To be cross over aggressive mum in car park

[Member345787]

Just venting on here really!

Picked up DS6 and DD5 from club and returned to my car which is parked in a public car park. DC begin bickering in the back seat as usual! We are in the car a few minutes talking and putting on seatbelts. When I started the engine with the handbrake still on, my reversing sensor sounded. I looked out of the rear view mirror again and couldn't see anything but someone shouted loudly at me from the side of the car. It turns out to be a mum who is v.v. cross as her children were walking behind my car at the point I had started the engine.

I apologised immediately and explained that I hadn't seen them. She carried on shouting at me, and this deteriorates with her saying I shouldn't have a driving licence etc etc. She was frightening my (younger than hers) children, and as we weren't getting anywhere after my apology, I closed my window and (carefully) reversed out of the car parking space. She carried on shouting at me, and then as I pulled away, took her mobile phone out and photographed my car. She waited whilst I drove around the car park to the exit where I had to pass near her again, and shouted some more.

I get that she is cross at the "near miss", although I honestly couldn't see anyone in my mirrors. I also get that she/her children might not have realised we were in the car as we had been inside a few minutes and she might not have seen us get in. I also understand it would have been completely different if I had reversed into her child!

I don't care that she has a photo of my car but it felt a bit aggressive when she took it. I am just cross at her extreme reaction to what was a mistake (and I hold my hands up to being distracted by my children instead of 100% concentrating on driving). The whole incident left me with a nasty taste in my mouth, and more importantly my children keep asking me "will the shouty lady be in the car park next time we are club?"

You can not position mirrors so you ca see the back of you car and cant presume everyone can afford a car with a rear parking camera. A rear parking camera is not legal requirement.

I took my driving test last year (passed first time) and as part of my test, I was asked to park in a bay by driving in and reversing out. Luckily my driving instructor had taught me how - along with the advice the it was better to reverse in wherever possible!

I often switch on the engine a few minutes before physically moving, sometimes turning on the music/replying to a message quickly etc.

With these kind of people I normally assume there is either a lot going on for them or theyve had a particularly bad day as this seems a huge over reaction and really theres a responsibility on her to keep the children safe walking through a car park/walking behind parked cars.

I passed my driving test about a year and a half ago and had to do a forward bay park and reverse out again as part of my test, so I'm not sure what all these people are on about who think that this is something you're somehow not supposed to do.

It is safer but they wouldn’t teach forward bay parking if it was illegal

I wasn't ever taught it.

This is why parent and child parking spaces right next to a store entrance are in my (unpopular) opinion a god idea - so kids aren't trailing across a car park.

(I was in a car park once when a toddler was killed by a reversing car)

I always hold my kids hands through a car pack and don’t let them get too near the cars. If her kids weren’t seen and you did hit them, as awful as it is it would have been entirely her fault. Getting angry because you are scared is fair enough, but taking a picture? Weird.

@Ilikethisone don’t believe I made any mention of children, under the control of parents or not.

You are of course correct - but my point about reversing into a space being safer still stands.

How on earth have we decided the other mother wasn’t supervising her dc? Op didn’t notice them when preparing to move, or when moving because by her own admission she doesn’t even know when or if she moved. So how does anyone assume this woman was doing anything but walking along with well supervised dc when a car suddenly starts reversing at them?

The baby in car seat scenario aside, I’m also concerned by how many people seem to think it’s up to everyone else to notice you’ve decided to move, rather than the drivers responsibility to check.

And for whichever poster said you don’t need a licence on a private car park, although a lot of the driving witnessed on them would imply that to be the case, it’s simply not true. You can only drive without a licence on private land with no public access.

I'm surprised more UK cars don't have backup cameras. I hate driving without one now.

@ElizaPancakes we are talking about this situation. That involved kids.

The kids could have just have easily ran behind a car reversing into a parking spot. Because kids dont make good and safe decisions.

So how does anyone assume this woman was doing anything but walking along with well supervised dc when a car suddenly starts reversing at them?

We don't. But even if that's what happened, the op wasn't at fault. The driver must make reasonable attempts to check before reversing but the law accepts that they don't have X ray vision. Always be vigilant and hold their hands, or carry them or strap them into a buggy, if they're too small to be seen when stood behind cars.

This is why it's recommended that drivers reverse into car park spaces.

Car parks are hazardous, her kids were her responsibility to keep safe. She should have anticipated cars reversing etc and kept her kids hands.

Imagine if it was a Childminder who was walking with children? Who'd get the blame then? Not the car driver that's for sure!

Sometimes people act like dicks because they are one, but also because they're in the wrong but won't accept their mistake.

Come off it twaddle the op isn’t even sure whether she was moving and admits to paying more attention to her dc. That’s hardly being free from fault or making reasonable attempts to check. It’s as bloody dangerous as not being sure whether you were waving your carving knife around.

Of course a pedestrian should always take every possible step to ensure their own safety, after all they’ll pay the highest price. But the legal obligation is still there for the driver to be aware and pay attention.

Maybe it’s simply because in decades of driving I’ve never had a near miss because I couldn’t see someone. But I’ve had countless walking on pavements or foot ways, or riding horses where a driver clearly hasn’t checked their surroundings/ paid full attention and then claims ‘they didn’t see me’. And I’ve witnessed many situations where I was driving and could see the pedestrian but another driver with a clearer line than me claims they couldn’t. Particularly outside schools, private driveways and car parks.

Thank you again everyone for all your comments! Again, lesson learned for me, and I absolutely appreciate the other mum was probably scared witless, but wish she had just accepted my apology and left it at that (hassled mum camaraderie and all that!)

FYI I drive a Honda Civic not a SUV and the parking sensors only sound when the car is put into reverse gear. The engine had been on for a few minutes and the handbrake was still on, I checked my mirrors and saw nothing (neither children nor the other mum in the mirrors) before putting the car into reverse and then I was still stationary as the sensors were sounding.

I get that it gave them all a fright/made them think I was reversing as my reverse lights would have come on. I didn't see her children in my mirror which makes me think there weren't behind the car as there were older (and therefore taller) then my DS (at least 7+ years). So it was a near miss. I guess their age means that hand holding might not be appropriate but I do feel she has some responsibility to teach them to watch out for cars in car parks, and to do so herself.

Anyway, thank you for your supportive comments and I will clock this one up to experience.

There is no law saying this. Nor does it make sense. A child could walk behind the car when reversing into a parking space

@Ilikethisone I was originally responding to the above comment. A child could, but should be under the control of the parent. I didn’t realise I needed to refer back to the this particular aspect of this post.

the op isn’t even sure whether she was moving and admits to paying more attention to her dc

Missed this bit and still can't find it having checked. Where is it? All I can see is that she still had her handbrake on and doesn't think she was moving.

Just checking mirrors is not enough in a car park where people may be walking. You need to turn round and look. If you can't physically do that then you shouldn't be driving into a parking space.

This is why it's recommended that drivers reverse into car park spaces.

This. I always reverse in. Reversing out is scary.

twaddle no idea how to quote from my phone. But ops second post.