AIBU to have try for a natural birth after 4c sections?

[ClareBear2019]

I've just found out that I'm pregnant with DC #4. My previous 3 DC were all c sections, the 1st emergency, the next 2 elective. I want to try for a natural birth this time, as I know c sections get progressively more risky the more you have. DH says I'm being ridiculous and says a c section is the safest option. I see both options as having risks, so why not take the least damaging one?
AIBU for wanting to at least try for a natural birth? WWYD?

@BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil that sounds like a comprehensive and sensible plan and hats off to your consultant. I think the key with you is that you've done it once and you know your body is capable. That's a massive factor I think. Good luck

Vaginal birth may not be then 'least damaging' one though.
I think you're crazy, just go for a c section!
I've had 2 and if I have another baby I'll definitely go for elective c section.
You only have to look at the posts on the childbirth section of MN to see why vaginal birth isn't always amazing, natural, least damaging....

They won't be able to do a full induction because of your previous sections. They will probably try a couple of pessaries and, if nothing happens, you'll have a section, probably the next day.
So it's that, wait to go into labour, or an elective c section.
For me it would be a complete no brainer, I'd have the c section and consider that my family complete.
I understand that if you are dreaming of more children, that might be very hard.
In that case, I'd ask to see the consultant again and ask them to be very straight with you about your options.

You can have more than 4 sections. I said it in an earlier comment but a friend of mine had five and I know it’s a rubbish ‘famous’ example but Katie Price did too.

My friend has no lasting damage from her sections at all.

Just saying that in response to you fearing you won’t be able to have another child after this one. You probably will.

OP you can have lifelong complications from any vaginal birth. There are many threads about this on mumsnet. No method of delivery is foolproof. But in your case, I think it is selfish and very foolish to insist on vaginal birth. Your baby is the priority not your whims and desires.

OP, I desperately want another baby, but I simply can’t have one. I have twin toddlers, both of whom are disabled. It’s hard enough to meet their needs as it is. And although my baby making parts are functional, I have endometriosis and adenomyosis which causes me constant pain. So instead of another baby, I’m facing a hysterectomy and a lifetime of caring for two children with additional needs. We don’t know yet if there’s a genetic issue with my boys so I can’t risk another.

I could have another baby, but I would be stupid to have one. There comes a time when it’s just not a good idea.

You’re having a fourth baby. That’s amazing. For you and your baby and your other children, you need to focus on keeping yourself and your baby as well as humanly possible, avoiding death and disability if at all possible. Then assess where you stand.

You CAN have as many sections as you want. Your risk of death just goes up significantly after 3. VBAC after more than 1 is also much more risky. Yes most people would be fine (the “my friend was fine” is not evidence that they are safe) but if it goes wrong it can go really wrong. Being alive is more important than being able to have a FIFTH child!

@ClareBear2019 - I have a friend who had five c-sections. Basically, after each section the consultant told her whether her scar and the surrounding tissue were robust enough for her to go ahead with a subsequent pregnancy. Her final pregnancy was twins, and after that, she decided that was enough.

But clearly it is possible to have five sections, and to have a higher risk pregnancy (a twin one) after four sections - so having a section to deliver this child doesn't spell the end of your chances to have another child. It just depends on how well you heal up each time, and on your consultant's opinion about the safety of a subsequent pregnancy.

Good luck with this pregnancy, and with your lovely new, squidgy baby!

Listen OP, I was cleared to have a VBA2C but DD ended up being a CS due to an underlying problem with my heart FLARING.

I want a 4th child and after being cleared to go for a VBAC last time I’m not going to try for one this time, even though I asked the surgeon post delivery if it was adhesions ahoy in there and (HER WORDS) “nope, you’ve healed well from the first two”. So in theory for me the option could fly but here’s why I won’t:

• what’s the point of me taking a risk on an unknown procedure when I know what I’m facing with a CS?

• I’ve come to terms with “never giving birth naturally”.

• last 2 babies struggled to breathe at birth and that was a headfuck enough. I don’t want to invite any more element of risk

• clinically my trust would probably advise against

• and finally I want to be sterilised next time and stop at 4. I understand that’s different to your plan.

Come to terms with the reality that you’re likely to be mourning or feeling bereft not having laboured and that’s normal and fine. If I were you though, don’t risk it.

Ps: if one CS is for “failure to progress” after gels, pessaries etc your consequent VBAC success rate sits below 25%. (From a book called “Vaginal birth after Caesarian”)

FWIW there are some utterly nasty shit posts on this thread.

The OP is canvassing for opinion, not judgement on family size or environmental impact.

Stop treating her like she’s in the stocks.

Stop being twats.

My bladder was torn during my 3rd.
I took a long time to get over the fact that I wouldn’t be able to have more dc.
Looking back now (13 years later) I spent such a long time being sad for the children that I couldn’t have rather than the children that I already had. That is what upsets me more now.

I'm not being a twat but I am also very much of the opinion that she should stop at 4 and focus on the children she's already got (already too many).

She's posting on an Internet forum, people can give their opinion.

I'm sorry OP but to me, you sound like you're more concerned about your potential to have more children is more important than the safety of yourself and your unborn baby.

The consultant's job is to worry about how to get a mother and baby through childbirth alive and as healthy as possible not whether or not you'll be able to have more children in the future.

You already have 3 children with a 4th on the way, you should be focusing on that not non-existent 5th, 6th, 7th child.

but obviously I cant keep having c sections.

Struggling to understand why this is obvious to you, but that VBAC is somehow on the table?!

It's a shame but I think you need to be realistic about the number of children you'll be able to safely have and focus on what you have.

In your position I would have the section and call it a day at that.

Totally possible, I know this woman from a group I’m in
www.aims.org.uk/journal/item/an-impossible-dream

However, I also know of a woman who had had 5 (I think it was) sections who then developed placenta percreta and ended up with an emergency hysterectomy and lots of surgery to her bladder after the birth.

I had an emergency C section with my middle of three. It was by far the easiest recovery.
I do really understand a woman's basic need to give birth naturally, however, the other basic need is for " Healthy mother, healthy baby"
Having read that atrocious link story, that mother's need outweighed the risk to herself and her baby. Happily ( and smugly) all was well.
If one is in any doubt about the experience of obstetricians then I would urge you to read " This is going to Hurt" by Adam Kay.
They cannot always be "patient centred". These doctors have to make a judgement and if they feel they can't support a woman's decision, because they have seen too much tragedy then so be it, it is their registration and career on the line.
Yes, doctors see triumph every day, bit it is the tragedy that stays with you and informs how you practice, which may be risk averse, but possibly has the greatest chance of a happy outcome and them not ending up in court. I can assure you the courts would take a dim view of " But she wanted it"
OP, I really wish you the best, and i DO understand, I'm afraid that link gave me the red mist!
Good luck

@PaulHollywoodsSexGut agreed but this is AIBU tbf, lots of posters think anyone who has more than two children (to ‘replace’ their parents) should be hung, drawn and quartered.

It doesn't matter what the hosp policy is or what a doctor, consultant or midwife tell you about what they think you should do. You can go against medical advice!
It's your choice, no one else's. You decide what risks you want to take.

Make an informed decision and research the actual risk of rupture because it may be ever so small.

And DH should be supporting YOU, not calling you ridiculous for exploring your options!

Not all VBACs are equal in risk. The closer you've gone to delivering vaginally, the better the odds. As with any VB, complications can occur, and in a VBAC, the staff are very trigger happy with the red button at any sign of distress because of the potential for scar rupture. So it's very common to labour your way through labour, then end up with a technically harder EMCS to recover from too which many women opting for VBAC have previously experienced and often struggled with physically and mentally.

DS2 was a successful VBAC at the cost of an unpleasant and very painful birth injury due to forceps. Fortunately no significant lasting harm to me or any to him. He was right on the cusp of tough forceps vs tough CS due to his awkward position in the birth canal during the pushing stages. Personally if I ever did have another, after an EMCS and 3rd degree tear, I'd go for the more reliable option of ELCS (doctors said it was an open choice given both rough experiences of delivery)

Generically, I'm not anti- VABC and I got positives from the experience and made the best choice I could make with what I knew at the time. It's a gamble though, and OP's odds are not encouraging.

I was booked for an induction. However DS1 was a spontaneous labour at 39 weeks and my body made it as far as fully dilated and 2 hours of pushing. The chances of my body not being ready for birth at 42 weeks were pretty low. DS2 came spontaneously on EDD, so a few days later than DS1.

I had 4 sections in 6 years.

I was told not even to attempt a vbac.

Then one of my friends did rupture during her vbac, so there was no way I was even going to try.

And I was sterilized during the delivery, which was an added bonus for me!

It should go without saying that it's up to you OP.
If it's within your means, an Independent Midwife would be able to talk over the risks/benefits with you, most are happy to be hired solely for this service. Do you have notes from your previous births, having those would help make a choice too.
imuk.org.uk/families/find-a-midwife/

You can go against medical advice!

Well yes, but consultants don’t tend to recommend c sections for shits and giggles.

Induction increases the risk of rupture and breaking your waters sounds like a bad idea too. It'll just put you on the clock and they'll be edgy (intervention rates are highest in hosp births) so they possibly may not give you the chance you deserve once they break your waters. They'll give you all the "infection risk goes up" and "you have 24 hours to go into labour" crap.

And you potentially not taking a hcps advice they may or may not have given you doesn't give ANY consultant the right to talk to you in a rude and abrupt manner! Attitude like that should always be reported.
They're meant to support you, advise you and give you correct and up to date information so you can make an informed decision.

It's also not selfish to want a VBAC. No mother in the right mind puts her kids second. 🙄

What matters about any birth is that BOTH mum and baby are healthy. It also matters that mum was and is content with how things went.

I think you'll be off asking a specific Fb group, op. 💐