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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU . . . To use a similar name?

90 replies

BabyCOnBoard · 08/09/2019 19:23

Hi all,

I have a feeling I am being unreasonable but I just want to check . . .

My friend recently had a baby girl and I’m currently 39 weeks pregnant! I hadn’t decided my baby girl name to use but recently I love a particular name that happens to be very similar to hers (her DD is Lillian and I like the name Lilia) Do you think it would be unreasonable for me to use this name? she picked first and it’s not exactly a name I had my heart set on from the start so I worry it might ruffle some feathers!I don’t see her everyday as we don’t live too near each other but we are quite close. Can I get away with it as it’s slightly different or should I go back to the drawing board?

Fingers crossed I have a boy and I won’t have to worry! 😂 xx

OP posts:
HappyParent2000 · 15/09/2019 12:36

If they are your friend they won’t care if the names are similar or even the same.

They will understand you likes your choice of name and theirs had no effect.

If they can’t get over it leave them to it and see them when the have sorted themselves out.

BrendasUmbrella · 15/09/2019 12:55

To me it's very "follower" when someone picks a similar name as the one their friend picked when there are endless names out there. And both girls will probably be going by Lily once school starts anyway.

Phimma · 15/09/2019 12:57

Choose whichever name you like, if your friend is upset by the similarity she's not a true friend. #getoverherself #imitationisflattering

Dowser · 15/09/2019 13:16

Am Sure itwas a name for a tampon...and not Lillet either
I prefer lillyanne
If you want to go down the lilly route

StillCoughingandLaughing · 15/09/2019 13:16

Choose another name. Of course nobody owns a name, but it’s still odd that, out of the countless options available, to pick one that’s virtually identical to a friend’s choice. Nobody owns a colour scheme either, but I bet you’d find it odd if your friend redecorate weeks after you and choose almost the exact same one.

Yes, they might barely see each other growing up. They may also become the best of friends and find this irritating. I say this as someone who has a very similar name to a family member and hated how, at every family party, if someone called out either name, we’d both have to double-check who was being addressed.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 15/09/2019 13:17

Choose whichever name you like, if your friend is upset by the similarity she's not a true friend. #getoverherself #imitationisflattering

🤢🤢🤢

paw1977 · 15/09/2019 13:19

This is in the daily mail .

PrincessPain · 15/09/2019 13:21

I liked the name Finn, but a cousin (who I don't speak to) has a son called Finlee so I didn't use it.
I think it depends on how you feel more than anything. Or if you're worried about the friendship, just ask your friend, she might not be bothered.

Knittedfairies · 15/09/2019 13:26

My son is three years older than my friend's son. When he was born she rang me to ask if I was bothered if she chose the same name. I wasn't - and it's never been an issue or caused any problems. Use the name if you like it.

MilkTrayLimeBarrel · 15/09/2019 13:36

Awful name anyway - used to be a brand of sanitary towel!

Cakeorchocolate · 15/09/2019 13:39

It sounds like a bit of a whim since you haven't been set on it and haven't liked it long.

Talk to your friend and see how she reacts.

GlenDog75 · 15/09/2019 18:54

You aren't being unreasonable. It's a beautiful name and is not unpopular in Russia. Lilia (Lilya) Litviak was a beautiful Russian female fighter pilot and ace in the early second world war. She sadly died in combat, but an interesting story to look up and perhaps associate with the name

user1493494961 · 15/09/2019 19:10

If you weren't too fussed about the name until recently then I would choose something else - purely from a sanitary towel point of view.

Witchinaditch · 15/09/2019 20:01

I’d do it and I don’t think YABU but this is MN where they really do think you own names and that they are the first person ever to use their oh so unique chosen name for their child. If you like the name OP that’s all that’s matters. You don’t know what will happen with your friendship but I’m sure it can survive this!

pinkribbons · 15/09/2019 20:03

No I wouldn't. Doesn't matter if they are in the same year they will obviously spend a lot of time t

pinkribbons · 15/09/2019 20:05

Posted to soon lol. Your friend will think you have copied her

eccentricalice · 15/09/2019 20:07

Yes this is in the daily fail. OP read the 1000 comments on the article for your answer!

Cryalot2 · 15/09/2019 20:15

If you like a name use it. If anyone gets upset about this they need help. No one owns any name .
I always from I was young liked a certain boys name and was always going to call my son it. He has an older cousin of the same name .( different surnames)
Dd 's best friend has the same name as her.
Will you always be close to your friend? If you don't use the name would you regret it?
Btw you have made it to the daily mail with this

StillCoughingandLaughing · 15/09/2019 20:54

Good God, we don’t need anyone else to mention the Daily bloody Mail.

Phimma · 16/09/2019 09:23

@StillCoughingandLaughing

Explain your reason for the emoji's please.

Notajogger · 16/09/2019 09:43

I wouldn't.
Agree also with the sanitary product thing!
Both kids will probably end up being called Lily at school etc so end up with the same name anyway.
If you ask your friend if she minds - surely she's very unlikely to say yes even if she does mind?
Also Lilia isn't a common name at all - I don't think i'd heard of it - and she may get called Lilian anyway if people mishear.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 17/09/2019 07:13

Explain your reason for the emoji's please.

The hashtags.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 17/09/2019 08:10

I don't think YABU at all. It's a name. I think people who get arsey about stuff like this are precious and need to get a grip to be honest.

recklessruby · 17/09/2019 08:55

I wouldn't use it. Surely if its a recent choice you had previous loved names? So lets say you loved the name Bethany. Call her Bethany Lilia.
Personally I have about 5 lilys in a year 7 year group just now so it s a bit over used (and she will be Lily once she s at school).
My dd was born in 1994 and called Emma. I had loved the name since I read the book age 14 but suddenly there were Emma Louises all over the place!
I think that now it places her as definitely a 90s baby.
And i think you should talk to your friend. She might not mind.

Nonnymum · 17/09/2019 08:59

I think it's fine. It's not the same name.ans names are not unique anyway. If you love it why don't you ask your friend what she thinks?

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