To be cross over aggressive mum in car park

[Member345787]

Just venting on here really!

Picked up DS6 and DD5 from club and returned to my car which is parked in a public car park. DC begin bickering in the back seat as usual! We are in the car a few minutes talking and putting on seatbelts. When I started the engine with the handbrake still on, my reversing sensor sounded. I looked out of the rear view mirror again and couldn't see anything but someone shouted loudly at me from the side of the car. It turns out to be a mum who is v.v. cross as her children were walking behind my car at the point I had started the engine.

I apologised immediately and explained that I hadn't seen them. She carried on shouting at me, and this deteriorates with her saying I shouldn't have a driving licence etc etc. She was frightening my (younger than hers) children, and as we weren't getting anywhere after my apology, I closed my window and (carefully) reversed out of the car parking space. She carried on shouting at me, and then as I pulled away, took her mobile phone out and photographed my car. She waited whilst I drove around the car park to the exit where I had to pass near her again, and shouted some more.

I get that she is cross at the "near miss", although I honestly couldn't see anyone in my mirrors. I also get that she/her children might not have realised we were in the car as we had been inside a few minutes and she might not have seen us get in. I also understand it would have been completely different if I had reversed into her child!

I don't care that she has a photo of my car but it felt a bit aggressive when she took it. I am just cross at her extreme reaction to what was a mistake (and I hold my hands up to being distracted by my children instead of 100% concentrating on driving). The whole incident left me with a nasty taste in my mouth, and more importantly my children keep asking me "will the shouty lady be in the car park next time we are club?"

I have to trust that others are perfectly capable of keep their wits about them and their children under control.

That’s the thing though- you can’t trust that. There are idiots everywhere.

You shouldn't be reversing out of a space though. It's always safer to reverse in and drive out.

If that’s the case, someone needs to tell my driving instructors, past and present. I am always instructed to drive in and reverse out, using mirrors and the reverse camera hingy (technical term) to check for traffic or pedestrians.

Or you could just carry your bags from the trolley parked at the front of the car to the boot.

In many carparks these days you'll be lucky to get the bags between, and then you're hoping the person behind left enough space you can open your boot, then, of course you can't do that at all in the local Asda as their carpark is on a bit of a hill, and if you leave your shopping trolly then it makes a break for it (emphatically brought home the day that the lady in the car next to me picked out some bags and went to put them in her car (she'd reversed in, funnily enough), and while she was doing it, the trolley, complete with toddler, started heading off down the hill - we both sprinted for it and caught it within a few feet luckily!

In carparks you need to keep hold of small kids, and you need to stay on the walkway - we have a few firm rules for our kids, and not mucking about in carparks is one of them - they stay close, because you can't always see kids, and you can't always predict what cars are going to do.

If that’s the case, someone needs to tell my driving instructors, past and present. I am always instructed to drive in and reverse out, using mirrors and the reverse camera hingy (technical term) to check for traffic or pedestrians.

Yes, someone really does need to tell them!! Maybe that’s part of the reason why you’ve had more than one instructor!

OP it’s her responsibility to watch her own children in car parks you didn’t do anything wrong. Hope you and your DC’s are ok it must have shaken you all up having someone screaming at you xx

Yes, someone really does need to tell them!! shock Maybe that’s part of the reason why you’ve had more than one instructor!

I’ve had two instructors, and only because I moved city. I’m obviously going to pay more heed to them than some rando on the internets. Sorry, smartarse.

I will, however, raise the topic with current instructor at next week’s lesson, in the interests of fairness.

I think she was probably in a massive panic and lost it slightly. Not very nice for you but understandable. You could probably explain it to your children by saying that all mummies love their children very much and the mum was very upset because her children had walked behind the car, which is a reminder to us all to stick together in car parks etc etc. No need to make a big deal out of it or get upset.

I’m obviously going to pay more heed to them than some rando on the internets. Sorry, smartarse

you do whatever you feel is best. I know a driving instructor who was telling his students that 50mph was the NSL. There are idiots in all professions. I think you just happen to have found two of them.

grin you do whatever you feel is best. I know a driving instructor who was telling his students that 50mph was the NSL. There are idiots in all professions. I think you just happen to have found two of them.

I’m certainly going to ask! If I turn up to this test and get instructed to reverse into a bay, a manoeuvre I’ve never practised, I don’t fancy my chances. I will report back here anon! 🤚 **

I don't think I moved, if anything I was trying to get clutch bite (whilst trying to figure out why my sensor was going off)

Sorry OP, but looking at this then yes, you could have killed them. This is why tall cars are especially dangerous around children. If you can't see that you're clear to reverse you have to assume that you're not clear and double check.

Thank gods she got your attention.

If I turn up to this test and get instructed to reverse into a bay, a manoeuvre I’ve never practised

please change instructor! I can’t believe they’ve never even had you practise that manoeuvre. It is asked in tests. my instructor was my uncle who is now an examiner. Can’t believe they would take the chance that it isn’t asked. Ask them to show you it before your test. Is there anything else you think they might have missed out? Reversing round a corner? Hill start? Parallel parking? Emergency braking?

You have my sympathy OP. I usually drive an electric vehicle and have learned to be extra careful in carparks as people routinely ignore my car! My worst experience though was when driving DH's large diesel vehicle which is far from silent.

I was waiting to leave a motorway services car park one dark evening, had turned the car on and was waiting for all the family members in the vehicle to my left to gather their luggage and leave. Something they did at a snail's pace, oblivious to me waiting to make a move.

I watched and waited until they were finally ready, put the car into reverse and immediately heard the parking sensors beep. This was followed by half the family shouting at me. The muppets had put their baby in its car seat, behind my car. Right by the exhaust.

I'll admit the situation made my blood run cold, thinking about what might have been, but fortunately, I was being patient and didn't actually move when I heard the sensors beep. Like your situation OP, I'm sure the family were alarmed to see my reversing lights, but there is no excuse I can think of for putting a baby in a carrier behind a car with the engine turned on.

As drivers, of course, we must take care, but there are no excuses for idiotic parenting.

Parents need to take responsibility for their children's safety. I don't think you're in the wrong. Unfortunately there's a lot of mums who would rather blame someone else than accept they should have been 'on it'

Try to forget about it and remember if anything comes up she was being verbally abusive to you. You can call the police.

I’ve had someone actually reverse out into me when I was walking on a designated pedestrian strip in the road of a car park. Luckily I have quick reaction speeds. The worst part is that they stared me straight in the face before I walked behind their car, plus they weren’t indicating. I called them a few names and walked on. You weren’t in the wrong as you didn’t even move your car. She sounds like a lovely woman! (Sarcasm obvs)

Reversing round a corner? Hill start? Parallel parking? Emergency braking?

Reversing round a corner isn’t part of the test anymore. I think it was replaced by following the sat nav for 20 minutes.

Haven’t done hill start with instructor because I’m learning in an automatic. Practised it with a relative though and it was fine (presumably because, auto).

Parallel parking, emergency braking and reversing two car lengths I’ve done.

Reversing round a corner isn’t part of the test anymore. I think it was replaced by following the sat nav for 20 minutes.

Ah, didn’t realise this. I’m in NI and it’s still on our tests.

It is the driver's responsibility to make sure there is nothing behind them when reversing. (there was even a question in my theory test that made that fact clear):
"Look carefully before you start reversing. You should

1. use all your mirrors
2. check the ‘blind spot’ behind you (the part of the road you cannot see easily in the mirrors)
3. check there are no pedestrians (particularly children), cyclists, other road users or obstructions in the road behind you."

Sounds like you did 1, not 1,2 and 3.

*2. check the ‘blind spot’ behind you (the part of the road you cannot see easily in the mirrors)

1. check there are no pedestrians (particularly children), cyclists, other road users or obstructions in the road behind you*

How do you do this without getting out of your car to look?! How would the pp who said there was a baby in its car seat behind their car know this without getting out to look?

All you can do is have as much awareness as you can whilst you’re getting ready to reverse and use your mirrors, look over your shoulders.

Well of course we all need to be more careful when driving but she also has a responsibility as a parent to hold the kids hands and not to let them wonder off around a carpark by them selves. Yanbu

How do you do this without getting out of your car to look?

Well, according to the driving theory test YOU GET OUT AND LOOK if you cannot see - you certainly do not hope for the best and risk running over a child in a car park.

Ok,so I get out of my car, which I’ve just got into so have some idea of my surroundings, check my blind spot, check there are no pedestrians, cyclists etc behind my car, get back in my car, put on my seatbelt, check my mirrors, oh but now I need to get back out of my car to check if someone has walked/cycled/ randomly placed a baby behind my car in the time it’s just taken me to get back in....

You shouldn't be reversing out of a space though. It's always safer to reverse in and drive out.

Not much good if you need access to the boot to put in shopping, or kids' sports gear.

Or you have a car that you can see behind, or position extra mirrors so that you can see behind, or have a parking camera, or...

you just do not ever hope for the best and risk running over a child in a car park - I would have thought that was a given.

Or reverse very very slowly.

And parents, keep hold of their children and do not let them run in front in a car park.

Regardless of wwthwe op should or shouldn't have reversed in. Letting your kids run off in a car park is bloody dangerous.

Car parks are places where all people need to use caution be it drivers or pedestrians. A vehicle could move in any direction, and often there are idiot drivers at stupid speeds that don't give people manouvering reaction time.

Her overly aggressive reaction is unreasonable. Nobody was hit. There was no offence.

It amazes me how many idiots start walking behind cars with engines running or reverse lights on. I always keep a wide berth from a vehicle showing signs of potentially imminently manouvering. Children in particular need close supervision.