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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be sick of my 'D'H's mansplaining?

104 replies

Petsr4life · 07/09/2019 15:06

He does it all the time. He seems to think he is the expert on everything. Can't back it up with evidence/sources either. He just 'knows' Hmm E.g. we are in the process of selling our house. I mentioned that we can't take bolted on shelves. He is adamant that we can, despite never having done any research. He will then get angry with me and then eventually look it up. After which I've 'misunderstood' him. I'm sick and tired of this. Once in a while I wont back down and we'll have a big argument where I accuse him of gaslighting. He will eventually apologise and promise to never do it again. We have had this exact same argument hundreds of times.

What happened today takes the biscuit. We disagreed over the area equaling 10 square meters. He got angry with me and then looked it up. Which showed him I was right. Apparently I misunderstood him. Thing is, I have a maths degree, he doesn't... so why on earth did he try to argue in the first place.

AIBU of being sick of his mansplaining?

OP posts:
Pinkypurple35 · 07/09/2019 15:08

I would point out his mansplaining every single time.
It must be very tiresome to have to put up with this.

Mysterian · 07/09/2019 15:08

Mansplaining is when a man assumes a woman/women know nothing and explains something obvious. HTH.

slobberyblob · 07/09/2019 15:09

Mine is a bit like that! Sometimes I'm wrong, sometimes he's wrong. But it can be quite competitive.

There is obviously some underlying source of resentment with him? Either that he's just a stubborn thinks he knows it all git!

Leighhalfpennysthigh · 07/09/2019 15:10

I had rugby mansplained to me by a guy I was on a date with once.

My late husband was a county level rugby player.
I am a sports physio who specialises in, yep, rugby.
I coach a children's rugby team.

JacquesHammer · 07/09/2019 15:12

I had rugby mansplained to me by a parent.

Of the team I was coaching.

I’m a dual-code qualified coach and have played rep level 🙄

bunnypenny · 07/09/2019 15:15

This isn’t mansplaining. It’s just him being wrong.

Watchingthyme · 07/09/2019 15:16

I mean technically it is mansplaining. But I kind of think that gives him an out. He doesn’t realise...

Do you think he respects you? If someone argued against me in my specialist field I would think they had zero respect for my mind.

I know it’s sounds like one of those “ oh men” type of situation. But honestly. This is not normal

Heartburn888 · 07/09/2019 15:18

My partner does this. I just let him do it his way and when it goes tits up he will come back to me and say ‘I should of listened to you’. He doesn’t learn for next time though 😂

SmudgeButt · 07/09/2019 15:20

Don't argue.

Just respond "Mansplaining!"

Even when out in public and his friends are around. No less than he deserves.

Original poster
Petsr4life · 07/09/2019 15:21

I guess no, it's not (always) mansplaining, half the time it's just him being a know-it-all. Equally irritating.

OP posts:
OnlyTheTitOfTheIceberg · 07/09/2019 15:23

So when a man without a maths degree tries to explain 10 square metres to a woman with a maths degree then? Just like one of the OP's examples?

I used to work for the national administrator of a particular sport. A man once tried to mansplain a particular rule change to me. I sat on the committee that had devised and implemented this rule change. Despite my protests that I understood the rule perfectly, he only stopped when a mutual (male) friend said "oi mate, Tit was one of the people responsible for bringing in the rule change, she knows it backwards you muppet."

PositiveVibez · 07/09/2019 15:25

Sounds insufferable.

EmeraldShamrock · 07/09/2019 15:27

Yanbu. DP will start but he knows by my face, yes I've been cheeky enough to call him out on it, it is on my list of very annoying things.
My Dad is a know it all, he frustrates the life out of me but I don't have the heart to call him out of it, he gets very angry even explaining especially you try to contradict him, I really don't know how my DM puts up with him.
You have my sympathy.

DoctorAllcome · 07/09/2019 15:32

I would find this irritating too. No one right all the time and so an adult should be able to take being wrong gracefully. He just sounds immature tbh.

JacquesHammer · 07/09/2019 15:39

I was at a literary event. A man in the audience tried to mansplain to the female expert.

I have never heard a more obvious collective sigh that translated as “for fuck’s sake”.

To give her credit she utterly destroyed him to the point of utter humiliation by taking apart his batshit theory most rigorously Grin

Original poster
Petsr4life · 07/09/2019 15:39

He also knows everything there is to know about mortgages Angry

Glad I'm not the only one at least who has to put up with this!

OP posts:
LannieDuck · 07/09/2019 15:40

"No, I didn't misunderstand you. You were just wrong."

ScrommidgeClaryAndSpunt · 07/09/2019 15:43

Send him to me, OP. I'll buy him a pint and tell him not to be a cunt.

Persea · 07/09/2019 15:45

Don’t put up with it.
Call him out on it - every single time.
It’s not just annoying, it’s bloody disrespectful, bordering on misogynistic.
It would do my head in.

HollowTalk · 07/09/2019 15:46

Are you sure you want to move in with him?

JapaneseBirdPainting · 07/09/2019 15:53

My Dh does this to me sometimes. I stop him with my hand and trill; 'Words of one syllable needed darling!'.

Then he realises what he is doing and laughs.

But, that is because he is not an arrogant shit. What you are describing sounds infuriating.

LettuceP · 07/09/2019 16:02

My BIL is the worst mansplainer I have ever met, it's bloody infuriating! Dh doesn't really do it, he generally knows about things that I don't and vice versa so we listen to each other. I couldn't live with a mansplainer so you have my sympathy OP.

Bowerbird5 · 07/09/2019 16:07

I think I would be considering buying my own house!

VeniVidiWeeWee · 07/09/2019 16:11

Er, why can't you take bolted down shelves?

longtimelurkerhelen · 07/09/2019 16:13

My partner does this. I just let him do it his way and when it goes tits up he will come back to me and say ‘I should of listened to you’. He doesn’t learn for next time though

Ditto Even after 20 years of an umblemished record of being right, my DH still does it.