Youtuber exploiting his severely autistic daughter - please help

[username108]

There is a channel on youtube called FatheringAutism, which is based in the USA. The Dad has a severely autistic teenage daughter and he films her daily life- including distressing meltdowns. As an autistic person, it is really upsetting to see him exploit his daughter. He is making a fortune and has just bought a huge house with a pool etc. He apparently quit his job a few years ago to do this youtube thing full time as he obviously saw that it would earn him a fortune.

What concerns me is that a lot of his supporters are vulnerable people who send him money via paetreon and all these other platforms. A lot of autistic people have commented about how they don't like what he is doing and he basically tells them their opinions aren't relevant (despite claiming to raise autism awareness!).

So, I need your help. They have just been nominated for an award called the WEGO health awards. I have just tweeted the CEO of the WEGO health awards and expressed my thoughts, and I'm wondering if anyone else will do the same? I really don't want this guy (Fatheringautism) to be given a platform for autism advocacy when he continually exploits people who are vulnerable, including his poor daughter. You can tweet or email the CEO - his name is Jack Barrette.

He talks about her going through puberty, it's wrong

Hmm, he recorded an entire video about this and it was about how they WOULDN'T talk about her puberty, relationships, etc. because it would be inappropriate. I'm not convinced you watched beyond looking at the titles

Totally behind you penguin pop

Every. Single. Word.

I have studied ethics..just to say.

So I say this with some research to back it up.

I've studied, too, still had to pay for private treatment for my autistic son. The psychiatrists, therapists, they all wanted money, not ethics.

Exactly, Penguin! And my child is 'high functioning'.

What does studying ethics have the faintest thing to do with paying for medical and psychiatric support exactly.

These posts simply dont make any sense.

Sorry some don't agree with you, but speaking to them this way wont make them change their minds.

It makes perfect sense when you're the parent desperately struggling to help your ill child, Truth. Quite rich of you to accuse others of speaking to you 'this way'. These people are doing what they can to provide for their child who will never have the capacity to live independently.

I really can't make sense of your argument atall.

You are just twisting, with a liberal pouring of emotional weight. Horrible.

I think you assume an awful lot, and your arguments are not making sense.

If you just came here for a fight then I'll leave you to it, because I literally cannot make sense of your arguments if not.

I disagree with you and you know nothing of me. You just seem to try to attack anything I say.

Goodnight

What argument? Who is arguing with you? You are the one who's been deleted for personal attack, not anyone else. It all smacks of sour grapes that these people have actually managed to find a way to provide their daughter with adequate care and make a living so they can help provide that to her. HOw can anyone know anything of you when all you have done on here is heap scorn on these people?

TruthOnTrial

Goady posting means you are trying to pick fights, not me.

You are making no effort in trying to have a discussion, so it makes sense that you don't understand anything. You have already said you did not want to respond to me, but you kept on doing it. I hope you can stick to your "good night" and move on to another thread now. Picking fights with families of people who have severe disabilities, that's really sad. Shameful posts imo. Just keep saying you're attacked though when you keep attacking others, I'm sure that makes sense in your head. Whatever helps you sleep at night.

I work in adult social care, in order to stop someone leaving the home unattended they need to be assessed, as does the care home, and a Deprivation of Liberty Safeguarding put in place. Is this the same for children being locked in rooms, or is it different?

Genuine question that popped into my mind as I'm reading.

Right.

I am not picking fights
I am not nasty just because I disagree with the ethics of this and exploitation of children.
...and all the other assumptions you have so self-righteously made about me.

You are wrong, and I cannot understand your threads of arguments at all.

You are simply being rude, because I disagree with the ethics.

So, no. Thats not basis for a discussion is it. As that is being goady.

I have not been goady at all.

Stop fighting and just give it up.

Where's OP??? The thread is so derailed its pointless

What are you trying to achieve with this behaviour?

Oh, look, whats that?

Yes, and goodnight.

I've not seen this youtuber but I thought I would weigh in as I am the step parent of a severely autistic, blind 12 yo boy who has profound learning disabilities and is non verbal. He needs full personal care, is doubly incontinent and can be extremely violent. He does not sleep and screams and shouts and jumps about for most hours of the night.
My dh and I are broken; we have had an extremely difficult time with social services, had respite cancelled for 5 weeks, live in a house that an OT report says is unfit for his needs. Care for him all hours and work jobs.
I have survived on little to no sleep solidly since I moved in with 6 nights of respite a month to catch up.
I've given everything I've got to my two step children, I've been their advocate, carer, provider and parent.
I fought in meetings with professionals to get my dss what he needs and at no point were the needs of the rest of the family even deemed important let alone my dss.
He has a safe space so we essentially deprive him of his liberty at night and when he has meltdowns (which have left me and my dh with nasty scars and many injuries)
In the end we are broken and exhausted and that was just to get him the care and support he needs in a residential setting.
Low functioning autism does not get the recognition it needs. We joined the NAS and all the meetings and support were for children and adults with higher functioning autism, there are no short breaks that meet his needs, PAs are non existent and care agencies won't touch our family with a barge pole. The school send him home at the slightest meltdown and you have to scream and shout to get support and even then they paint you to be the bad guy.
If there is a channel that supports families to feel not so alone then its fucking marvellous. I get that consent is a grey area and that DoLS is an issue where you cannot ensure their safety without keeping them in a safe space at night.
But it's the most psychologically and soul destroying thing to be a parent carer of a child who is a big toddler, who beats you up and laughs, needs full personal care and keeps you awake all night. You have to dig so fucking deep every day to keep going.
So thanks OP I will check this out, because if it helps me and my dh to feel less useless, like failures and broken people then I can keep digging deeper for the love I have for my step son and my family.

HerondaleDucks

You see the flaw there. You take unethical as a personal insult. Im not, and wasnt talking to you.

I was talking to OP about the situation OP posted.

You have accused me of attacking families?!?!

Of goading
Of how nasty it is to call that situation unethical,but its simply not nasty at all.

I said, that what you were doing in that way was being nasty.

Its not at all in the way I have posted, callibg me nasty fornsaying i think it s unethical.

You have made massive, wrong, assumptions about me, made accusations just because I didnt agree with you.

Well I dont have to.

I disagree with what that family are doing in this respect, as posted by OP.

Its not about other families, and its certainly not about you.

I can disagree with you and that doesnt make me a nasty person. Its not even a nasty assertion, its about safeguarding vulnerable children.

You might agree with what they're doing, i dont.

As for being wrongly accused of 'sour grapes, well,this is when you have to realise that the whole psuedo-discussion is plummeting to.

As for privilege...

Well,this isnt a discussion. As I said, you just seem to want to fight.

@PenquinPop The daughter doesn't even notice the filming Just because she is autistic, and doesn't seem to interact with the camera often, doesn't mean she doesn't notice it.

and

If I was Abbie and didn't feel embarrassed when screaming and having a meltdown in public, I honestly wouldn't care if my parents followed me around with a camera either tbh. I think we are applying emotions that do not exist in this scenario because our brains are all wired differently ... IF I could feel embarrassment

So you are of the belief that autistic people do not feel shame and embarrassment. "Differently wired brains" (not my choice of wording) does not mean no feelings.

Abbie's emotions certainly DO exist here, and you are wrong to imply she doesn't feel those things. Dismissing her as having no emotions just means videos like the ones this family make DO NOT help actually autistic people. Because your take away from them is that autistic people do not feel emotional the same way we do, and that is WRONG. So where is the awareness that is being raised with that one?

I would actually probably feel more remorse that I had destroyed any chance of my family ever having a normal life. I would feel mortified that my family gets stared at because of my behaviour ... and have their mental health reduced to nothing because of the daily labour I put them through

You are being ignorant and actually quite offensive now.

Yes, because if they try to provide for their child in the only way they can then they are unethical. You judge them.

It really doesn't matter that this might be the only way, its an unethical way.

This is not attacking families!

The ends do not justify the means, you saying they do, is just as wrong and unethical.

Have you even read the post above?

Like I said, there's no discussion here.

differentnameforthis

You do not speak for all autistic people.

If Abbie saw a video of herself living a normal day, why would she have a reaction to it? She wouldn't and you just don't want to accept that there ARE people on the spectrum who are severe enough to not have the same reaction as neurotypical people. You want to pretend these people don't exist.

You can try to call it offensive, but it's real life. And YOU are offensive to call me ignorant for something I live daily.

The ends do not justify the means

You have no idea about what kind of bullshit you are posting.

2 full time parents, carers, therapists, communication skills and a home suitable to her needs are not justified to being seen by the public (which will happen anyways when she steps outside her house, but I guess that's not allowed either). I do not agree with that statement AT ALL.