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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To embrace the grey?

95 replies

DifficultSituation19 · 09/09/2019 13:52

I’m 38 and have been going grey for 15 years now. It’s got to the point where the top half of my head is all grey, but I think the bottom half is still mostly my natural colour (medium brown).

I’m getting proper sick of having it dyed...really it needs doing every 2 weeks as I have annoying little baby hairs around the top of my forehead which are the first to need doing again, but after three weeks I have noticeable regrowth all over the top half of my hair.

I tried highlights, as I thought that would make the regrowth less obvious, but I don’t think it did make it any less obvious, and blonde really didn’t suit me.

I am so bored of going to the salon/doing root touch ups at home in-between/covering any greys with the powder stuff before I leave the house. I’m wondering if it’s time to just give in.

The thing is, apart from the grey I do look young for my age, people normally guess my age at around 10 years younger, I don’t really have any wrinkles and I’m (vainly) worried that if I went full on grey I’d start looking really old.

Also, I don’t know how to go about it? I have quite long hair and the In betweeny stage could last for years! Or maybe I could get it bleached and dyed grey? Short hair looks awful on me so chopping it all off isn’t really an option.

OP posts:
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hennybeans · 09/09/2019 19:37

I'm in the same boat and a similar age. I wish I could go grey but I know on me it would seriously age me and I just can't do it. I wish more women were brave enough to do it though. Maybe in ten years.

Incidentally, if you do go grey, get a hairdresser's advice. I'm sure they can do something to make it more subtle as it grows out. Worth spending the money, I think. My sister in law went natural at 50 by going cold turkey with the hair dye. She couldn't really afford to have a hairdresser's help, but had several months with terrible looking hair as it was half dark brown and half very silver grey.

percheron67 · 09/09/2019 19:54

I took up the challenge about 18 months ago and am so pleased with the result! I am all over grey now and lucky enough that it is iron grey (for horse lovers!) at the bottom and silver on top.

I think it was more ageing when I had shades of colour coming through. The parting appeared within 10 - 14 days and I hated it. I have a slightly different cut now and blow dry it blown back at the sides. Hope this helps!!

Original poster
DifficultSituation19 · 09/09/2019 19:56

Hiya, thanks for the reply. I have consultations at 3 different hairdressers this week, I’m taking this seriously Grin. I found this pic online and I think she looks amazing, she said that she started the transition by dying nearly all of her hair white blonde (with highlights I guess), then letting the top half grow out grey, and doing the underneath blonde. My hair is a similar length and a bit wavy like hers, and I actually look a bit like her too, so I’m hoping it would suit me. I’m actually really excited about it...and if it looks shit I can dye it brown again!

To embrace the grey?
OP posts:
MrsJBaptiste · 09/09/2019 19:56

There's no way I'll be going grey any time soon (44) as no matter what people say, it does age you and on the majority of people does not look great.

However that's not a popular view on MN so I'll be prepared to be told I'm wrong!

Teenagemaw · 09/09/2019 19:57

If you are on instagram look up grombre lots of grey inspo on there.

Teenagemaw · 09/09/2019 19:59

I found this pic online to take to my haidresser, i like how it is greyer at the bottom.

To embrace the grey?
Malibucyprus · 09/09/2019 20:16

I’ve been going grey since age 21, now 36, used to get away with my colour lasting 6-8 weeks, now within 2 weeks of colouring my hair, every new regrowth is white 😭

I use root touch up, I think it’s by nice n easy, I just brush it onto my roots once a fortnight.

salty78 · 09/09/2019 20:18

I took the chalenge too and after 18 months would not go back to dye. My natural black and white hair suits me so much better than the brassy orange of my old dyed brunette hair which made my skin actually look yellow. I now have a white malham streak either side which I love and once the last of the dye is gone I'm getting layers to show them off better.

I don't agree grey hair makes people look older at all. I took inspiration from the grombre posts on Instagram which show how individual and varied everyone's natural colour is and how fantastic natural grey hair looks.

Growing out the dye is not an easy process (cold turkey more difficult than highlights/lowlights to get through it) and feels at times like its taking ages but it's definitely worth a go.

Poing · 09/09/2019 20:42

My mum went grey young and struggled a lot with accepting her natural colour. Maybe because dad has a head of still dark hair. Regardless, mum dyed her hait for years with often unfortunate results but I will always remember when she simply stopped and embraced her white hair. Her hair just is glorious. It really suits her and I think she wears it with pride now.

I was therefore inspired from a young age to let my hair simply be. I am nearly forty and have a nice silver streak that is steadily expanding. It is sometimes hard, (comparing myself to others does not help!) but mostly not. I also quite enjoy seeing other ladies who have embraced their greys, especially if they are quite stylish.

Good luck, OP

TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 09/09/2019 20:45

I'm 34 and was dying my hair for years as I started going grey in my teens... can't be bothered with it anymore so I've stopped.

EdWinchester · 09/09/2019 20:47

I think it can look ok on some people. But on the vast majority, it looks pretty awful.

Sparklesocks · 09/09/2019 20:51

There is a big grey community on Instagram - look up hashtags #silverhairdontcare #goinggrey #greyhairmovement #ditchthedye

cardibach · 09/09/2019 20:56

I think it can look ok on some people. But on the vast majority, it looks pretty awful
What a bizarre comment. Looks awful how? Would you say that about any other hair colour? Or do you mean it makes women not look 25 (do you mean men look awful too? I doubt it). Not being 25 is not a negative, and not a bad look. I hate this attitude about age.

SandunesAndRainclouds · 09/09/2019 21:01

I’m 40 and decided about 3 years ago that I couldn’t be arsed with dying my hair any more and once it started going grey I’d let it - my mum spent years with home hair dyes with various shades of red, brown or teddy brown all of which washed her out. Her natural grey is much better.

domton · 09/09/2019 21:46

I think I was 36 when I gave up. I had naturally very dark hair, and my 'grey' hair is silver white. The roots were annoying, to say the least. I have very pale skin, and light blue eyes, so lighter colors made me look washed out and ill.

I stripped all the dye out, dyed it silver, and that was the last dye. Love not having to bother, but not for everyone. :)

ladyshapes82 · 10/09/2019 07:09

I’m 37 and started going grey in my early twenties. I’d been dyeing my hair (at home) since then until about two years ago, when I decided to embrace it and quit the dye cold turkey. I have naturally very dark hair and it’s still pretty dark now, just with some greys throughout and more around the front. I’m a big fan of red lipstick, which I think helps me not look washed out with the grey around my face. I would never go back to the hassle of dyeing my hair now. I guess I’m lucky that I didn’t have a big silver stripe though; it was much more subtle on me. Good luck OP! I’ve found it very liberating and hope it does the same for you. I’m glad that as I get older and go greyer, it’s all going to happen naturally and I won’t have to make a drastic decision about it in the future.

malificent7 · 10/09/2019 07:13

Grey hair looks great..it's been in fashion even amongst the youth recently.
I love white hair too.

EdWinchester · 10/09/2019 18:47

It looks good on young people because they’re young and their skin tone is still forgiving.

The two people I know (over 40) who’ve gone grey look whey-faced.

MrsMozartMkII · 10/09/2019 18:48

I'm happily going grey disgracefully.

Mercedes519 · 10/09/2019 18:54

You can soften the re-growth with highlights. I had 75% at one cut and the 50% at the next one which softened the line between Brown dye and my natural bright silver.

it's liberating, saves time and a lot of money and for me it was important to be 'me' rather than 'maintaining' something that wasn't there.

Maybe if more women did this we would get away from some of the quite offensive comments on here and move us on from the 1950's attitude that women have to suffer to stay 'youthful'. Double standards much when men are 'silver foxes'

hanahsaunt · 10/09/2019 19:06

I started going grey in my early 20s and am now 45. My grey is silver and white and blonde interspersed with the original brown. I have never ever dyed it not least because I observed my mother wrestle with dye miserably for nearly 30 years. I don't give a monkey's what anyone thinks. Then I was made party to a conversation that two friends had last week in which they discussed how fabulous they thought my hair colour was - it was so unexpected and so lovely. It was such an overt endorsement of just embracing it.

hoxtonbabe · 10/09/2019 19:16

Same boat here.. the front of my hair is 95% grey, then gradually lessens as it goes back, then I have dyed it various colours ( as black hair makes me look old/dull) so I essentially i a mix of auburn, blonde, black and grey.. I actually look like my kittens sister who was a tortoiseshell of all those colours!

If it all just was grey, at least 70% I’d be happy to leave it but It’s not enough grey yet to rock it.

Cocolapew · 10/09/2019 19:25

I went grey at Easter, I'm 50 and this is the third time I've done it.
It's very light around my face with darker bits towards the back.
I've had it very short for years and shaved it to a number 2 to grow it in, I had been bleaching it.
It looks amazing, it actually sparkles in the sun, and suits my skin tone so much better.
Not the best photo but this is what it's like atm. I'm growing my layers in to show off the colour even more.

To embrace the grey?
Cocknose · 10/09/2019 19:29

I have been dye free for 2 years. It is tough with the initial regrow but I am now 40 and wish that I had done it years ago.

To embrace the grey?
RaspberryB3r3t · 10/09/2019 21:48

I've stopped dying mine, it hasn't been very long (I think last dye was in June) but I already have about 1-2 inches of grey.

It is quite scary as I'm 'only' 34, however I'm so sick of dying it for it to look ok for about a week before the grey starts peeping through again.

I also have 2 young DDs who I want to show it's ok to be grey and natural, it doesn't change who you are inside.

It's going to be hard as it already looks pretty strange, but I'm looking forward to seeing my natural hair emerge over the coming months/years

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