To not want to decorate sisters new house!

[Lillyrose80]

My sister has recently bought a house. It needs alot of work doing to it. She has left husband amicably and her ex husband is extremely supportive and has kids alot.
She is quite a pushy character as aposed to myself who can't be assed frankly and don't ever feel comfortable making people feel bad for doing something they don't want to do.
I have 2 kids btw, single parent, extremely unsupportive ex I do everything by myself. I have always been totally independent.
My sister has never really been there for me she only really contacts when she wants something. We've never been close if I'm honest.
She's added me to a group chat with other family member saying that she wants help to renovate new house giving us all jobs, painting, and laying carpets etc. Refurbishment. I just read the group chat and though wtf??? Is she f*cking kidding me or taking the absolute p*s?! I don't want to do this. I really don't feel I should volunteer my time to do this?? Its not my project it's hers
I would be more inclined to help a good friend as she has been quite horrid to me in the past. I really feel she is being a cheeky cow.
Now I know she will probably come back saying you have "free" time as I don't work like she does and my youngest started school this week. It is literally the first time I have had no kids at home in years. I have just signed up to study again and get myself out there so I can now get myself a career. I'm just pist off that she assumes I'm helping!!??!! And my life is overlooked. Now I need some advice please on what to say. I don't want to fall out with her so please give diplomatic response SUGGESTIONS PLEASE :)

AIBU?

Just leave the group.

That's brilliant @Disfordarkchocolate I like it

“This is a good idea, I have a few jobs need doing too! Shall we swap 4 hours for 4 hours? I’ll do Tuesday decorating for you and you do Saturday babysitting for me?”

Omg I would SO LOVE to do this !!!! But I've signed up for my course. Give me a shout at half term if you're not done and I will see if I have a free day. Wishing you lots of luck, can't wait to see the end result !!! Yay!!!

Over exuberance is very hard to disagree with ...

Agree, leave the group

Leave the group and learn how to say the word NO.

I'd also just leave the group and not say anything. There's something SO satisfying about that.

I second leaving the group or if that’s going to cause an issue don’t engage. Don’t open it again at all.. if she contacts you directly tell her with kids and your own education you can’t get involved. If you don’t say no from outset you will end up doing work... she won’t care about how you feel from her previous form. Sorry op time to woman up

she's a cf, i wouldn't be engaging with this at all, esp.as you have history with her.

Ignore ignore ignore. She is trying it on.

Leave the group. Although I should imagine she'll get her arse handed to her on a plate. Maybe let someone else do that before you leave, so you can watch.

If she tries to engage, ignore.

Just reply LOL

Leave the group!

Sorry being nosy - but what do you do for money if you don’t work and have unsupportive ex and youngest child is school age?

Omg absolutely leave the group!

After saying, "so happy you've bought your dream house! Enjoy the challenge 😘"

Don't respond and leave the group

No need to reply at all. Just leave the group message as suggested. That will tell her you're not interested without you having to say anything. If she messages you separately just tell her you're not available to decorate her house - no explanation required. She sounds like a right CF.

No advice just joining because I really want to see how this pans out

If she wouldn't do the same for you. leave the group and be prepared to tell her why.

"I'm too busy with my own shit and really don't have time to renovate your house!"

This is the sort of thing my sister would do. I moved in January and spent a couple of weeks previous to that just painting etc. She had offered help which was really nice but when it actually came down to it did fuck all. I asked if she could pick up one of my children from school one day (during the decorating) as is was my last day to get things done before the move and time was against me and she refused because she didn't have time (she did) but now frequently requests babysitting and other favours. I'm a soft touch. Don't be like me!

If you've made a conscious decision to be a doormat passive in your relationships, how can this possibly surprise you?

Your logic for letting people walk all over you was that you didn't want to make them feel bad. How are you feeling right now? Good?

You'd have better relationships if you learnt to be assertive.

www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Assertiveness

Another vote for leaving the group, which speaks for itself. Alternatively an MN favourite "Sorry that doesnt work for me."

Unless she’s asked directly, just ignore her nonsense.

either mute the group and ignore or leave it

cheeky cow lol!!