McCann and she's never received comments like that. I'd do as suggested by one of the PP's and just give them a stony look. What insensitive idiots to bring that up.

Aderyn19 · 11/09/2019 10:49

It is the first thought I have when hearing the name. It is wholly inappropriate though for people to make any sort of joke about a missing child and very insensitive to say this to you. No one wants to constantly associate their own name with a tragic event.

SudowoodoVoodoo · 11/09/2019 10:50

YANBU.

You will have a lot of sympathy from all the Ruby, Ruby, Rubys out there, as well as the Come on Eileens and all the other people with names found in catchy songs or other known people.

Madeleine is a lovely name, and not that uncommon. There's a lovely CBeebies presenter who uses Maddie.