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AIBU . . . To use a similar name?
90

BabyCOnBoard · 08/09/2019 19:23

Hi all,

I have a feeling I am being unreasonable but I just want to check . . .

My friend recently had a baby girl and I’m currently 39 weeks pregnant! I hadn’t decided my baby girl name to use but recently I love a particular name that happens to be very similar to hers (her DD is Lillian and I like the name Lilia) Do you think it would be unreasonable for me to use this name? she picked first and it’s not exactly a name I had my heart set on from the start so I worry it might ruffle some feathers!I don’t see her everyday as we don’t live too near each other but we are quite close. Can I get away with it as it’s slightly different or should I go back to the drawing board?

Fingers crossed I have a boy and I won’t have to worry! 😂 xx

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

LemonAddict · 08/09/2019 19:25

It’s very very similar. It is almost the same name.

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GreenTulips · 08/09/2019 19:25

I wouldn’t but people will be on here with that don’t own a name. Personally I value friendship over a child’s name - there slots of choice and Lilly type names have been over used and will date.

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Windydaysuponus · 08/09/2019 19:25

Imo unless they will be in the same class at schools it's fine! Nobody owns a name!!

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LemonAddict · 08/09/2019 19:26

Damn, pressed post too soon... I would choose something different.

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PennyNotSoWise · 08/09/2019 19:27

Honestly, I don't think YABU but I know some people get really funny over things like this.

I think, if you have your heart set on the name then you should just use it. Life's too short to be pandering and worrying what others will think.

And good luck with bubba :)

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DramaAlpaca · 08/09/2019 19:27

It's very similar.

As a side note, it might not bother you, but Lilia used to be the name of a brand of sanitary towels. I'm old enough for that to be the first thing I thought of when I read the name.

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Cannotresist · 08/09/2019 19:28

Is lilia a name? I’ve never heard of it. I’d go lilli or Lila if you like Lillian

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NoSauce · 08/09/2019 19:29

I wouldn’t. It’s a weak name and sounds kind a tampon.

Just find something else OP. So many other names out there.

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TheMustressMhor · 08/09/2019 19:31

Jeez.

I immediately thought of the sanitary towels too.

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LaMarschallin · 08/09/2019 19:35

I didn't particularly like it when SiL named her daughter something almost identical to mine.
Imagine something like: Ellen Marguerite instead of Elaine Margaret.

I couldn't understand why she'd done it.
Of course, I didn't say anything (I don't own any names) but it was strange.

Presumably the reason you suddenly love it is nothing to do with your friend's baby's name?

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HeadLikeAFkingOrange · 08/09/2019 19:39

Depending when last week she had her baby, even if they ended up in the same school, they'd be in different years if her DD is an end of August baby. Smile

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Jenasaurus · 08/09/2019 19:42

My cousin name her DS the same first and second name as my eldest DS. It didn’t bother me as they don’t see each other we just share the same taste in names

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Aprillygirl · 08/09/2019 19:48

Your friend doesn't own the name Lillian of course but won't you feel a bit of a berk when you tell her you've given your child basically the same name as her DD's? I know I would.

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Skittlenommer · 08/09/2019 20:03

Use it, she doesn’t own it. Multiple people have the same name in the world.

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DifficultSituation19 · 08/09/2019 20:07

My best friend as a kid has the same first name as me. Still my best friend nearly 30 years later! That was just a coincidence as we didn’t know each other for the first few years of life but really, it was never a problem.

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Atlasta · 08/09/2019 20:10

Fine unless they will be in the same class which is probably unlikely as you don't live close.
I'd be upfront and tell her how you feel and see how she reacts.

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bridgetreilly · 08/09/2019 20:12

I think of Lilian and Lilia as really quite different kinds of name, tbh. Lilian is old lady chic, Lilia is the Russian dancer who used to be on Strictly. So I say it's fine.

Tbh, I'd also say it was fine to use the same name, though. Unless you are very close family, it's really weird to me that people care about having children with the same name.

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Pinkblueberry · 08/09/2019 20:15

If you’re good friends, I would just run it by her - but really I would hope she wouldn’t mind. I wouldn’t. I have a cousin with the same name as me, and another cousin who has the same name as an uncle, so I’ve never really understood all this sanctity around names to be honest Grin

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Mamagunner · 08/09/2019 20:38

My cousin has a Katheryn and an Anna I have a Catherine and an Annaliese, but they were family names he's 20 years older than me and named his daughters first I didn't name mine until they arrived in this world and their names just fit, it wasn't until we announced and called family that I realized.

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AlpacaGoodnight · 08/09/2019 21:01

I think they are too close, anyone that knows you both will probably think you are a weird stalker! Of you weren't set on the name until recently I would change!

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OwlBeThere · 08/09/2019 21:05

It would annoy me. I wouldn’t say it, but as someone who’s ‘friend’ has recently used my DS’s unusual name for her DS and I’m secretly fuming about it a month later, please don’t.
I know people say you don’t own names, but it’s just a weird thing to do.

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Bitchfeatures · 08/09/2019 21:09

Yanbu, call your baby what you want, If she doesn't like it then that's her problem.
I suppose you could always run it past her before if you are really worried so you know how she feels. Lilia is lovely, much nicer than Lillian!

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GreenTulips · 08/09/2019 21:11

My sister named her eldest the same male version of younger sister child

They fell out

I wouldn’t do it. It’s quite rude.

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Floofsquidge · 08/09/2019 21:33

How about Leela? (From Futurama) it's a pretty name and close enough to Lilia and different enough from Lillian to avoid ruffling feathers.

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TeddyToaster · 08/09/2019 22:21

Yeah... I wouldn't do it. I get the school argument but surely you'll see each other a bit when they're babies and it's really similar. X

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