"Ooh, like Madeleine McCann!"

[MacVities]

My name is Madeleine. Known as Maddie. I'm a lot older than Madeleine McCann. Born long before Madeleine McCann.

But for years and years, she is mentioned to me so frequently upon people finding out my name. From drunk lads in night clubs grabbing me and shouting "we found her!!" When I tell them my name (even a few sober people have done this!) people again grabbing me and looking in my eyes to see if there's that mark, then laughing as if they are so hilarious and original. It was even mentioned by my sonographer at my 20 week scan remarking "oh Madeleine. Beautiful name. Like that missing child"

I had it again this morning when viewing a nursery to see if I wanted to register my child with them. They asked for our full details and said "ooh, surname isn't McCann, is it?"

Do people seriously think this is appropriate? The first few times I was a bit but I feel like it's been a decade of countless people making these comments and jokes thinking it's ok, or even remotely funny. I got really irritated by it this morning and DH said I'm being overly sensitive. AIBU?

[DarlingNikita]

YANBU! That beggars belief.

I mean, it IS a beautiful name. But I don't think immediately of Madeleine McCann when I come across it, and I can't believe anyone who does would actually say so out loud.

I'd be very put off the nursery too. I think that's hugely distasteful.

[Bear2014]

I don't blame you, OP. When we went looking at nurseries for our DD, the manager made a faux pas that made her look really unprofessional, not in the same vein but equally as cringeworthy, and we discounted the place straight away.

[recrudescence]

I can see how this could become very grating. A good friend of mine shares her surname with a very well-known TV character. Inevitably, whenever she has to give her name, or pays using a card it is mentioned. She keeps hoping the writers will kill off this character.

[Clangus00]

That would be that nursery off the list!
I would email them and tell them that the member of staff who cracked that remark just lost them business.

[ElizaPancakes]

This is what happens with anyone that has an instantly recognisable name. I hope you feel for my friend Rose West when we were teens in the 90s.

It would irritate me yes. Not enough to discount an otherwise good and convenient nursery. Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.

[Frangible]

You're not being remotely over-sensitive. It is appalling that someone thinks a missing child is a topic available for a spot of 'hilarious' bantz (or conversation in a professional context????) which takes it way above the level of annoyance and 'Did you think I don't hear that a lot?'

I know exactly what you mean, as I have the same first name as a longterm famous person known for public struggles with MH documented with faux-concern in the tabloids, and I get the same kind of dimwitted remark regularly. (In my case, I am a generation younger than this person, and bear no resemblance whatsoever to them.)

I'm extremely forthright in response, and, depending on what was actually said (one included an imitation of said person from a junior washing my hair in the hairdresser's) tend to leave a silence and say 'I'm embarrassed for you that you thought that it was appropriate to say that out loud' or something along those lines, or the perennially-useful 'Could you repeat that?' which is non-aggressive, and could simply mean you didn't hear, but which sometimes makes the dopey think again.

[PhilSwagielka]

OP, doesn't anyone ever mention the book about that little French girl with red hair? That's what Madeleine always makes me think of. Or the cake.

[Thereisasystem]

Sudo I really don't think a song name association is anything like that of a missing child tbh.

[AtmosClock]

YANBU - However, I knew a Harry Potter, who spent the first 40 years of his life with a normal name, and then, wow, just imagine trying to convince the Police you weren't joking when they ask for your name.

[Frangible]

This is what happens with anyone that has an instantly recognisable name. I hope you feel for my friend Rose West when we were teens in the 90s

But the OP isn't called 'Madeleine McCann'. She's called 'Madeleine Somethingelsetirely'. Madeleine is an ordinary enough name, like Rose. I certainly know several adult ones who are considerably older than MMcC would be now, if she's alive, though I imagine the name declined in popularity after her disappearance.

[KUGA]

Ignorant twats.
Try and ignore them if possible.

[Perisoire]

@FudgeBrownie2019

However, I also think that because of the controversy of MM's disappearance and her parents behaviour etc

How callous. They lost their child FFS!

[from123toabc]

I absolutely love the name and I have it on 'the list' for when we have DC2. I hadn't even made the connection to the McCann thing but you've totally made me think twice now. Such a shame as it is a gorgeous name.

As for your AIBU. you are definitely not. People are bloody awful-who would say that to a person!

[Girasole02]

That's disgusting. It would get the death stare and 'really?' from me. I second the person who suggested pointing out that this has just cost their company business.

[Helmetbymidnight]

These people are thick insensitive cunts.

I don't know what else to say.

[sanam2019]

very odd. I had a colleague called Madeline last year and I did not even once make the connection, agree it's not appropriate. It's a fairly well known name.

[sweeneytoddsrazor]

A lot of people will instantly think of her though when the name is mentioned. That shows what a good job has been made of keeping a missing child in the news. Very few people would instantly think of Ben Needham if you were introduced to somebody called Ben. Very crass to make jokes about it though.

[Becca19962014]

I came from somewhere very close to where a mass murderer lived.

Everyone would comment if I needed to give my address. When I moved away to uni I had to give my parents address, everyone would comment.

Really nasty things - did I know them? Why didn't I stop them? Did I help them? Did I know any of the victims? Did I hear screams? The sorts of things, if you have lived through that you ask yourself and wonder if you could have done something (I was 19 when I moved out and this all happened years before that - though thank god years before the bloody Internet it was still really bad with local journalists pounding on the door).

Before I moved away I thought it was a regional thing, now decades later the world has moved on so no one really thinks of it even if I say where I'm from originally unless it's been in the papers, but for over a decade people would bring it up if I said I lived there - yes even professional people like Drs, uni staff, bank staff anyone I had no choice but to tell my parents address to.

Some people are really this idiotic, being a professional doesn't mean you're not a bloody idiot.

[berlinbabylon]

Very odd. I sent an email to a Maddie only this morning and didn't think of that.

A friend's sister is Madeleine and I have never made the connection.

I guess if your surname was also Mcsomething it might trigger something.

[TheTrollFairy]

Its an odd association to make imo.
When I hear the name Maddie or Madeline I don’t automatically think of Madeline McCann

[LiveInAHidingPlace]

People who make the same stupid jokes you've heard 100 times are fucking boring.

I think most people just don't engage their brain before they open their mouths.

[Adversecamber22]

It’s not funny and it is insensitive.

As an aside when I think of the name Madeleine I immediately think and always will of apricot Madeleines, the cake. Due to my sisters story of this cake. Hopefully we will meet one day or you will meet someone like me who will mention your cake related name and you will be relieved.

[NoSauce]

The person who said that at the nursery should be spoken to by their manager. Hopefully it wasn’t the manager that said that. It’s just thick and offensive behaviour.

[Ravenblack]